Meta Question

Fred931's avatar

Can we press the "Coherent Story" button again?

Asked by Fred931 (9404 points ) February 3rd, 2010

Well, it’s 2:30 in the afternoon where I’m at, and I’m pretty darn bored. I always thought asking this question again is always worth a shot; It worked once, it can most definitely happen again. I’m not sure how the mods will react to another one of these, but maybe they’ll let us carry through with it. Ohwell, here we go again…Maybe.

I think we’ll stick to richmarshall’s rules, 6-word limit to each response and no back-to-back responses, since that worked out so well more than a year ago. Have fun.

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521 Answers

Fred931's avatar

“What was that?!” I exclaimed loudly.

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As I heard the odd scurrying sound.

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I began searching frantically for my

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shotgun, but I had no more shells.

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I then began searching for a

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bow and arrow

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But then I realized: “Hey wait,

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I’ve just had a baby!”

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Perhaps the noise is my baby?

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Then I heard the thump!

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That’s no baby, so I turned

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around and saw this unbelievably huge

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ugly, stinking, but oddly attractive

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rabid donkey. Fearful, I ran for

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the kitchen.

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“Where did I put those vaccines?”

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I opened the drawer

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nothing. Another drawer, nothing.

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Then I remembered where I’d left

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“The Fridge” I exclaimed. I moved toward

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my wife. “My god!” I exclaimed,

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“You look like a rabid donkey”

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Why don’t you go back

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to bed for awhile.

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Then I heard a huge crash

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It was then I realized,

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I had forgotten about the donkey.

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It was stuck up my neighbors ass!

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I fell over laughing mine off.

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And landed on the floor, hard.

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Another thump. Was it me?

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But yet amazingly soft.

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And woke up the baby!

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WAA WAA WAA WAA WAA WAA

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I went to her crib.

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She looked up at me with

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fear and trepidation—or was

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that rabies?

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Definitely fear & trepedation

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That smell?

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That triple-answer? or Quadruple-answer?

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I picked the baby up.

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Oh, she was wet!

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I kept picking her up.

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What was I thinking…

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because she was slippery.

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Smelled like donkey poop!

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And then I heard another thump.

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More poop.

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She needs a bath!

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I looked around, but there was

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nothing but pooping and thumping.

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I saw the floor and said,

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a BIG dog!

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The dingo ate my baby!

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“Eff this,” I thought, turning to

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the front door

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where the donkey had ended up.

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The back door.

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Having a donkey for a door

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Which one to choose??

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LOLLLLL…....trying to get out!

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“We need an editor!” I cried.

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And a slice of cheese!

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This story sucks!!!

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noooooo…it’s fun

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So let’s make it another one?

Keep it going, just make a different story… somehow…

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What was a sucky story was just a dream.

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If that thumping doesn’t stop

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Im going to shoot something randomly.

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I’ll go out of my mind!

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The thumping was my heart, the dumping was my woman in the bathroom.

She is such as ass.

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you need a new woman!

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@ChazMaz 6 words or less, please.

hey, that WAS 6 words!

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thump…thump…thump…

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“The donkey’s in the bathroom!”

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And it wants a wheel of cheese.

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get meat & crackers, too

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And i’ll shoot @ChazMaz for typingmorewordsthanisallowed!!

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but before you do that, please

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Order an appetizer for everyone else

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shoot with rubber bullets

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So the coffee machine finally went off…

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And it transformed into a robot

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and over flowed on the counter

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@ChazMaz 6 words or less or GTFO. Seriously now.

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and turned into an Avocado

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That smelled oddly of coffee grounds.

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Ooohh..I LOVE avacadoes. Gimme, gimme…

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and deep fried chicken livers

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and orange, oddly-shaped onion rings.

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But it was the dog, the dog I tell you!!

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here we go again…...

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And again.

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whoot! one more time! :D

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Oh no. Late for work!

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said the awesome ChazMaz

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So, I grabbed my hockey stick

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better get going :-(

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and killed @ChazMaz for disobeying instructions.

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ahahaaaaaaa

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BUT HE LIVES! HE IS A

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ROCK MONSTA

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Holy shit I better get a

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what happened to the donkey???

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HIP HOPSTA

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Where did I put it?
It’s tough for this to be coherent with 50 flutherites going at once.

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it can’t keep up…... :-/

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The Donkey. The Douche. The Doorbell?

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The donkouchebell.

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Then Clint Eastwood was like

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the donkey. douche is bad karma

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So the doctor said…

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You’ve got nine days…

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Before you commit suicide unintentionally.

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oh, hell…..nooooooooo

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said Clint Eastwood

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AS he fell

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with his best Will Smith impersonation

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big bad Clint

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Or did I mean clit?

