How do you know if you are in love with someone?

I think I have answered a similar question before, but here it is again.

“A feeling of emptiness when you are not with them & butterflies in your stomach when you meet up again”

Ok , well what if you get all that but you aint actually ever met them yet?

so you are saying that its the feelings? thats all I needed to know , thanks

@dc10 Yes, in my opinion it is your emotions for someone, and missing them when not with them.

so its possible to have a strong spiritual connection with someone you aint even met. That is a very rare kind of Love

@dc10 Well I am assuming you have already met that person, to either be infatuated or in love with them.
I can’t see how you could love someone having never met them, or getting to know them first.

Well assumptions are never really a good thing and are said to be the mother of all fuck ups! excuoooze my french! lol well I believe that the spirit knows, and the spirit knows another ones spirit, and that is upmost important wouldnt you say?

Does wanting to make someone feel secure make you infatuated with them or does it mean that you love them?

Infatuation is temporary, but love lasts. If you love someone, you can argue with them till you’re blue in the face, but at the end of the day you would still give your life for them.

Generally if you need to ask the question, you don’t yet know what love is.

Exactly if you really love someone you can argue with them until you are blue in the face and still give your life for them , yes of course, and regardless of asking a question or anything much else, that pretty much sums up IF you actually do love someone

you can say generally , however nothing is ever that general, not the way i know life to ask a question does not have to equal you know nothing much or very little about something neccessarily and it can just as easily mean you only want to know more also

Your wallet’s empty…...most of the time :¬(

you see for you to love someone enough to give your life for them, well questions are invalid anyway but it is always given with no questions actually asked..

the only question really is would that person that you love so much be willing to ever do the same for you if neccessary? they may or may not be but the short of it is that I wouldnt ever want them to in anycase

If you have to ask, then you’re not.

well no one knows all about love to even say that. If we knew all about love to not even have to ask questions then no poetry would ever be written for start

You see in love, and when you really love somebody there also comes fear, and in fear there are plenty of insecurities, which would be one explanation for the questions and where they come from too. So just because somebody asks that or any question, does not frankly mean that they do not love that person at all. That is in no way the truth and it wouldnt be yours to tell either

If you’re in love, you won’t have to question if what you’re feeling is love.

@dc10 “to ask a question does not have to equal you know nothing much or very little about something neccessarily and it can just as easily mean you only want to know more also”

Certainly. However if you wanted to know more, I would have expected a more specific question. Artists, musicians, poets and philosophers have tried to describe love for centuries, but yet none are able to make words convey the state of being that love is. Infatuation is easy – you want to know all about a person, you want to be with them, and you stand somewhat awestruck by them. On the other hand, if you love someone you want what makes them happy regardless of what you want. If you love them and they do not love you back, you will avoid them because its what they want.

Fluther allows you to edit posts for ten minutes after posting. Please try to keep all thoughts in one post – multiple posts can be tiresome to read. Welcome to Fluther!

and maybe I wasnt asking the question from my own viewpoint?! perhaps just maybe the question was asked to see what other peoples viewpoints are on it all?! plus also what if that persons making out they dont love you back because they are scared? that does happen you know

@dc10 Saying you don’t understand love isn’t intended to be a criticism, and it is by no means a reflection on you as a person. You’ve got a whole lot to look forward to. I don’t know you as a person, so I can’t say for sure that this is the case, but hopefully you can see which parts of my posts (if any) are relevant to your situation – I don’t have a perfect hit rate.

I don’t mean to sound like a bitch…but everyone is sounding a bit bitchy… Nobody can tell another what is or isn’t love. It isnt there “Love” to decide wether it is love. We can never describe love…people often think that when they have “never felt this way about anyone else” it is love… But honestly.. When you are inlove, you know it.

