Social Question

Jude's avatar

Do you feel as though you are a pretty good judge of character?

Asked by Jude (32112points) December 16th, 2010

I do. In fact, just reading some of the stuff here that people put up, and getting to know them for awhile, I can see through their bullshit. It’s also easy to spot the people pleasers, the sanctimonious type, the narcissists and the genuine folks.

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49 Answers

crazyivan's avatar

I feel like the best judges of character are probably the people who don’t think they are good judges of character. If we approach people without preconception I think we’re far more likely to see their true character and not just confirm the bias we created based on their appearance, dress, accent, mannerisms, salutation or any number of other meaningless and momentary interactions.

wundayatta's avatar

I guess not. I couldn’t tell you one people pleaser, sanctimonious type, or narcissist. Most people seem genuine to me, although with various quirks and issues.

Coloma's avatar

I think so.

Actually I am impressed with all the gurus coming out of the woodwork this morning.

There are quite a few sagey peeps in this realm.

I am a very genuine sort, of high integrity and am quite intuitive.

I avoid raging narcissists and emotionally sloppy types like the plague. lol

Everyone can have a moment now and then, but, I ‘know’ the difficult personalities around here and I happily give them a wide berth. ;-)

Coloma's avatar

Aaah, and guru @kess arrives like magic! ;-)

kess's avatar

When one stand to judge another, he is infact judging his own self.

But when Is Judge all according to Truth,

Though His Judgement is just indeed Yet He will condemn none.

janbb's avatar

I generally think I am pretty perceptive about people but in some instances my desires for a person to be what I want them to be distorts my thinking. Damned feelings!

Seelix's avatar

I think I’m a pretty good judge of character, though I’ve been known to be wrong on occasion. I don’t make friends very easily, but when I do, I’ve rarely been wrong about them.

Coloma's avatar

Aaah, and guru @Seelix

I am so impressed with sagey young’uns! ;-)

kess's avatar

@Coloma I just had to smile..though I tried hard not to.

Coloma's avatar

@kess

You are adorable, in all ways my fine young sage! ;-)

By all means smile! :-)

ucme's avatar

Oh it is decidedly so! ;¬}

Jude's avatar

@ucme Here, let me shake your eight ball(s).

ucme's avatar

@Jude Grrrrr! Yeah baby yeah! XD

coffeenut's avatar

In real life I’m a great judge of character….online not so much…...so I don’t bother trying.

Summum's avatar

Those people who have a calm and understand life and are at peace within are the lucky ones. Those that have to go through life trying prove or disprove everything are often so judgemental and think it is up to them to correct mankind. Take life as it comes and relax what you say and do here will not change the world. Judge not lest ye be judged and be good to everyone. Yes I know how to see a persons character and to know what is good in their life.

Jude's avatar

I would have to say that my four favorite people (and former jellies) on Fluther are psychocandy (tiny), Pd, Gris and Lucillex3. What you see is what you get. Good people.

partyparty's avatar

Yes I like to think I am a very good judge of character. I usually make my mind up about someone within half an hour, and I am mostly right. OK I do get it wrong sometimes, but not often.
As for online, well who knows – I trust they are genuine and that’s all I can do really.

tinyfaery's avatar

I do, for the most part. But, I am always open to the fact that I might be completely wrong. I am not a sociable and not quick to trust, so when I do finally decide to put my trust in people I rarely turn out to be wrong

zophu's avatar

All I see from my towering mountain of emotional baggage are people who inspire me, people who confuse me and people too distant to make out. Character’s pretty trivial from up here.

Summum's avatar

What is being wrong rarely? Wrong in your eyes? Maybe it just is what it is?

tinyfaery's avatar

Of course wrong in my eyes. Who’s eyes would I be seeing through? Wrong means I thought a person was one way and they turn out to be another. Duh.

Summum's avatar

I see said the blind man to his deaf wife. It is all preception and everyone has their own. So you don’t need to say Duh. Just let things be what they are everything is not right or wrong.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Ditto what @psychocandy wrote, both answers.

crazyivan's avatar

@Summum All things are right, wrong or undetermined.

BoBo1946's avatar

yep, no doubt…. I smell it everyday. Loved Burl Ives comment to Hud in the movie, “Cat On A Hot Tin Roof!” “Big Daddy” said, “Hud, don’t you love the smell of audacity!”

Summum's avatar

And you have the right to believe that way @crazyivan good for you. Smile

tinyfaery's avatar

If I think hey, this is a kindperson and then I see that person kick a dog, it means I was wrong. Yes, some things are wrong.

Summum's avatar

Well if we really look at that maybe the guy had the right to kick the dog?

crazyivan's avatar

@Summum That is correct. And whether I believe it or not, it remains true. I also have the right to believe that the earth is flat but that doesn’t make it true. Fact could care less what I (or anyone else) believes.

Blueroses's avatar

I think my judgement of “character” is pretty good and I’ve rarely had to reevaluate an impression. My impression of sex/age etc, on the other hand, has a terrible success rate. I am often surprised to find my general impression was far off base.

tinyfaery's avatar

The right to a kick a dog? Done with you.

Jude's avatar

@Summum Your comment was as ugly as that avatar of yours.

coffeenut's avatar

dog might be attacking him…If a dog attacked me I’d kick the shit out of it

zophu's avatar

@Summum Everything is as it is, with multiple dimentions of right and wrong. Wrong to kick a dog abusively, wrong to abuse the child who grows into the adult who kicks the dog abusively, right to understand that destructive impulsiveness isn’t all of a person. Right to distance yourself from people you find to be bad for your well-being.

Jude's avatar

You have your socially inept bullshit up there, folks.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@Jude

I suspect you just get off on insulting people. : )

Jude's avatar

“maybe the guy had the right to kick the dog?”

@CaptainHarley Not at all. :)

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

No.I go with strangers.

Vunessuh's avatar

No, I fly all the way from California to Michigan to meet total strangers without a backup plan.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

and I let them in my house to stay for a week XD

wundayatta's avatar

Total strangers? Me not believe you.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Generally, yes, but definitely not infallibly. I feel like I’m a pretty intuitive person and there are times that I just know that I know someone. After talking to someone for a while, I feel like I can pretty easily determine if I want further contact or whether I think they are someone who needs to be distanced. I can’t figure everyone out immediately, but I find I can get a sense of whether they are a genuine and good person vs. someone with issues that I should avoid.

I don’t trust easily and am generally suspicious of people and their motives, especially since I’ve been fooled and almost destroyed by someone’s craziness. I do, however, offer people 100% respect and kindness upon our first meeting – what they do or say after that determines whether that stays at 100% or not. I think I’ve also spent enough time observing people that I can somewhat easily pick out the people that aren’t for me, who are drama queens, who are anti-social, etc.

Maybe it’s just pure luck, but when I meet people from online, I usually feel that I know them well enough to be secure in the knowledge that they’re not an axe murderer.

Aethelwine's avatar

I never have been. It either turns into a great friendship, or I get burned really bad. I’m such a sucker. :/

BoBo1946's avatar

Peace on Earth and Goodwill To All Men And Women! It’s Christmas! Santa is watching, be good folks!

iamthemob's avatar

I think so. Of course, I limit that to my in-person judgments. In terms of judging character based on how people interact on the internet, I find myself unable to determine how much of what attitude they actually have, and how much I’m attributing to them.

I would like to put @Jude‘s “skills” to the test…but I have no idea how…

Jude's avatar

I was in a shit mood, yesterday and apologize for acting like an ass. Sorry.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Jude I’ve never done that…loll Have a great day !

JenniferP's avatar

It is VERY hard to judge people over the internet.

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