Do some people hate success in others?

There are people all over the place who can’t succeed themselves and therefore envy others and want to see them brought down / discouraged at the very least. And yeah, they feel like losers so they want the contaminate the rest of the world with their feelings. They are the people you need to avoid.

Ah, I didn’t read the last question you asked—the last person who did it for me was a person who stole a paper of mine and tried to pass it off as her own and the administration of my academic department did not punish this person, to my knowledge. She was even given credit for my paper, for all I know. I was basically punished for doing excellent work and looking too “smart” for some people’s tastes.

If you get a great question out of this, I’ll be angry at your success.

I think it’s because it makes them feel inadequate. Someone else doing well can highlight what isn’t going well in their own lives (or their perception of what isn’t going so well). They may not be a loser but its that insecurity that they could be and this other person is doing so well and getting ahead. Sad. It doesn’t just happen in work zones either, it can be the person who is trying to lose weight or give up smoking or something like that and people around them try to sabotage their efforts. Or the woman who is popular so her friends put her down. Insecurity, it’s a killer.

Feelings of inadequacy can be tough to get over, and if the other person’s success directly relates to those feelings, then it hurts more. like if a person feels inadequate because of loneliness he’s going to hate seeing people that are couples.

There are a few people that I have in my life that I can talk to about my plans or successes without any problems or weirdness.
The others will get a short,neutral answer if they should ask what I have been up to or what I’ve been doing.Why bother getting into details if you can’t have a normal conversation?
If I want to do something,I will do it regardless of another’s opinion on it. ;)

Some people are also just ‘Debbie Downers’. Negative about everything, not just your success. I think it’s important to know the difference. The DDs are just being who they are, while those who are specifically targeting you seem more malicious.

My mother is the queen of envy and put-downs of others. More jealousy and negativity can come out of her mouth than anyone I know. It was coupled with bad judgement and laziness. Not laziness in the form of not working hard, because she did that, but in the form of not creating opportunities or being outgoing. She never realized that people achieved things because they worked at it; she believed everything was luck.

Because whatever you have rightfully should be mine.

@ratboy, here, let me wrap it in shiny paper and hand it to you.

I had a schoolfriend whose catchphrase (used whenever anything nice/good happened, to anybody, to strangers, to neighbours) carried on through into adulthood was “bloody typical.” I always told her that’s what will be written on her gravestone, her reply was ”...so….”

Some folk (like her) just don’t recognise that things are rarely given to you, when something good happens… like a promotion, or getting that job you wanted, or a wage rise, no matter what it is.. it’s an achievement because you worked bloody hard to earn it. Sometimes though, it can all be spoiled for you, the joy sucked right out of it, by a bitter “bloody typical” from an under-achieving “friend.” People like that are toxic and should generally be left well alone to stew in their own bitter bile.

Ever heard of backstabbers? I believe we all have experienced a backstabber at one time or another in our lives.

I was at this one place of employment, when what I thought was my neighbor and friend, started to tell many lies about me. He told these lies to a supervisor. I was about to be promoted, in this job, and my backstabbing friend was purely jealous. Because of this idle gossip, I was not promoted. Something good did come out of all of this. My backstabbing friend was called into The I. R. S. for income tax evasion. He is not serving time, but his penalty and interest fees are mind-blowing.

By the time he finishes paying for his back taxes, he will be in a wheelchair.

Of course they do. Whether you like Mike Huckabee or not, during the last Presidential primaries he said an undeniable truth. “You can’t get kicked in the behind unless you’re the one in front.” Not everybody could be rich, but everybody could be poor. That seems to be the motto of so many who hate success just because it exists.

I think that people hate to be reminded how unfair life can be. Hard work does not guarantee success, nor have all who have succeeded worked hard. Until you realize that hard work and success often have nothing to do with each other, you are living in a fantasy world.

On a related note are those whose rewards are out of proportion to their accomplishments.

@Mz_Lizzy I think it’s because it makes them feel inadequate. Someone else doing well can highlight what isn’t going well in their own lives (or their perception of what isn’t going so well). They may not be a loser but its that insecurity that they could be and this other person is doing so well and getting ahead. I can see where that would happen. You have two cousins etc, one is more handsome/pretty but less talented than their more talented relative and if that more talented relative seem to be on the verge of getting noticed and maybe getting an album produced the “better looking” relative can become a dream stealer telling the more talented that their talent won’t get them far because they don’t have the looks to match etc.

