Social Question

Just_Justine's avatar

Have you got a "physical flaw" that ruins your life?

Asked by Just_Justine (6453 points ) March 31st, 2010

Do you have a physical flaw that you feel is causing you to lose self esteem?

Perhaps to any one observing it is a small thing, or perhaps it is not. It could be a case of in-congruency or even a body dysmorphic disorder. Or simply a body part you cannot come to terms with.

I do ask this because I do! and the only way to fix it would be surgery which I can’t have. So my question is, do you have such a flaw that plays on your mind? Are you going to change it? Or will you just accept it. Or do you think everyone has flaws so what the heck. Your flaw might be private so you need not mention it if you feel you do not want to.
But my flaw is causing me much torment. I’d say it is ruining my life really. If you can brush aside your flaw, how did you do it?

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71 Answers

MrGV's avatar

I wish I had bearlike strength….

trailsillustrated's avatar

I did. I had it fixed at 17. I’ve always been glad.

DominicX's avatar

There were times when I was younger and I viewed the fact of my physical smallness as being a “flaw” and I hated it. This was not all the time by all means, just sometimes. I wasn’t just “small”, I was the smallest. I was shorter and tinier than every other person it seemed and there were times when I really didn’t like it. I was 15 and passing for an 11-year-old!

However, as I got older I actually began to like it a lot more. It made me unique, people thought it was cute, I saw it as a plus side. And of course now, while I’m still not a very big person and I’m relatively short (5’6”), I just kind of blend in more and it doesn’t stand out that much. The days of being super tiny fill me with nostalgia now…lol

My giant nose on the other hand…

Facade's avatar

I’d like to have prettier feet.

Just_Justine's avatar

@DominicX When I look at your photo I certainly do not see a giant nose. I see a very defined attractive face. So I think your “flaw” is not really a flaw at all. Anyway, does it hinder you in some way? Like my real flaw does? I almost never feel like going out again to be honest. my flaw was mentioned today by people too

TheOnlyException's avatar

I always look at my face and am annoyed at how asymmetrical it is. Like, god, i dont know, My mother could have been a model how she looked in her day, but of course.. i dont get her genes do i?
at least not enough of them..
but everyone tells me how pretty i am, and how much i look like her.
but i cant get past it sometimes. just.
grr.

DominicX's avatar

@Just_Justine

Why thank you. :)

And nah, it doesn’t hinder me. I don’t notice it much. It’s just that I have a pretty small head and my nose is pretty big. But you know what? My boyfriend has an even bigger nose. I find myself attracted to that for some reason…lol

I mean, I’m just not that affected by that kind of thing. If someone were to make a comment about it, I probably wouldn’t like it, though. That has happened before and it didn’t make me feel very good.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

I went to school with a guy who was born with only one hand.
I went to school with a guy who had cancer.
I went to school with a guy in a wheelchair.

It didn’t seem to ruin their lives. The rest of us did well to learn from that.

Just_Justine's avatar

@TheOnlyException I can relate loll. My mom and aunt were beauty queens, I guess they took all the genes :)

Jude's avatar

Nothing that hinders me. I wish I was a little bit taller, though.

“I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a ‘64 Impala”

faye's avatar

I had bat wings for ears and had them pinned back into normal ears when I was 16— best thing I ever did!!

Just_Justine's avatar

@faye thanks for sharing that :) I am beginning to think surgery is the only way out :(

TheOnlyException's avatar

@Just_Justine I know it is so irritating right! I keep looking at all these old photos of my mum, and she is well, a knockout, not simply ‘pretty’, but traffic stopping you know? it irritates me so much, but when im in a good mood i like to think i have a lot of her genes in me and that sometimes i dont see it.

THEN.. i look at what she married.. hahaha
he was just lucky he had the smarts and sense of humour

hahaha :) glad you can relate

bright_eyes00's avatar

@Facade I agree. My feet are large and I feel that they are ugly. Given that I’m six feet tall so I’m proportional. I just wish I could wear the cute shoes that other girls with smaller feet can wear. I’m very self conscious about it.

slick44's avatar

You said it right, Everyone has flaws.

trailsillustrated's avatar

@Just_Justine I don’t know what your flaw is, but some good surgeons have really attractive financial terms. no or low interest, flexible payments. I was told while growing up that it wouldn’t matter, that I should live with it, that I should be thankful I didn’t have polio like my sisters, on and on. I feel like my life really started at 17 after surgery to fix it, I
always felt so glad I did it so young. When it’s your face, (don’t know what yours is) you can’t really escape it. People can be so cruel.

TheOnlyException's avatar

@bright_eyes00 SIX FEET TALL? you lucky thing! i would LOVE to be that tall, really stand out from the crowd :)
who gives a shit about femininity (cute shoes etc), no one notices ‘delicate, little flowers’
you could wear some killer shoes and turn every head in the room!

i hate being..average 0_o

Lightlyseared's avatar

No. I’m not perfect but I’m happy with who I am.

