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wundayatta's avatar

Did you do something in the past that now weighs down your mind?

Asked by wundayatta (58357 points ) March 22nd, 2010

Was there something you did that either you knew was wrong at the time, or turned out to have big negative consequences that you’ve been thinking about ever since? What did you do? What do you wish you could do now in order to get it out of your mind and off your chest?

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39 Answers

nebule's avatar

Most of my secrets (that i can think of right now) are out in the open… because in the interim period they crucified me.. And that usually last a few days at the most I regularly do things i regret…large and small, talking about it always helps.. to anyone who will listen but your best friend if possible!

bellusfemina's avatar

Was a stripper for a day. I thought it would be fun just to see what it was like, but it just made me feel shitty about myself. (no offense to any dancers out there it just wasn’t my thing!)

Vunessuh's avatar

Yes.
Writing about it was very therapeutic.
It has affected certain aspects of my life negatively and I do think about it often, but I’ve reached a point where I try to not let it diminish my quality of life.

pathfinder's avatar

Do you mean the unaware

CMaz's avatar

Holy shit yes!

I learned to get over it, learn from it and move on.

Hollywood, mid 80’s cocaine. Need I say more?

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Well, I haven’t done anything in the future that bothers me. Not yet, anyway.

pathfinder's avatar

The inner voice gone allways follow you from the past

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

You get over it and move on.
Everyone needs to decide for themselves how to get over it and maybe they even need some help getting over it but they need to get over it lest they relive it daily.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

I have a side of me that most people don’t know about. Do I feel guilty about it? No. I should, but I don’t. But I DO have some issues from about 10–12 years ago that I’ll never get over. It’s too late now to deal with it, so I’ll just have to live with it.

Kraigmo's avatar

There’s a fine balance between the successful mind that moves forward and the asshole mind that moves forward without ever being weighed down by past actions

stump's avatar

The biggest regrets I have are things I didn’t do. There are a couple of things I wish I hadn’t done, but thankfully they were long ago, and I have learned from them, and left most of the pain behind.

pathfinder's avatar

yes there is a cure for the pain,yes,yes,yes.Thanks stump,you reminde to me the hope

josie's avatar

Plenty. Did it for God and country though, so at least I can live with it.

stump's avatar

@pathfinder Keep the faith. The pain fades.

TPS's avatar

I abandoned a child. I knew the mother was going to be OK financially, and she had a great social support system. Due to my own circumstances, I thought they would be better off without me. The pregnancy caused the mother to kick her coke habit, and we were not really in love, just a couple of consenting adults having too much fun. I’ve heard that the child, now an adult, is doing well and thriving. I don’t know if she knows I’m her birth father or not.

chels's avatar

Yeah, actually. I was just reminded of this a bit ago as well, how ironic. I wish I could have just not hidden anything. I wish I could have been straight forward and not so embarrassed about how I felt. /sigh

Shit happens.

wtfrickinfrack's avatar

I dropped out of college halfway through first semester, lost all my scholarships, lost all my friends, and was a generally shitty person for 2 years. So now I have to work like crazy to pay for something that was originally free and grovel to old friends every time I see them.

…I’m pretty wise in case you haven’t noticed ;)

slick44's avatar

I have, but i guess i didnt learn cause im still doin it.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Oh yes.

neverawake's avatar

hm..let’s see..umm…NO.

liminal's avatar

sigh. yes. I don’t see them as things to be purged of, they are a piece of my multifaceted life.

Cruiser's avatar

I have said some mean things I wish I could take back.

faye's avatar

I wish I had waited to divorce until my children were all older. I wish I had talked to my husand more. The divorce screwed my kids up, I think, but maybe they would have had that teen angst anyway. I often regret it, ut it was almost intolerable for me.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Cruiser I’ve said some mean things that shouldn’t have had typos and misspellings. I need a longer edit window sometimes. And more patience to proofread before I hit the ‘Answer’ button.

But your response is, as usual, much nicer.

Cruiser's avatar

@CyanoticWasp Fluther at least affords you a generous time window to edit and redo dumb comments. Real life with real people is where I made my error and sincere apologies just don’t seem to fully make amends for something that should not have been said.

pengut2's avatar

I messed up on something stupid when I was young, everyone laughed and I have always had problems with failing since then .

YARNLADY's avatar

No, I have been pretty good at compartmentalizing the unpleasant things in my past, so they don’t weigh down on my mind. I just save it for a convenient time, and reflect on what might have been for awhile, and then get back to the here and now.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

So far the worst thing I’ve done is have sex with a married person. A man I’d fallen in love with had told me my values were the most cherished things to him so when he broke off with me, I destroyed the things in me he once had loved knowing he’d never be able to look at me the same ever again and therefore I’d be safe from trying to get back with him and making a fool of myself. Kind of an oxymoron, go me!

wundayatta's avatar

@Neizvestnaya I love the convoluted logic of that. It’s so convoluted that I actually understood it!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@wundayatta
takes one to know… oh never mind ;)

yankeetooter's avatar

Yes, 22 years ago I dropped out of college, and just returned about 3 years ago. I don’t even fully understand why I did this…part of it was financial reasons, part of it was just being in a state of depression at the time. I’m am very proud of myself for going back to school, but sometimes the thought of how I have wasted the past 20 years of my life is very painful to reflect on.

nebule's avatar

@yankeetooter good for you for going back to it, I’m a firm believer that it’s never too late (I’m still trying to get my degree – I’m 30)

wundayatta's avatar

@yankeetooter I don’t believe time can be wasted. You gained a lot during those 20 years.

yankeetooter's avatar

@wundayatta Thanks, and I know…but some days I look back and wonder what the point of those twenty years was…the only thing good I can see about having gone back to school after all this time, as opposed to having finished when I first started, is that I wouldn’t have met a certain person…but that doesn’t seem to be working out as it is…

nebule's avatar

hmmm, I shouted at my son this morning; I was really grumpy with tiredness…but it was wrong wrong wrong and I apologized to him and he’s fine, a very forgiving little chap…but it still weighs heavy on me because I know I can do better…

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