@FluffyChicken Feelings of inadequacy can be tough to get over, and if the other person’s success directly relates to those feelings, then it hurts more. It is hard to get over if you keep swimming in that pool refusing to get out. I feel in essence it is who the person feel they are competing against as to if they feel inadequate. If you want to be ”Like Mike” but you don’t have the ability or are able to learn the ability to play as well as he then you should learn from that and go about finding something you can be well at. As @jerv said, ”I think that people hate to be reminded how unfair life can be. Hard work does not guarantee success, nor have all who have succeeded worked hard. Until you realize that hard work and success often have nothing to do with each other, you are living in a fantasy world.” People want to place themselves in competition with Lindsey Lohan, Keira Knightly, etc and if they don’t make it or thought others that made it like Paris Hilton who just happen to be born into the right gene pool or adopted by such and then rode the skirt/shirt tail of their famous parents to wealth and fame they want to be bitter about it. No one wants to be last picked. They do not want to be the last on in there neighborhood stuck in ordinary land while their friends and family move up to better things.

@bunnygrl Some folk (like her) just don’t recognize[sic] that things are rarely given to you, when something good happens… like a promotion, or getting that job you wanted, or a wage rise, no matter what it is.. it’s an achievement because you worked bloody hard to earn it. Sometimes though, it can all be spoiled for you, There are those who have worked very hard, maybe all there lives but their present friends just haven’t seen the effort so when they do get that break it appears it came out of nowhere, as if they were lucky. We mostly attribute such success to luck or as @jerv say ”He/she is a <insert famous family here> of course he/she is going to get the record deal, the part in the movie, invited to the White House”.

It seems just about everyone I know in some small fashion or not hate the success of someone. Rather than using that as a rallying point to say I can at least try harder or smarter than to try to prevent others from getting ahead because it could mean they will be left behind.

@Hypocrisy_Central Actually, trying harder often doesn’t work. Sure, there are some success stories that motivational speakers like to tell and that some Conservatives use to justify calling people lazy, but I can honestly say that I am wealthier, happier, and more successful now that I barely try at all. What sort of message does that send?

@Hypocrisy_Central well said honey and GA although, and I do mean this, I can’t remember ever being anything but happy for other’s good fortune (even strangers I don’t know) but I was raised that way, so not everyone hates others success. Not even a little bit. Maybe I read your response wrong? Im sory honey not feeling so great. <hugs> xx

@jerv “now that I barely try at all….” Maybe you don’t have to try? some people are just really good at what they do, and in that case they don’t need to try. Does that make sense? its a compliment anyway honey (sorry, if im not making sense i think I might have the start of a headache) hugs xx

I’m usually the sole killer of my dreams.. I saw on a bathroom wall today a quote something to the tune of, “all of the things I feared would happen never did”. I’m gonna trust myself a bit more, I think.

But, having been down that path, I can see what you mean. I’ve been called a downer lots of times, but I usually just pick back up again. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t learn from my mistakes, you see, at least, I may for a short while, but then I’m back to them.

The last time someone actually called it to my face was at a party after picking cherries for a solid 3 weeks, with 7 hour days starting at 4 a.m., by a girl who wasn’t part of the crew or seemingly had no relation to the party other than the alcohol, who had gotten her keys locked in her truck. Who was the lucky fella who had a coathanger? You guessed it, and while waiting to see if I could get back and salvage the hanger (they aren’t always a dime a dozen anymore) I was trying to assure the gals that it would work ok, and there wasn’t any reason to try to jimmy the lock on the camper on the back of the truck. The one gal came around and told me not to be such a downer, emphatically. She also told me that useless people weren’t welcome around her. So much for gratitude, eh? Good for them, they got the truck open, but I wasn’t there to see it.

Anyway, I think the point I’m trying to make is that no matter who an individual is, they always have a story, or an opinion that may or may not be welcome to another. Maybe you don’t realize it, but that person may need you more than you think, or you may need them, and pushing them away maybe isn’t the best way to handle the situation.

On the other hand, if you’re just referring to jackasses, I can understand that, too. Folks who get their jollies messing with others may have less of a fun outlook than they seem to, and it’s another thing that’s up to your perception to make use. Come on, expose that other cheek a little. I might just give it a tap.

Not afraid to push buttons, softly..
BV

@BeeVomit My opinion is often not welcome to those who don’t/barely know me, but those who do recognize and appreciate my talents and are willing to tolerate my quirks, like the fact that I coat my cynicism with humour. Yeah, I am a bit rough on people, even (and sometimes especially) those I like.

@bunnygrl There is a reason I work where I work despite the substandard wages. The work environment is one where crudeness and locker room humor is not frowned upon (for instance, many of them say “Good morning” by giving you the finger), and they are willing to put up with a bit of eccentricity because I am good at what I do.
Success seems to be more about behaving a certain way than about competence or hard work. And unlike many who earn twice as much as me (in other words, average wages for a CNC Machinist), I can honestly say that I like my job, so I guess that is a kind of success.

I think Einstein said it best “If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.”