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Adirondackwannabe's avatar

How do you know or why do you think you can trust your fellow jellys?

Asked by Adirondackwannabe (36555points) December 14th, 2010

I have a lot of jellys that I really put a lot of trust in and communicate openly and honestly with, but why do they trust I’m what I really say I am? How do you know someone is what they portray themselves as? (You know I’m not an English major). Your thoughts?

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48 Answers

ucme's avatar

Because trust is my middle name…well actually it’s Wilberforce, but that’s not the point XD On a related issue, I have to say I no longer trust a “new” member is exactly that. Way too many secondary accounts about the place for that.

chels's avatar

I don’t, and I can’t – but hey, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Most people I’ve become friends with on here are incredible people with big hearts and great personalities.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Maybe you two have hit on it. I have some jellys I trust a ton, but some “new” ones have left me wondering.

JilltheTooth's avatar

I think, @Adirondackwannabe , it’s like anything else in relationships. If you put it out there, you’ll be rewarded more often than disappointed. I recover from the slaps pretty quickly, and they don’t happen often.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@JilltheTooth Yeah, I guess I’d have to concur.

Cruiser's avatar

I have found more often than not most people on the internet prefer a healthy amount of anonymity and privacy. I respect and understand that. On that note it is really hard to trust anyone you don’t really know.

Seelix's avatar

I’ll admit that I lurked around here for a few days before actually signing up. I liked the vibe I got – that there were caring people here who weren’t afraid to have a good time while helping others figure things out. There are a few people that I feel I can trust, just because somehow I know that we’d be real life friends if circumstances were different. There are a few that I’m leery of because of the recent unpleasantness that’s been going on and the different reactions I’ve seen, but I’m not one to make snap (bad) judgments.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

The one’s you really can’t trust are the Toronto fans.

Seelix's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe – I was going to say something about Sabres fans, but I restrained myself ;)

OpryLeigh's avatar

Whilst I don’t trust anyone 100%, I find it easier having open conversations with Jellies because, I’m pretty sure, none of them live anywhere near me!!! I still don’t give out really personal info but I have discussed things here with ease that would be harder for me to discuss with my “real life” friends and family.

As far as me trusting that they are who they say they are, I really don’t care if they are lying. If they aren’t being honest that’s their choice. It doesn’t affect me because I haven’t met any of them to get too close. I still have a feeling that all of the Jellies that I consider “friends” are being honest. I like the fact that the majority of people here seem normal and down to earth and not strange internet folk that I have come across on other sites.

Jude's avatar

Y’all are a bunch of crooks and good fer nothins’. I don’t trust any of ya. ;)

Except, Lucy.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

You don’t know! That why I carry an M1 Garand everywhere I go! :)
Hey Jude! You too! :))

Coloma's avatar

I think ‘trust’ is rather a big word to assign to unknown peeps in cyberland.

I am a very genuine sort, and I have come to enjoy and ‘trust’ certain folks here in the way they consistently show up in terms of diplomacy, humor, and emotional stability.
BUT… trust, in the truest sense, cannot be attained through a mere glimpse into others realities.

I ‘trust’ @ucme to alwayys show up with humor, but..doesn’t mean I’m gonna mail you a set of my house keys! lolol ;-)

ucme's avatar

@Coloma Thank heaven for that. As I’ve said before a night in your house with all that wildlife surrounding me…i’d be a nervous bloody wreck woman :¬)

JilltheTooth's avatar

Says the guy with a demented forest creature with a badly infected schnozz as his Avatar…

ucme's avatar

Demented!?! He’s just happy Mrs. Scrooge. Besides he’s cute, leave him alone!

JilltheTooth's avatar

sorry… <covers face with hands, slinks away>

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Sorry @ucme , He’s demented. His pupils are 100 dilated.

ucme's avatar

They wouldn’t let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games. Bah Humbug! ;¬}

JilltheTooth's avatar

That was Olive, the other reindeer, who banned him from participating. She didn’t want everyone catching his nasty rhinovirus.

Coloma's avatar


You missed the decapitated mouse and dead lizard this morning, courtesy of the night stalker cats. lol

wundayatta's avatar

I am usually a good judge of a person. Most of the people I get more friendly with seem honest and trustworthy to me. Sometimes people act flaky, or disappear unexpectedly, and this makes me wonder what is really going on with them.

Of course, I protect myself as best I can. Anonymity allows more honesty and trust, I think. That does not necessarily translate to the real world, but for the most part, it doesn’t matter.

And what’s the point of lying here? Or pretending to be someone you are not? Does it give you jollies? A feeling of power? Are you raging against the machine? I don’t know. It just seems pretty pathetic. There’s nothing really to gain by setting up a new identity, unless it’s to double protect your anonymity to ask a question about something you are ashamed of.

There’s really little down side to trusting people here. It’s set up to encourage that—to make sure people don’t get hurt if they don’t want to be hurt. This gives people more security in talking about things they would never talk about in real life.

