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Jude's avatar

Could you seriously go through life with no close friends and be happy/stable?

Asked by Jude (31966 points ) September 20th, 2010

Perhaps, you have a SO and family, but, no close friends. Maybe, your sig is your best friend?

I travel with a bunch of teachers to Windsor (Ontario) for night school. Tonight, it was just this one teacher and I (as we decided to attend an evening seminar. ‘Twas optional). Anyhow, the woman whom I was driving with said to me that she has social anxiety disorder and went onto tell me all about it. She also said that she’d be perfectly content on having no close friendships (except for husband).

Is this even healthy?

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28 Answers

Ltryptophan's avatar

Friendship is a funny thing…

Look at what they’re doing with robot seals and elderly people.

Megan64's avatar

I have one or two close friends, that’s all I need. I could see being a hermit. It’s an effort for me to be social. I could totally be the crazy old single lady, except for the fact that I’m married and have two young children.

KhiaKarma's avatar

I was always an extrovert growing up and often had circles of friends with me in the middle. They were all friends, too, because I would encourage everyone to get together. As I have grown older, married, and have moved several times- I would be ok with just my hubby and family. I do have 2 long time close friends and other friends I consider close, but rarely talk to; but I am not worried about making new friends. We have lots of family so it wouldn’t be an issue of not having someone to do things with. I mostly think it’s a chore to make arrangements and plans to get together- although it does enrich my life. Sometimes I get anxious when with other people besides my husband. It’s just so stressful! I do have a few friendships that are developing (only because they initiated), but I do think I would be just fine with just my SO and pup.

ducky_dnl's avatar

I wouldn’t mind having no close friends. I have very bad social anxiety and I don’t even leave my house sometimes because of it. I’m content with being by myself.

Pandora's avatar

Sure can. My best friends are family members. Don’t really have friends outside of my family. I’m very happy. I don’t have to deal with other people crap. Most are just fun aquaintances.

earthduzt's avatar

Having no close friends is not bad at least to me it isn’t. I never had really close friends as a child nor do I now. My parents were in the entertainment industry (father is a music producer) so we moved quite often, never really staying put for more than 5 years at a time. I never was able to fully bond with people because before you knew it we were gone again, and everywhere I moved there were those people at school that knew each other since childhood. I guess it then transferred over to my adult life because even now my closest friends are family, the rest are just acquaintances. I’m sure military families might go through the same seeing how they are mobile quite often.

kenmc's avatar

If I had a girl, I could easily go without friendships. I don’t really have social anxiety. Well maybe a little, but not bad enough to avert me from social situations. But I am a loner. I like being alone. I seek out alone time far more than I do the company of others.

tinyfaery's avatar

I don’t have any really close friends and I haven’t for more than 15 years. I have friends, but I don’t have a BFF, not like I did when I was younger. I think I do fine.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I couldn’t because I’ve known close friendships for so many years. My best friend and I are going on 25 years. No one in my family has been there for in the same way. Guess this is the lot I drew but I can’t imagine having only acquaintances.

katalac88's avatar

This question kind of reminds me of something I was studying in one of my college classes… If you went your whole life without close friends or knowing what a close relationship was like, you would never know the difference. You would think it was normal if it was all you were taught or exposed to. But if you were then exposed to it, after thinking it was normal your whole life, maybe then you would wonder what was wrong with you? Well… anyways we’re all a little crazy right? :)

Winters's avatar

I have sociopathic tendencies and do not understand the concept of relationships. No one is more than an acquaintance and I feel content.

lostinyoureyes's avatar

As someone with SA, I know it took a lot of courage for her to tell you this about herself. SA prevents people from making close friendships most of the time…so if she wants friends, but can’t make them, that’s pretty typical for someone with this disorder. And the fact that she’s telling you this…may mean she wants you as a friend.

Jude's avatar

@lostinyoureyes She also has OCD pretty bad (she said that she doesn’t like the feel of wet porcelain, so, she is unable to get into a tub to soak and does this tapping thing with her hands). She has many irrational fears..

Despite having social anxiety, she did a hell of a job talking (maybe, she was nervous?). She was pretty funny and bubbly. I can see why her first grade students like her.

Mom2BDec2010's avatar

I don’t have any close friends and I consider my fiance my best friend. There’s nothing really unhealthy about it.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Eh honestly no I couldn’t I didn’t even want friends…That were close but I got em..I wish I could live my life as a hermit…Do animals count? Since I’m real close to my dog wookie!

Cruiser's avatar

Close friends are very transitory as they have S/O’s and family too. The older you get the more set in your ways you become and there comes a time where you have only so much left in your gas tank to “be there” for everybody who demands a piece of you. So, whether it is you or the friend, at times something has to give and something…someone does. It’s all part of life! Be happy for them.

Ben_Dover's avatar

You asked, ”Could you seriously go through life with no close friends and be happy/stable?

Absolutely unequivocally…YES.

However, then you go on to change your question radically by adding, ”the woman whom I was driving with said to me that she has social anxiety disorder and went onto tell me all about it. She also said that she’d be perfectly content on having no close friendships (except for husband).

Is this even healthy?

It seems to me that you have two separate and distinctly different questions here. This is a neat way to beat the three question rule.

Frenchfry's avatar

I could do it easily. I have. It is rare as it seems.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

Yup, Doing it right now. My best friends live in California and Utah. It’s an odd survival skill to be able to do it.

YARNLADY's avatar

I have never had more than one or two close friends in my entire life, and I am way too busy with family to have any now.

augustlan's avatar

I could probably survive quite happily all by my lonesome. I do have a best friend, husband, and children, but I’m all about my alone time.

mjbabyy21's avatar

Personally, I would be extremely depressed if I didn’t have any friends at all. Next to my family, they make me happiest. So I don’t know how you could go through life without em.

Ben_Dover's avatar

Being dependent on others for your happiness is a sure sign of co-dependency. You must become a complete and whole human being to live happily with very few friends.

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free_fallin's avatar

I am a loner with only a few close friends and a boyfriend I love completely. I was happy before I met them and I would be happy without them. However, I believe having these people in my life has pushed that happiness to a level of ecstasy I couldn’t achieve without them.

Aster's avatar

Boy. Everyone sounds contented with few or no friends. And is that why we’re on here? We enjoy chatting, laughing and getting to know people without LEAVING OUR CHAIR. Sad, in a way.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

@Aster Good point! I can be more honest here than with some of my other friends. I think a smaller chance of an over-reaction, maybe?

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