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LOLLLLLLL….go, Chaz. ’-)

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said Gordon Freeman

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to a can of tuna.

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“Worst answer ever!” it replied.

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130 responses!!

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He was smashed by TEH BANHAMMAH

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130 times.

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And out of nowhere came Gumby!

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Huh? This is off the rails.

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he said as he prepared

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Hot dam @ChazMaz !

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his tuna sandwich. So much for

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the whore it is.

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chicken is better

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I HAVE TO INSTATE THIS RULE BECAUSE OF CONFUSION. IF YOU ARE MAKING A SIDE COMMENT/JOKE/ETC, PLEASE USE THE WHISPER FUNCTION. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

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and that doesn’t count, btw

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than taking drugs and wine simultaneously.

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Guess I need to leave

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And talk to my doctor about

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I never whisper. Said the donkey.

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The pie got angry

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“OMG a talking donkey!”, said I

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Haven’t I heard of this before?

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Said the dish to the spoon.

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After overhearing this very unusual conversation,

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I was asked to read this,

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Via very annoying public comment spamming

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but it beats masturbating with razors.

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A truth we just cannot deny.

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Ouch!! sait the talking donkey!

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To the Norelco Santa.

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I would rather be gazing on

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my navel,

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or a dancing ladybird eating twinkies

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but alas,

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lint is the bane of winter’s

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existence. So I dusted with my

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dusting feather, and lo

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I found that stupid earring that

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I lost last spring.

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So, I fired up my chainsaw

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And yelled “Stick em up!”

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The donkey did as it was

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doing the chicken dance very well!

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Until he spotted the MAN!

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Dum dum dum…to be continued…

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He was a tall stinky man,

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He opened his mouth to say

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Ask not what your country can

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Screw you out of,

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But what it screws you into

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He pressed the button that said

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Warning: doomsday device has been activated

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the man starts to sing

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“Daisy, daisy, gimme your answer, do”

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more than half crazy I’m afraid…

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this is not very coherent.

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But still I manage to

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find my butt when I need to

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Cover my a$$ at times that

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suggest the police are arriving shortly.

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weapons drawn and going in hot!

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Then donkey aims his water pistol..

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And the whole world blows up.

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THE END

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Wow. Just, wow.

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Then, another universe opened up…

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She never knew that acquiring tentacles would lead to

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the heartbreak of psoriasis. Fortunately, aluminum-siding

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and a good stiff drink

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and apparently you can use more than six words in this new universe :)

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where anarchy continues to reign

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being grammatically correct at all times.

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Meanwhile, a donkey, wookin’ pa nub,

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Then I heard the thump!

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Apparently, nub can be self induced.

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So, I grabbed my hockey stick

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and experienced the joy of

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my wife. “My god!” I exclaimed,

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as she flailed her ever so frail arms.

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like a monkey in a mango tree

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grasping and flailing, but at what?

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I realized; “My muffins are burning!”

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the smoke, the fire, call 911!

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What was the number again?!

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Or was that 711?

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Tossing reindeer, it simply isn’t done.

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Especially when covered with popcorn.

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getting the fire under control, I…

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flew to go and cop porn!

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Unfortunately, all that could be found

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were 100 discarded panty liners.

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And some Cheez Whiz.

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With a little whipped cream on

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the earlobe.

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so I decided I would…

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Make a twice-baked potato before I

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try to detach the zipper from my scrotum.

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and then i woke up from my dream

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and the zipper was still stuck

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painfully to my tender skin

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I was amused and slightly embarrassed

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wondering if silver lame pants

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worn by Rod Stewart would ever

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So I called my family doctor

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to get her opinion about

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a referral to a cheap editor.

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“Cheep, Cheep,” she chirped. As I

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realized all dignity was lost.

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“Who needs dignity,” I boldly proclaimed!

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So I started to piss everywhere

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no longer bound by social conventions

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I dodged arrows of outraged fortune,

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and realized that learning how to

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use, “dodged arrows of outraged fortune” in a sentence is an astute accomplishment.

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So I set my sights on a new

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-time soap opera about

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Love, loss, the rich and powerful.

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Trapped on the 13th floor of a burning building.

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Marilyn was a wealthy widow who

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suffered delusions of grandeur while shooting

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weather balloons that warned of an

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epidemic of children hiding in garages.

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In an alternate reality, some typewriters

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melt under stress

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of monkeys random pressing, Hamlet results.

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To Thine Own Self Be True…

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Or else I’ll pinch your little

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Women signed first edition.

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Running over his head wasn’t intentional,

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it just happened, like when…

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I ate four of Saturn’s moons

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and spewed out the worst

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-smelling diarrhea known to mankind

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So i drank a glass of maalox

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and returned quickly to the throne.