In my opinion firemadeflesh I really dont think anyone wholly understands love mate, well the thing is I am me and I can say it is the case. lol dont even mention the word situation to me lol so not happening, you seem cool though mind if i bud you?

yes you do know it when you are in love and no madifc you dont sound like a bitch thats very true all you just said and I know i am in love, wether i want to be in love is another thing

Good…do you mind me asking why you asked ..were you curious to know what others percive love to be?

@dc10 “I really dont think anyone wholly understands love”
That is true. I am learning more about it every day.
I don’t mind if you add me. I’m glad you like my work.

No I dont mind at all you asking why I asked, and not so much curious as more wanting to know what , how others perceive to be love, partly also because the only way unfortunaly I can communicate with who I am in love with is through the internet,,,would you mind if I add you also madifc? By the way I really appreciate that you asked me rather than tried telling me how i feel like you know, ,and no what you said mate was in no way bitchy what so ever, it was the damn truth , and that should be told a lot more often in my opinion

No its fine if you add me (you will be the first because i’m sorta new) and thankyou.

im new also infact this morning lol only through a total random google search cuz i was arguing with my best mate lmao

haha…well i’m older than you then! lol… i found it through google aswell cuz i search random things when i’m bored

lol yeah so do I search random things when im bored we got something else in common ! oh your older than me?! i wouldnt say so by spiritual age me beauty (said like a true pirate) lol

HAHA…i ment on this thing..i’ve been here longer..but i hadnt really gone on it….(btw is this going to annoy people with talking in a question?)

lol i dont know is it? haha! hmm not saying no more i might just get lynched for being myself lmfao!
:D

so you are a pirate?

well lol i might be i might not be but you see im female so i cant be telling you everything lmao

@MadiFC Talking in a thread is okay if it is in the social section, but you shouldn’t stray too far off topic. Fluther has personal messaging for conversations. We also like good spelling and grammar, especially since we often have to articulate some difficult ideas, so you may want to look out for that too. You’ll get a feel for the place quickly enough. Putting a conversation in whispers is also a good idea, so people can separate it from the rest of the thread. To do this, put two dashes either side of the text you want to be small, with no spaces between the dashes and the text.

Artists, musicians, poets and philosophers have tried to describe love for centuries, but yet none are able to make words convey the state of being that love is. ......yes indeed they have but you see the thing is no words are great enough to describe the real thing in my opinion

how do you put answers in whispers by the way flesh i have no idea lol mind you i say that anyway so i can quote you loud the way i see it

@dc10 I totally agree – words are powerful, but are still inadequate for some things.

This page might help you out with formatting.

Well you say fluther likes good grammer and spelling etc etc, however do you even take into account there may actually be people with learning difficulties, such as dyslexia and aspergers, that kind of thing? Where its something they cannot actually help or are even that aware of?

@FireMadeFlesh thanx, I had no idea how you all were doing it…this is me trying to whisper… i hope it worked

lol no it didnt madifc but it looks kind of like one cuz its smaller and faded still , so i would say its good enough to express a whisper lol certainly better than my attempt !

@dc10 We have quite a number of users with various disorders, and we are quite accommodating. If you disagree with a removed post, you can always contact one of the moderators.

@MadiFC You can test out more formatting by looking at the preview below the box where you write.

cool Thanks(i’m having fun with this :D)

Well you see I have aspergers firemadeflesh so my grammer and spelling may very well not always be just spot on and wonderful, but it dont make me no bad person for it

lol good im glad you are having fun with this, its about time for some fun round this joint lol now go and answer in my cough small talk post about admitting to “the sinful act” or not!?! :P :P :D

@dc10 Of course not. So long as you make an effort, I’m confident you’ll be just fine.

I always try to make an effort, and thanks

I think everyone has their own definition of love.

well you cant really define love though, how exactly do you define that powerful a emotion? you just cant not in my book anyway

When you can’t stop thinking about them, and you would do anything for them.

yes..

Love! Love? Love, love, love!

It’s interesting how, no matter how many times I have answered this question before on fluther, I still keep coming back again and again. Maybe my answer changes? I dunno.