Response moderated (Spam)
Coloma's avatar

Hi my name is Laurie!
But I’m not tellin’ my middle name. lol

Response moderated (Spam)
ucme's avatar

@Coloma You sick twisted individual you :¬) What did I miss here then? You pop off for half an hour & poof…spammy spam!

AmWiser's avatar

How do you know someone is what they portray themselves as?
You don’t. Hopefully your intuition is on point.:p

Coloma's avatar


My computer is acting up, I am not responsible for random weirdness! lol

chyna's avatar

I’m not as trusting with people on Fluther as I used to be. Basically, if I have known them for a long time and they show themselves in the same light time after time, then I will trust they are who they say they are. I don’t trust newbies any longer.

tinyfaery's avatar

I’m not sure what you mean by trust. There is a total of one person in the whole world that I truly trust—my wife. But, there are maybe 3 people on fluther who I consider my friends, and I have to have a certain amount of trust in my friends. There are another 10 or so people that I believe present themselves as who they are and I can trust what they say. Anyone else is open to scrutiny in my opinion, and there are people on fluther who I wouldn’t trust for all the money on the world.

downtide's avatar

This is the internet – there is no possible way we can know if anyone else on the internet is who they say they are. On the other hand, this is the internet – so in the grand scheme of things, if you’re not planning to meet them offline, it doesn’t really matter if they are or they’re not. As long as what they say is interesting, entertaining and intelligent, it doesn’t make any difference to me if the personal details are true or not.

On the whole, I take everyone at face value and I treat them as though what they say about themselves is true (unless they say something really outlandish, or if contradictions in what they say leads me to suspct they’re telling lies).

augustlan's avatar

I’m just as open in the ‘real world’ as I am here, so whether or not I trust any particular individual isn’t really an issue. I mean, I’m not giving you my bank account number or anything, but I trust everyone enough to reveal the real me, you know? That said, there are a few people here I trust even further, with things like my address or phone number.

seazen's avatar

From PMs. Questions and posts, too – but mostly PM’s.

I have mailed and received mail from jellies.

Over the years – you get to know someone – I don’t need a face and voice, personally – I don’t see well and I’m not a visual learner anyway.

rangerr's avatar

These days, I’m rethinking any trust I have in people.

But I’ve met.. 11 I think Jellies so far, so I know they aren’t serial killers.
I’ve Skyped with a few more, so I know they are real.
And the mommy-types on Facebook I assume are real because their pictures all match up.
Unless they are baby-stealers.

I’ve gotten really personal with a few questions/answers, but I’m that honest in real life usually.. so I’d say that I trust they are telling the truth after getting to know them off Fluther a bit.

Eggie's avatar

For me..its just by checking their lurve score. If they have alot of lurve, then they are known to give good advice cus they wouldnt have such a high amount if they wernt trust worthy with their answers.

seazen's avatar

@EGGIE If they have alot of lurve, then they are known to give good advice cus they wouldnt have such a high amount if they wernt trust worthy with their answers.

A lot = two words. Cus is not a word, at least write ‘Cause. Contractions require apostrophes, as in Wouldn’t. Wernt is cute – but it is, of course, weren’t. Trustworthy is now one word. It used to be two. By their answers, not with their answers; prepositions are everything is life.

This concludes today’s lesson, courtesy of the anal police with low lurve score. I guess I’m not wernt trust worthy.


Eggie's avatar

@seazen….....sigh….get off my back please…lol

JilltheTooth's avatar

@EGGIE : Watch out for @seazen . When he’s not obsessing about boobies (there, I said it, @seazen , should keep you distracted for awhile!) he’s a slippery and unpredictable fellow.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@seazen – Nope.. you’re a rake and a scoundrel.

seazen's avatar

Damn. Boobs. Now I’ll miss work and get fired.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Trust no one. You’re all rakes and scoundrels.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@seazen I’m ok. Just a friday burst of sarcasm. Thanks for asking. How are things in your land today?

mattbrowne's avatar


shrubbery's avatar

I knew I could trust Jellies after talking to them for two years, including skyping, adding each other on facebook and sending cards/parcels. I think that someone putting up a facade for that long is a bit far fetched. That’s not to say I didn’t trust my jellies straight away, cause I did. I’m a very trusting person. I just had to wait to be old enough/rich enough to go and meet them :P and the fact that that took two years was just a “bonus” to know that I could definitely trust them. You think a parent woud let their 18 year old daughter fly across the world to meet people from the internet if she wasn’t absolutely sure?

I think that if anyone really wanted to they could collect my personal details (e-mail, home address, not bank details) off the sites I use, so I don’t see the point in being too secretive to friends I feel I can trust, and quickly do.

It’s definitely easier to tell the truth than a lie, and I don’t see much point in lying on Fluther. That’s how I can trust jellies.

rangerr's avatar

@shrubbery Sorry. I’m really a 50 year old male. I was just in disguise.

Coloma's avatar


Well, you wear it well. lol

seazen's avatar

I trust @mattbrowne ‘s intuition.

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