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only to hear the telephone ringing

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My friend said Jeruba hit 20k!

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before the police found her stash

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I then saw a shiny object

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vibrating in the corner of the

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kitchen, which I immediately attacked.

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I was overwhelmed by a glow…

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Alas! Alak! Oh Crap! When

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I inadvertently stepped on Milo’s tail

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pipe. Boy was it ever hot!

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I ran in circles flailing wildly

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, somehow, the botched surgery made my

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dog get GLAUCOMA

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So I grabbed her by the

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scruff of her neck and pulled

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3 times

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“There’s no Place Like Home” I

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said, first in Farsi and then

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got on my magic carpet to

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where I behaved very strangely while

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tiny chartreuse fairies blew smoke into

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a hula dancing bear’s

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big butt. Holistic approach indicates that

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I was destined to find the

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definitive source of navel lint, although

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The quest would lead me to

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a collision of harmonious winged prosthetics,

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My one legged father would later

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remember a universe with tentacled ladies.

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It was unsettling, but made for good stories around the

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glory hole

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especially in the summer, when the

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ocean provided easy access.

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As I contemplated my adventure, I

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became enamored of the bucolic musings

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of ShazDaz ;-), always freakin’ me out

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especially when I am freaked out

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promised to never say glory-hole again!

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But that is another story…

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for some donkeys we know. Meanwhile,

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as mayhem ensued in Antarctica,

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I decided to brew some joe.

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Joe wasn’t feeling cooperative though, consequently

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I took to the streets, looking

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for some very angry mice

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who just happened to be blind.

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and traveled in packs of three.

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Tipped off by a local newspaper,

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the press flooded the three blind, angry mice with questions.

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Rusty sang like a canary, while Morty

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mooed like a cow, and while Quincy simultaneously

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demanded his cheese. I brought out

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my lightsaber replica and

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promptly sliced off my own doggone

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big toe. I lamented the loss

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and began to clean the blood off of

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a used diaper, that was a gift

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from my baby, sir poops-a-lot.

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Thrown off balance by my injury,

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derived by opening a can of soup. Tomato soup.

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Andy Warhol has it now but

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When I got it, it was beautiful.

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However, it is now part of

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History. Meanwhile, back at the

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space station, General Judi

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was having her nostril hair plucked.

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But sadly, it was quite stuck.

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causing her to screech like a

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baboon stuck in a toilet.

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A toilet, in the middle of a forest.

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“But if a toilet flushes in the middle of a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Judi wondered, as she

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failed to follow instructions yet again

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she then apologized profusely.

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Then reached for the gun and

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took a sip of the ‘stock’

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as she struggled out of

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the large cocoon and

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sprang out as a beautiful

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zygote

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And she wondered, “what is a zygote?”

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Then it started, “JUDI! JUDI! JUDI!”

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Merciful and mighty. All the world shall

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grovel in its own filthy debasement.

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And then, all of a sudden,

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from the ashes of sophomoric drivel

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rose Sarah Palin

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with all of her

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offspring who were whale hunting with

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Russians masquerading as alaskans who hoped

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to capture the great elusive mysterious

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alleged giant kangaroo.

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All, while baking a cake.

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A moose once bit my sister

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Nostradamus used the word Hister

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but my shoes gave me a blister

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, certainly, clogs are for the hipster.

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Are you dissin’ my shoes mister?

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Were they made by Price Pfister?

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Or worn first by Joseph Lister?

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While he played twister?

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Anyway… What about the sister?

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Did she play twister?

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I hear the Moose bite gave her a blister.

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It was on her keister.

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Speedy Gonzalez dated her seester

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Who sang like Leighton Meester.

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but sounded like foghorn leghorn.

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As you know, Foghorn Leghorn was a man from Nantucket.

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Who lived in a bucket.

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Or was it licking the bucket?

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speculated something about his ear

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which was quite peculiar looking.

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Then one day

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the alleged Giant Kangaroo began to

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sell spatulas door to door in

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her suit that made pouch access

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quite difficult.

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Regardless, she became a great success

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at selling spatulas, mice, and

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consequently, became a driving force in

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men wearing boxer shorts.

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After a long day of selling spatulas,

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Our hero, was pleased to discover

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that in his closet was a portal to

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a 7–11

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Delighted, he went and bought himself a

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Slurpee but it was a special

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brew that oddly glowed in the

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light. It tasted of

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slurry, like that of what’s found

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in a rendering pot of tallow

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I then vomited in the parking

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garage. It matched with pigeon corpses

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strewn across the filthy ground.

