Social Question

Jude's avatar

Why do you think that it is, that some people feel as though they can't get enough love?

Asked by Jude (32112points) January 27th, 2011

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

26 Answers

ZEPHYRA's avatar

They never probably ever felt it in the first place. Now even the tiniest display of love coming their way is like manna from heaven!

syz's avatar

I think, because they don’t have any respect or liking for themselves. If they were comfortable in their own skins, they wouldn’t have to rely on others.

Love from others is great, of course, a gift! But you shouldn’t have to rely on others for your own happiness.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Oh my goodness, I don’t think I could ever get enough love. I couldn’t possibly get enough of that giddiness and laughter and internal flame.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Can you elaborate on what ‘they feel like they can’t get enough love’ means?

flutherother's avatar

Maybe because they don’t feel confident it will last and they need constant reassurance.

Jeruba's avatar

Because they don’t believe themselves to be lovable. They question the love that they do get and test it by trying to drive it away. Often they succeed.

And that, of course, just proves it.

Jude's avatar

@Jeruba Self-fulfilling prophecy?

stardust's avatar

Painful experiences lead people to build up walls to try to prevent feeling/experiencing those feelings again. Unfortunately, when we block out the negative feelings, we also block out the positive – knowingly or unknowingly.
We cannot embrace love from others until we truly love ourselves.

bob_'s avatar

Some people are needy like that.

Jude's avatar

@bob_ but, why are they needy? You didn’t really answer the question.

Earthgirl's avatar

I think the most satisfying love is when someone loves you for the same things you love about yourself. Then you feel “seen”. And also if they just love being around you and don’t only love you for what you can do for them. So I guess it’s not about getting enough love, maybe they feel they are not getting the right kind of love. Is it unconditional love they crave maybe? Is unconditional love a good thing?

bob_'s avatar

@Jude Why are tall people tall? That’s just the way things are for some people.

Jude's avatar

@bob_ I disagree. There is usually a reason or two behind it.

stardust's avatar

@Jude Perhaps not all of their needs were met as children and so they’re constantly looking for ways to meet them in adulthood. It’s natural enough I suppose.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

They are afflicted with Paul Rodger’s Syndrome

Poor bastards ;)

kess's avatar

Love is the feeling of happiness and satsfaction you get when you have provided for the need of another.

There is another feeling of satisfaction that comes when another give to you your desires..
This itself is not true love for its oppossite… and most are encompassed with this feeling..

A need for more…this they misconstrue as love…

when you have the heart to give… then you know you are filled with Love.

josie's avatar

Lots of people believe that they should be loved, without understanding how to be loveable.
In order to be loved, one must be valued at the highest level by another.
If one does not have loveable qualities, one is unlikely to be truly loved.

Mikewlf337's avatar

I don’t know. I’m not used to people actually caring about me. I have built walls around me. It is more like a fortress. When I feel loved it is nice but it’s a rare occurance. I am not very important to many people. Most people could care less. I am not feeling sorry for myself. If you knew me you will know this is true.

noraasnave's avatar

In my life, I felt like I couldn’t get enough love and attention from a woman when I wasn’t ‘loving’ myself.

In other words, I wasn’t giving myself the benefit of the doubt with mistakes, talking only good about myself, whether in self-dialogue or to others, or treating myself like a special and unique person in a myriad of other normal ways.

I was never happy and the anger I felt was at myself though at times in manifested at other people or inanimate objects. I hope this helps.

blueiiznh's avatar

This can be for many reasons. In my experiences with this kind of behavior there have been the following underlying reasons:
The sudden breakdown of a significant relationship that they did not see coming.
PTSD
Bipolar
A family of origin that did not show love or use the words I love you. Always kept wondering as a child if they really were.

augustlan's avatar

I don’t know that there’s only one reason, but I’m inclined to say that it’s often because of what @syz said.

Mikewlf337's avatar

I don’t agree with the “you have to love yourself to love others approach”. Love is something that people give to certain people they favor. You can’t earn it. Love is a selfish thing. People love others only to bring themselves happiness or some other form of benefit. If you don’t benefit that person then that person will never love you. They have no use for you.

augustlan's avatar

Well that’s just sad.

Jude's avatar

I agree, Auggie.

Mikewlf337's avatar

I just go by what I experience from other people. I have been used too much and had my heart shat on too much to believe otherwise. There is no such thing as unconditional love and people are quick to take away their love for the slightest offense. They love for their own personal gain.

augustlan's avatar

@Mikewlf337 I’m really sorry that this is the view you have on love. I’m inclined to believe that what you’ve experienced is not love. Love is definitely not selfish. I hope you find the real thing in your life, but I caution that you may not… unless you can change your outlook on the subject.

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