When do children realise what a lie is?
Asked by
Sandydog (
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January 26th, 2010
from iPhone
My 4 yr old G/Daughter was playing a game with my wife when suddenly it was realised the little one was cheating.
She was deliberately hiding some cards so that my wife couldnt have them and therefore could not win
When would you say kids understand what lies and cheating are? She wasnt happy when she was found out!!
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I would say just around this age. It depends if they are in this kind of competitive situation or not. Four year olds don’t like losing—and can get very upset. It might be better to keep the games to cooperative ones—like being on the same team or building together. As they get older, they can bear losing a bit better and the need to lie goes away.
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When they realize that telling the truth could mean trouble and “I don’t know” won’t work as an escape plan. The cheating aspect I believe would be something they were taught.
As far as I know she would never have been taught to cheat – her parents were really annoyed about that.
They said since she started school 6 months ago shes coming away with a lot of things theyve never said in front of her. Difficult to know how they pick things up at times.
I’d go so far as to say humans are wired at birthday to the detect, via various means, what is not true (at least in their realm of experience), and if so, the skill probably manifests itself even earlier, though the child may not have the tools yet to articulate it.
But then, I could be wrong. I’m not doctor and I never had kids. On the other hand, I’ve written lots of ads and TV commercials. ;-)
It comes with the child’s realization that there is a separation between his or her mind and that of others, so that what he knows is not information that’s available to others. This seems obvious to us adults, but it’s something that children don’t catch on to until around 3 years of age. That’s an average age and will vary quite a bit from one child to another as it is also related to language development.
When it gets you right in the gut. Metaphorically speaking.
My daughter is 4 and is started to try lying like crazy. She is beginning to understand that it will have consequences.
When they realize they no longer have the facts to back up their claim. And the story quits making sense to them.
Never underestimate the powers of observation and deduction of young people. It is an extremely bad idea to lie to them about important things. And “important’ is a variable quantity.
My Grandson starting playing “cheat” or some such thing when he was beginning to talk. He said “Where car?” which he was hiding behind his back – then “I find it!” when he showed his hand. It’s just like “peek a-boo, where are you?” when hiding your eyes, or covering baby’s eyes.
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