Just_Justine's avatar

@trailsillustrated I know everyone is going to scream at me,but I smoke, and I cannot stop right now. So anyhow, I went to a plastic surgeon and he said he can do it under local and that the smoking didnt matter, not so sure though?

SeventhSense's avatar

I suppose we all have some flaws. I don’t have any that ruin my life. The abs are a constant struggle but I work out 5–6 days a week and watch what I eat so I’m happy to make consistent progress.
@TheOnlyException
I’m 6’2”...but I’m a guy…:oP

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Nothing, I actually like my physical self.

lilikoi's avatar

I wish I had longer legs! Then I wouldn’t be so short, and I’d have longer legs. Being short and small sucks sometimes. It’s hard to find clothes that fit right, people like to call you “cute” and “petite”, they are constantly amazed by my physical strength (for such a small person), it can be hard to level with someone that is 6 and a half feet tall, because, well it is physically impossible to see eye-to-eye… It also has advantages. I had crooked teeth but I had them straightened.

SeventhSense's avatar

@Neizvestnaya
You have something on your face….no other side…

SeventhSense's avatar

@lilikoi
I love picking up petite women and carrying them…. :)

tedibear's avatar

Physical flaws that ruin my life? No, although if I hadn’t had bunion surgery years ago, I would probably be in a lot of pain and that would have sucked.

Sometimes, I get fixated on my nose; usually after seeing a picture of myself or catching sight of my profile in the mirror. It’s not huge, just at too much of an angle for my face. I dislike it intensely and it’s not going to get smaller without surgery. With age and weight loss, I have started to get loose yucky skin between my neck and chin. Blech. These could both be fixed with surgery, but then I get all sensible and decide I shouldn’t spend that much money on something so vain. (Vain to me, not necessarily an objective view.)

rebbel's avatar

I always believed i had a bit a long face, that believe made stronger by a critic friend who agreed with me.
Years later when i got in relationships my (then and now) girlfriends said that they find me beautiful, that believe vanished and made place for awareness that i am quite okay.
Happy with my face and happy with who i am.

Mikelbf2000's avatar

Not sure. I have some features that I dont like. Someone may like them. I dont know.

Mikelbf2000's avatar

@bright_eyes00 Why are you women so upset if you have big feet lol. I like big feet on women lol. It anyone truly flawless though? There’s another question for you all. lol

faye's avatar

@Just_Justine If it’s surgically approved already, go for it!! You know Champix has got me not smoking with no pain and I rarely think of them!! Chantix for USA?

Just_Justine's avatar

@tedibear39 I know what you mean :((

Just_Justine's avatar

@faye the surgeon said he would do it regardless of my smoking, as it would be local, but he prefers general. I just think smoking and general is dangerous? even tho he said it woudl be ok.

faye's avatar

I smoked for years and had several surgeries during that time. the anesthetics nowadays are so light, you wake up quick and are good to go in a couple of hours. Champix is a pill that stops nicotine from binding to the receptors in our brains, so you continue to smoke for awhile but it doesn’t give you the same hit and then you stop. Take the pills for up to 12 weeks to be sure you’re done.

WestRiverrat's avatar

I don’t think a physical flaw will determine whether your life is ruined or not. It is your attitude that will decide that.

If you determine to make the best of what you have, you win.

Stephen Hawking is a good example.

Just_Justine's avatar

@WestRiverrat so true, but so hard to do really.

bright_eyes00's avatar

@TheOnlyException I wear bombshell shoes with like four inch heels. but i get really nervous when people stare at me. so that’s rare that i wear those. i get my toes done french tip every once in a while and i feel better about them. dated a guy who used to tease me all the time about them which only made me hate them worse. there is nothing wrong with “average” because there is no such thing as “average”.

Mikelbf2000's avatar

@bright_eyes00 no such thing as flawless either

cytonic_horus's avatar

I don’t have anything personally that would make me go for surgery but I do understand why some people want to and indeed have surgery to correct things that make them unhappy. Little things can change people and their entire outlook. They can suddenly feel more confident about things and come on leaps and bounds.

I think the only problem is with those who when they get something fixed move on to feeling something else is wrong. Sadly I feel a lot of surgeons see the money and not that the person may have a different problem that requires a different specialist.

trailsillustrated's avatar

@Just_Justine do it, if you can. If the surgeon said a local and smoking didn’t matter, I would. Just depends how strongly you feel about it.

Exhausted's avatar

I have always had a bad complexion. I’ve tied everything I know to try and clear up my face and nothing really works. I’ve just come to accept this is the way it is going to be and live with it, but it has always caused me to feel unattractive. Evenutally I realized that every person on this earth, no matter how wonderful everything may seem for them, has some type of adversity to struggle with. I have positives and negatives and I choose to focus on the positives and try to develop those and enjoy what they bring to my life and not waste any part of my life feeling inadequate anymore due to my short comings. Nobody has everything covered, especially not me.

pizzaman's avatar

Nope. That is good.

WestRiverrat's avatar

@Just_Justine If it will help you feel better about yourself do it. Your surgeon probably prefers not to use a local because it avoids potential lawsuits and freaked out patients.

