General Question

Aesthetic_Mess's avatar

How do you stop yourself from crying?

Asked by Aesthetic_Mess (7887points) December 14th, 2010

If you want to cry, but you know you shouldn’t, or know that you don’t have a good enough reason, how do you stop yourself?
I would really like to cry right now from news I just received, but the news isn’t a good enough reason to cry. It was nothing bad, just something personal that makes me sad knowing I’ll never do, but I can feeling a crying fit brewing literally brewing inside me, but I know I shouldn’t cry for this because there is much worse to be sad about. How do I stop myself from crying?

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28 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Breathing deeply helps :)

bobbinhood's avatar

Biting my tongue and willing up a good bit of stubbornnes generally does the trick. But I really think it’s emotionally healthier just to cry more often than not.

bobbinhood's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille Interesting. I barely breathe at all when I’m refusing to cry. I suppose the same tricks won’t work for everybody.

Serevaetse's avatar

I don’t think you should stop yourself. Crying is a normal and healthy thing to do. Of course if you’re in a public place, you should probably go elsewhere to cry, or if you are crying too much for no particular reason, then you just may have depression or some other type of reason that is causing you to cry, and maybe you should seek help. But you shouldn’t be ashamed or afraid to cry.
But what I do to stop myself from crying if I need to, is to think about other (happier, funny) things, look around without moving your head (just use your eyes and look in different directions), or watch a good movie. Also, surrounding myself with friends who don’t know that I am suffering makes it easier to pretend I am ok, and they don’t act different since they are unaware. It makes an easier environment for being happy.

Hope that helped. Haha, sorry for how long it was. (: feel better soon

Jude's avatar

Opposite of Lucille, I hold my breath for a bit.

Cruiser's avatar

Watching Monty Python re-runs works for me.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

You guys really need to breathe! You might not be crying but will draw attention,due to the “blueness” of your complexion! Here’s a helpful hint song for you all ;)

janbb's avatar

Why not cry if you feel like it? You don’t have to weigh whether the news is cry-worthy or not. Crying can be very cathartic; I often wish I were more able to do it.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Shoot, I just go off somewhere as soon as circumstances permit and let it out. Keeping things bottled up will make you sick.

Also, “shoulding” yourself is a recipe for depression. It’s OK to show yourself some compassion. Would you tell a small child it’s not OK to cry if s/he is sad? No, because it’s cruel to deny a child the expression of their feelings. So don’t do that to yourself, either. We’re only human, and sometimes, humans have to cry. Cut yourself some slack; that energy needs to get out.

You know, we have to listen to ourselves when it comes to things like this. They don’t happen in a vacuum. Listen to your body at these times, and what it’s trying to tell you. Your body knows what it needs. /sermon.

After I have a good cry, though, I’m like @Cruiser, except sometimes it’s Python, sometimes Kids In The Hall and sometimes Mr. Show!

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AmWiser's avatar

It’s not necessary to have a good enough reason to cry; crying can be therapeutic. So if you feel a cry coming on and the timing is right, go for it. There is always going be something much worse to be sad about.
Sometimes I put on a good ol’ tear jerker movie, just so I can have a good cry.:D

Aesthetic_Mess's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille Breathing deeply is making me want to cry more

Aster's avatar

Yes; cry your eyes out even if you think you “shouldn’t.” It’s an emotional time of year, dont you know? It’s good for you to cry!! I would never stop myself unless I was in public.

Serevaetse's avatar

@noelleptc haha, good answer (:

wundayatta's avatar

You are harsh on yourself. Stuffing up your feelings. That’s the road to sublimation and eventually, you’ll start acting out in other ways. You’ll also be depressed and not know why.

However, if that’s the way you want to go, I might have a suggestion. First, I’m wondering if you are talking about crying in front of others or on your own? I can see not wanting to cry in front of others, especially in professional situations, or when you are in front of someone with more power than you. You want to save your pride and your power, as much as you can.

One way is to try to get away and find some place where you can be private (the rest room comes to mind) and then work on calming yourself. A lot of that has to do with self-talk, and explaining to yourself that it’s not as bad as you think. Also, it’s inappropriate to cry.

If you can’t get some privacy, then just think about the importance of not crying. You should be able to control it if you remind yourself of the stakes of not controlling it. Usually having a boss there is enough for me to keep a stiff face and to try not to show what I’m feeling.

partyparty's avatar

Try thinking about something else to take your mind off things.
If you feel you really need to cry, then why shouldn’t you?
Nothing to be ashamed of wanting to cry… let your emotions out :)

JustJessica's avatar

When I feel like crying I usually just cry, it makes you feel so much better!

Kardamom's avatar

I’ve never found crying to be therapeutic. I always feel much worse after crying. I hate that feeling.

Afos22's avatar

I man up, and realize that crying will never solve my problem.

BoBo1946's avatar

A good cry is good for the soul. Don’t fight it, just let out and enjoy! It’s amazing how much better I feel when it is over. men do cry, we just hide!

YARNLADY's avatar

If you feel like crying, just do it. There are very few places or times when you can’t, and you could probably find a convenient time to visit the rest room even there.

gina3's avatar

Smile, change your environment and shake it off. You will feel much better.

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Sweetie26's avatar

I know this might sound stupid but, taking a couple of deep breaths helps.

Eggie's avatar

Coming here an talking about it….thats a good way to start. Then pick up the phone, call some buddies and go have a drink doesnt have to be alcohol and have some fun with them. When your done that, go on your knees…..and just let Him know all about it.

MrsDufresne's avatar

“The only way out is through.”
Emotional suppression is only temporary. In other words, if you suppress your emotions long enough, they will surface eventually. When they do surface, depending on how long you have bottled them, depends on the type and severity of their expression. If something makes you want to cry, cry. It is healthier to allow the natural progression of your emotions, than to repress them.

If you just want to subdue your tears for a few moments, then breathing and thinking of something random usually helps.

lonelydragon's avatar

I find that taking a minute long “time out” and going to a quiet place where one can be alone, such as the ever-trusty bathroom, can be a lifesaver (but don’t stay there too long, or else you will end up crying). Take a deep breath, and blink several times to get rid of any nascent tears. Then, tell yourself, “I will not cry right now”, but give yourself permission to cry later. Somehow, knowing that I can do it later on helps me to stay calm for the present moment when having a mini-meltdown isn’t an option.

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