I’ve been in love many times in my life. One thing I noticed is that I usually started to get this really shivery feeling in my stomach at some point during a long conversation with her. It was our ideas and feelings and the excitement that we expressed ourselves to each other that made me feel that way. At some point, she began to really matter. I wanted her to want me, too.

I’ve had that feeling other times and it didn’t lead to a relationship. Some people would call that infatuation, but I would call it circumstances. I don’t believe you only have one true soul mate. I have loved numerous women, including women online.

Online love is perilous, I think. I can get this jittery “this really matters” feeling over the phone (we usually graduate to phone after a while), but that doesn’t necessarily mean there is a future in the relationship, should you ever meet.

Even with both parties being as honest as they can about themselves over the internet or phone or video, and even with exposing every part of oneself, emotionally and physically, there is no guarantee that physical reality will reflect virtual reality very much.

I’ve met a couple of women in physical space after meeting in virtual space, and they did not turn out to be how I imagined them in my mind. In my mind, I imagined their physical and intellectual and emotional selves. In physical space, there was so much more to find out, and most of it didn’t match the image I had in my mind.

So being unable to stop thinking about them, and being intensely present with them—isn’t a guarantee of anything. It’s less of a guarantee online.

Love comes and goes. Sometimes the feeling of love does not survive the novelty of the new person. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t love. It just means it didn’t last very long. It can still hurt badly when it’s over.

What I think most of us want is a love that lasts. Like many loves, it usually starts with that incredible attraction. It is not always this way, however. Sometimes love grows on you. But the test of love is to see how long you can maintain it. That takes decades to find out, and it takes an incredible amount of hard work!

yes and no to a point someones physique will be of importance but it should certainly not be what you are basing a whole relationship on though not if you really actually love someone,, because love doesnt know nothing about looks, its a feeling, and you want to be with that person for who they are as a person, for their heart, their spirit, and i think its possible to have more than one soul mate yes, but just because you are someones soul mate it does not automatically mean a relationship either, for example your soul mate could be a man like you!? and you both be straight so you wouldnt be gaving that kinf of liason would you?! see to me physique is just about attraction and that doesnt really mean love, thats just lust, because when you actually love someone inside out , their physique dont really bother you to the point where you’re like fuck no i dont love you no more, cuz thats shallow and I dont see that as real love no offence. Love is when you really accept someones flaws and inperfections and still feel the same about them regardless. You would give your life for someone that you truly love and i dont think you would hear someone say that truly loves somebody be like fuck no i wouldnt die for you , you ugly bitch do you?? Someones heart and spirit is what really matters because im telling you one thing I know about love that it is very deep and the feeling never actually goes away, not when its real

You will know in 6 months to a year.

You cant really put a time frame on something like that, time waits for no man. The trouble is time passes and theres no way to freeze it.

It’s love while it lasts.

for me personally love is eternal its like time it dont stop

The smell. If you find yourself totally intoxicated by the aroma of someone you are seeing – provided you feel the requisite butterflies and other things that signal very special feelings for someone – then it might be true love.

You believe in life with them.

When you look at him (or her) and it feels like home.

Yeah, there is no defination that can truly capture the feeling of Love… For myself, I had thought I was in love before, but when I met my husband it was like nothing I had ever felt, it was indescribable really… We were engaged within 2 weeks of meeting each other, we were married within 6 Months and we will be celebrating our 14 year Ann. on Valentines day…. with us, there was never a question, never a doubt, never a moment of hesitation in taking the steps that we did. We just sort of fell together as one. My strengths are his weaknesses and vice versa. From the moment we met we were comfortable with each other, it was never awkward and it has alwys been so easy for us to accept eachother as we are, faults and all… Maybe I just got Lucky, but I think that is out there for everyone, but sometimes we get stuck on thinking we are in love with the wrong people and we miss out on that one that is meant for us…. hence all the divorces and failed relationships there are these days.