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I then stomped back into the

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quiet library where many people were

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In a circle holding hands, quietly

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eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

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I jumped into their circle and yelled

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“Hoooray for Peanut-butter & Jelly Sandwiches!!!”

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They just stared at me like

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I was completely naked

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Looking down, I realized that

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I wasn’t completely naked! I quickly

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licked off the PBJ and turned

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to the left

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and leaped through the reality portal

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into the magical land of

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South Dakota

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where many peanut shops were, and

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where triffids run unbound and joyous!

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I was still naked, so I quickly

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remembered that I wasn’t naked and

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Then I was really confused. Could

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I actually be naked?

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I gave up, opting for clarity

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I sought the advice of

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whom other then…

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The hookah-smoking caterpillar from chapter three!

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But of course, who else could

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Discern the state of my wardrobe?

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Leaving stains where the armpits reside?

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I concerned him with my situation

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involving the infamous

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wax toilet ring and firecracker boys.

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His face lit up and he

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quickly put out the fire.

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He had obtained 2nd degree burns

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and back in 5071 this would

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not make any sense at all.

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Just like this damn story.

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But none of that matters, because

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I just farted.

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I quickly blamed the odor on

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Judi, because she was the person who

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recently overcooked some pork dish that

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caused me and everyone around me to suddenly

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Break out of their stupor and

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break through the door that lead to

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Narnia.

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CS Lewis was mad. His literature

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should be one of a kind, not

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Exposed in an online game of

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Twister.

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So I quickly changed the subject

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To something a little less

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poetic.

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I ran to my

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shower with

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An idea that watering my earlobes

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PEOPLE!! THE BABY! THE BABY! Where

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was I, did I forget the baby?

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In the bathtub? I thought I

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Heard a thump. is zat cheating?! :)

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@Val123 yes, that is cheating. ‘S OK this one time, tho.

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A talking donkey came to mind.

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Then a thud to my ears…

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I ran for the bathroom with

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cheese in my hand. What the

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hell? I wanted my gun, not

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cheese and toilet paper! Are you

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insane?” I yelled to myself. I

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raced past the rabid donkey to

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find the baby in the tub

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O shit. It’s been 5 days.

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Yet, he was still splashing happily

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So I got him out and put

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my super secret remedie made of

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pickle relish and all-natural ingredients

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with a drop of cancer causing

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Carcenogins, which under these circumstances should

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give the baby a third arm.

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which came in HANDy when he

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pets our dog, who likes to

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eat people’s arms when annoyed. I

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quickly grabbed the phone and called

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the vet to anesthesiate (?) it quickly.

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She was afraid she’d have to

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cut off her arm WITHOUT anesthesia

Pseudonym's avatar

“oh no, will it feel like

Judi's avatar

The time that my little brother

Pseudonym's avatar

hit me on the head with

Val123's avatar

A donkey shoe made of titanium.

Arp's avatar

Yeah, that was the worst.”

Pseudonym's avatar

But the ambulance was heading toward

Val123's avatar

THE SWOLLEN, FLOODED, RAMPAGING, DEADLY RIVER!

Pseudonym's avatar

I quickly grabbed my karaoke machine

DeanV's avatar

and made sure it didn’t get wet.

Fred931's avatar

Parties without karaoke are bullturds, y’know.

Val123's avatar

But it got wet. “Take me to….”

DeanV's avatar

the midnight train going anywhere” it said

Fred931's avatar

I realized it could be saved,

Val123's avatar

So, I got off at “Anywhere” Wyoming…

I’m getting confused again. We have two different story lines!

Pseudonym's avatar

and ate their famous taco supreme

Fred931's avatar

, which gave me sudden explosive diarrhea.

Just_Justine's avatar

and incredible wind

Judi's avatar

So I constructed a sail, which

Just_Justine's avatar

blew me steadily towards Madagascar

Fred931's avatar

“That’s where the lemurs are, right?”

Just_Justine's avatar

luckily I had cleverly packed my

Val123's avatar

lemur-skin suitcases. Which turned out

DeanV's avatar

to be problematic when I was kidnapped by the lemurs.

Just_Justine's avatar

but I outwitted them by saying

Val123's avatar

Well, lying “It’s NOT lemur skin!”

Fred931's avatar

I should have banhammer rights for this question for those who break the rules such as @dverhey . Bad.

DeanV's avatar

Fair enough. That was a bit too long.

Pseudonym's avatar

They were smart, but fell for it.

Val123's avatar

..and right into it. Suddenly she

Fred931's avatar

realized she was in a pile of

Pseudonym's avatar

Giant killer snow-goons from Mars

Scooby's avatar

Great pile of poop! :-/

talljasperman's avatar

that I served to the

MilkyWay's avatar

King from I don’t know land

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