I prefer to have a local, but then I like to watch what the surgeon is doing.

added – if the thought of seeing/hearing the surgery makes you nervous, ask if you can take your iPod. Then plug in and close your eyes and try to take a nap.

Blondesjon's avatar

Yes. I have a free thinking brain that is not tainted by the daily bombardment of bullshit that is shoved in all of out faces every day.

Because I haven’t bought in to the fact that, you need to “be on a side” or “everyone is special” or “chimpanzees are cool pets”, I am often branded as an “asshole” for this.

spoiler alert! being referred to as an asshole is a huge turn on to me.

MrsDufresne's avatar

I have lots. I mean lots. I’ve just mastered the art of compensating for them, by making the other things surrounding them more aesthetically pleasing.

ashxmy_lovee's avatar

Small boobs, causes major insecurities as almost everyone has bigger ones than me & I have nothing.
I also have Psoriasis which basically consumes my life, it causes obsessive scratching & picking. Flakes are always noticeable in my black hair.

WestRiverrat's avatar

@ashxmy_lovee don’t worry about the small boobs. You would be surprised how many men actually prefer them once they get past puberty.

You also will have fewer back problems and less sag once you get passed 40.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@bright_eyes00 – Tall ladies are hawt! Anyone who says differently has an ego problem.

My “flaw” is my weight-slash-body shape, ugh. I hate, hate, hate it. I know I’d be hot if I lost like 20–30 pounds, like haaaaht!, no joke. It’s sad that I just don’t want to exercise, you’d think I’d have motivation enough, right? Although, I just basically have a guy’s body with boobs (no hips, no ass.. sexy, right?), and I pretty much will no matter what, but at least clothes fit me in a more flattering way when I’m thinner.

Scooby's avatar

My only self esteem issue would be I wish I still had my own front teeth, I lost four of them six years ago in an accident! Still other than that I’m all good! :-/

YARNLADY's avatar

Yes, I have been physically weak my entire life, and extremely myopic. I was always made fun of in gym class, and even when I started working out on a regular basis, the trainer couldn’t believe how basic I had to begin.

zophu's avatar

I’ve got health issues, but my main problems are in my head and in my environment. I don’t envy those that have to worry about more then that. I guess the best way to deal with anything you can’t change is to achieve just the right amount of “fuck it.” Not so much that it becomes denial of a problem, but enough to not get stuck on it and move on.

ratboy's avatar

“Cute—just like a little acorn.”

Blondesjon's avatar

@ratboy . . . like a lightswitch.

Pandora's avatar

I’m not perfect. Sure if we all look hard enough there would be those flaws we don’t like, but if I can’t fix it with makeup, exercise, or dieting or cover with a cute outfit or a cute hair cut then I just let it go. Things that bothered me as a teen no longer bother me. At least not to the point of taking a knife to it. I am what I am. I told my sister I wasn’t crazy about my smile lines and she said why don’t I get botox injections. Hell nooooo. No needle is going near my face unless its to save something like my sight or sinuses or something absolutely needed. Not to mention the thought of having crap injected into my body on purpose is ridiculous to me. I don’t feel the long term effects have been studied long enough.

jazmina88's avatar

I do have a flaw, and I’d love to look like you, justine.

TheOnlyException's avatar

@bright_eyes00 all i know is if i was as tall as you i’d embrace all the stares ;)
glad to know you wear those bombshell shoes once in a while though! :)

Sophief's avatar

My life is one big flaw.

jazmina88's avatar

Geesh, last nite, 3 up I said i had a flaw…..fluth up….and today I went to see specialist, who knows fibromyalgia, but also is botox, laser, dude…...Way too much coincidence…..

makes me think about the possibilities and the financing…....

zophu's avatar

I’m not comfortable with little surgeries here and there. If I ever get disfigured or something, I’ll get some help; but anything short of that, nah. I’ll wait till we can genetically rewrite ourselves or something. Most cosmetic surgery still seems a little hacky.

Just_Justine's avatar

@ben-zophu-im I agree, I am in two minds, I think I’ll just have to accept it. Sigh.

faye's avatar

@Just_Justine Whaaaat is it? I am curious yellow!!

mattbrowne's avatar

Physical “flaws” only ruin our lives, if we think they ruin our lives. It’s our decision.

Blondesjon's avatar

@mattbrowne . . . well put.

Just_Justine's avatar

@mattbrowne so true! so true. But I wish people would stop grabbing at it (I am being serious).

mattbrowne's avatar

@Just_Justine – Sorry to hear that. You mean grabbing at it against your wish?

Aster's avatar

Just aging crap. A lot of things that can be changed with money or effort that didn’t exist 15 yrs ago. Then, I would just say Nope!

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@Just_Justine Every woman in my family was “blessed” with triple H sized bra cups. Me, I got what was left over. How lucky I am NOT! *Hurray for recessive, absent, un-feminine chest genes.

samanthaw112's avatar

My psychical flaw is having being born with abnormal arms and hands I have all my digits on my left hand but i only have 3 digits on my right hand and i have missing bones in both my forearms witch make my life very difficult.

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