Social Question

pshizzle's avatar

How can I help a friend who is being treated badly?

Asked by pshizzle (1100points) May 7th, 2011

Well, I am really worried about a friend. She is really nice, and people treat her badly, just because she acts a little different. She gets treated poorly at home and at school. One day, I just think she’ll overcome her state of being okay, and go overboard. She helps people, but they shit on her. I want to hit them so much! Thoughts?

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13 Answers

KateTheGreat's avatar

Do you even stand up for her?

ninjacolin's avatar

@KatetheGreat has an important question.
Have a look at this video on leadership and how to start a movement.

In this case, you’re trying to start a movement of non-shitting on this person. You have to be a leader about this. Stand up for what you believe and you might be surprised how quickly your rogue behavior snowballs into the new way things work for your social group.

chewhorse's avatar

People can be cruel and most often can not be swayed.. If you take up for her and vow your friendship, this is all she will want.. What you want is for others to love her as you do and if not then at least respect her. Others have their own agendas and according to their ego will not be swayed so unless you advocate for her, your best bet is to assure her that you will never forsake her.

creative1's avatar

All you can do right now is stand by your friend, be her rockā€¦ Eventually what will happen is people will come around especially when they see what a steady friend she has in you. As the above people say stand up for your friend!

BarnacleBill's avatar

Never pass up an opportunity to say nice things about her to others.

pshizzle's avatar

Thanks guys. I really appreciate the help. She doesn’t like when I stick up for her, but I do it anyways. I sit with her at lunch, and in class. That mainly stops the immature ridicule by our peers.

Seaofclouds's avatar

What do you mean by the immature ridicule by her and her peers? Does she do/say things as well? Do you know why she doesn’t like having you stand up for her? What kind of ridiule is she getting?

pshizzle's avatar

@Seaofclouds I made a mistake while typing. I meant the joint peers we share. She likes to be independent, but I don’t know how long she can stay her own rock. People call her ugly, weird, strange, and a whole bunch of nonsensical things.

Seaofclouds's avatar

@pshizzle No problem. I was just curious with the way it was worded. :-) It’s great that you want to stand up for her and that you do. It sounds like she is very non-confrontational and she’d rather just ignore it when those things happen. Sometimes, by responding to people like that, we can actually make it worse because then they want to respond more and it may escalate. It sounds like the best thing you can do is keep being there for her and talk to her about it when she needs to. If this is happening at school, you could also mention it to the school counselors and administrators. A lot of schools these days have strict policies on bullying, so it may be something to look into.

laineybug's avatar

Well, I think you’re doing a good job of sticking by your friend. I know that people used to say things about me, kind of like the things that people say about your friend. My friends stuck up for me, even though I didn’t stick up for myself. Now people don’t say things about me and I’ve learned to stick up for myself.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Mmm well I get this issue…People suck at school…I have this issue sort of, but mainly with the school rather than family. All I can say is that you can cheer her up and be a great a friend to her. But take a stand for her if you need to. This type of stuff can be really hard to over come. Do you know if she’s had any thoughts of suicide, or been cutting herself?

pshizzle's avatar

@Vincent_Lloyd She hasn’t. Her family (her mom) treats her not that much better than the kids at school, and she never sees her dad. Hasn’t seen him in 5 years. She’s a strong kid, for having a tough life.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

@pshizzle Mmm okay well just keep being there for her, that’s all I can say. My Gf is sort of the same..just worse. But I still love her, and I’ll be there for her. I hope things between you and her work out well!

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