Social Question

KateTheGreat's avatar

Is dating a huge part of the college experience?

Asked by KateTheGreat (13635points) April 7th, 2011

Every since I’ve been in college, I haven’t really dated ANYONE. All I really do is work hard on schoolwork and take part in debate and mock UN. I’m not antisocial at all and I’m a hopeless romantic. Am I missing out on the “college experience” by not dating?

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25 Answers

Talimze's avatar

No, dating is incidental to the college experience. I’ve been in college for two years, and I haven’t dated anyone either. In fact, the idea hasn’t even crossed my mind. It’s not such a big deal.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

It sure wasn’t for me. I remember eating in my car while reading, falling asleep on top of my books at home and writing/typing papers in wee hours of other people’s partytime. I had imagined finding cream-of-the-crop gentlemen who’d show interest in me compared to idiotic high school boys with horrible manners. Ha!

Keep to your studies, they’re a much better payoff than the dating pool and for gawd’s sake, steer clear of the lecherous teachers.

JilltheTooth's avatar

College is primarily about education… Don’t worry if you’re too busy and involved to date, there’s so much going on that you shouldn’t really miss it.

TexasDude's avatar

Not particularly, but it depends on who you are and what your preferences are. I spent one half of freshman year in a failing highschool relationship, the other half grieving its end, all of sophomore year in a weird long distance thing with a chick who is one of my best friends now, and the first semester of this year actually just dating around for a change. And by that, I mean embracing my oozing sexuality and becoming a raging romantic/cassanova, and I’m sortof kidding about that. Personally, I’d feel a little bad if I didn’t go through all of that, but I can’t really say for sure.

I think it’s more important to experience the social aspect of college while you can. You ain’t gonna be young forever. Whether that social aspect includes dating and boys and what have you is totally up to you, though.

Seelix's avatar

I’ve been in a long-term relationship the whole time I’ve been in university. Then again, I’m about 5 or 6 years older than most of my classmates, so maybe I’m not the best to answer this question.

If you happen to make a connection with someone interesting, go for it. But I wouldn’t seek out a relationship just for the sake of having one. I mean, by all means, if you just want a roll in the hay, go nuts (safely, of course). But it’s not the most important part of the experience.

To be honest, I’m surprised you’re not turning boys away left, right and centre, you hottie you!

wundayatta's avatar

It’s not a huge part, but it is a part. Sort of. Depends what you mean by dating. I had a number of loves at college, although only one became a lover. I think that having relationships with other people of your choice is an important part of college. It helps you develop in ways you may not have developed before.

There are colleges where partying is the thing. Lot’s of hookups and no serious relationships. Obviously, this is a relative thing, since even party schools have people in serious relationships. It’s just that the parties get all the press.

But in the end, it’s up to you. If you want to work hard at your studies. Do that. If not, do what you need to to get by, and enjoy the social life. I went to one of the better colleges in the US, and that’s what I did. I did just enough to get by (A-s and B+s), but the main focus for me was having a good relationship with a girl I was smitten by.

In finding these girls, I had relationships with several others, but I don’t think I ever dated. It was always group kinds of things. So, if by dating, you mean a guy asks you out and you get all dolled up, and do the pseudo-romantic clicheed thing, then I would say it’s not a big deal. But if you mean having friends and getting close to some, and falling in love, then I’d say that is important, but not more important than anything else you go to college for.

marinelife's avatar

You’re missing out on important relationship training.

john65pennington's avatar

I dated, without any problems. The first year was a little lean in the dating department, but my second year improved as I learned how and when to study. This gave me some free time for dating. I think the college courses you are taking has some bearing on ones free time for dating.

Response moderated (Spam)
The_Idler's avatar

There’s this great phở place on the London Rd… 1600 tomorrow, can you make it? =}

BarnacleBill's avatar

When I was in college, back in the day, we dated. These days, from the articles I’ve read and the experience of my daughters and their friends, you “hang out.” Women want to date, guys want to “hang out.”

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@BarnacleBill I feel like maybe something from a website called isn’t necessarily the right place to get trustworthy, unbiased, nuanced articles.

BarnacleBill's avatar

I realize that, but the study itself is quite interesting. It’s not exactly skewed the way you would think. 37% of the women who responded to the survey said that they went on more than six dates (guy asks you out, picks you up, pays for dinner) in 4 years of college. This is one of those topics where it takes both ends of the spectrum to arrive at the a whole picture. The majority of women expect to meet the person they marry in college, or form long term relationships. Historically, statistics back this up. A significant portion of the population ends up married to someone they met in college.

There really isn’t anything in this article that blatantly skews to right wing; most of the respondents come out of NYC area colleges.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@BarnacleBill Historically, marriage is something that has changed rather drastically over the past hundred years, so there isn’t a “historically” anymore. It’s new territory.

woodcutter's avatar

It’s pretty much all about the pot.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@woodcutter Hahaha, nice. Haven’t smoked much pot in my lifetime though :P

Thank you everyone for responding!

woodcutter's avatar

@KatetheGreat You’re still young, not to worry.

KateTheGreat's avatar

I’m not really worrying. I’m just wondering if I’m missing out on some “magical experience”.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@KatetheGreat Trust me and @woodcutter – you can’t have “magical experience” without pot. We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine…

KateTheGreat's avatar

I really don’t want to spend money on pot though! Hahaha. Plus, it’d look really bad if I walked into opera rehearsal stoned!

Seelix's avatar

Wow, really? We’re pushing pot now? Isn’t that as bad as pushing anything else?

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Seelix We’re not pushing pot, we’re making a joke about how she put “magical experience” in quotes, thus (accidentally?) signalling drugs. Like special brownies means those really great ones your grandma made, and “special” brownies means pot brownies.

@KatetheGreat Lol, well, if you do, definitely choose your time and place.

The_Idler's avatar

Yeah, right after the Vietnamese noodles… there’s this great Lebanese smoking parlour on West St…. ㋡

KateTheGreat's avatar

@The_Idler Hahaha, what are you even talking about?

Paradox1's avatar

College was both dating (2 relationships 1 year each) and “hooking up” for me (2 years single).

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