Social Question

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Have you ever had anyone make fun of you... *See details for elaboration.

Asked by GabrielsLamb (6186points) October 8th, 2011

Have you ever had anyone make fun of you publically and the way they go about doing it is more of a reflection on them and their own; life, image, and issues than it is on you and yours in truth?

I know this person who takes great pleasure in posting videos that he always believes are making fun of and devistating me, I however never identify with them, and see more of him and his in what he posts with intent to annoy or hurt me and I end up laughing at the fact that he is so oblivious he doesn’t even see the irony or the relation to himself.

Has this ever happened to you? It’s very strange…

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43 Answers

GabrielsLamb's avatar

It’s almost like he is making fun of himself and he doesn’t even see it because he believes it is hurting me?

I don’t get it. I just take great pleasure in laughing at him harder because it is so completely obvious.

FutureMemory's avatar

That is very strange. Sounds like he never grew up…is this an adult we’re talking about?

And can I get a link?

Dutchess_III's avatar

I had a coworker ask me how old I was, in a room full of students. Everyone in there, including my coworker was less than 30 years old. There was dead silence while they waited for the answer. Then general laughter and “I was close!” when I told them.

I was kind of pissed. But then one of the students said, “It’s not right to ask a lady her age.”
Kind of testily I said, “It’s not right to ask anyone their age.”

I think my coworker was contrite and realized that she’d done the wrong thing, although it was never mentioned again. We got past in, no harm, no foul. It was just an embarrassing moment.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Yep, I’ve had that happen, and usually it’s just funny.

@Dutchess_III So…. how old are you? :P Don’t hit me!!

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@FutureMemory No, I can’t do that… That would be perpetuating it and making it all worse. He is an ass and I don’t like to egg him on too much…

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@Dutchess_III It’s strange how things get turned around sometimes… But it is kind of useless when the other party is so completely convinced of their own self worth and status in life, that they fail to see the absolute irony in what they project and how anything and everything we project outwardly actually comes from an internal source of our very own insecurities and fears of self.

That’s why I can laugh at myself absolutely when the thing I am being laughed at for is actually the truth.

This particular person is the source of every lie that has been spread around about me. For some reason, all of the things he has done to hurt me, he still somehow feel justfied in turn to destroy my reputation knowing *I hope? Completely and totally what and who he is.

Maybe he has no clue? Maybe he doesn’t know how much of a joke he is? I don’t know? Maybe that;s the reason he attacks me the way he does?

Because he is everything and all of those things that I have been accused of being, and because he is such a great liar and manipulator, nobody knows it but me. He has everyone else fooled.

So I must be destroyed! LOL

Dutchess_III's avatar

@GabrielsLamb What is his motivation? Is he mad at you or something? Just curious.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

We dated, he cheated and made an absolute fool of me * I say that knowing I did it to myself by choice, but I was RAILROADED and lied to so… I wasn’t given correct information with which to make a rational choice. I was put into a situation that I couldn’t understand because it was just convoluted and a bunch of bullshit that I wasn’t looking to even care about. I tried to make sense of all of it but it was just more lies, more games and it really twisted my horns.

I was going through a life shattering event at the time as well, I had a nervous breakdown and I wasn’t in my right mind. Instead of helping me in any way *As I ran to his every need and want and helped him with everything even when I didn’t have it in me to do so, he only made my neurosis worse and tormented me under the guise of “I love you.” It was a really sick thing… I regreat deeply even ever allowing myself to have messed there. I wish I never met him. He is like a disease I can’t get ride of now.

And when I got pissed off and retaliated… He destroyed my life by taping me, doctoring the evidence and putting me out into the public as this absolute monster, and actually got a lot of people to believe him because he is rather charasmatic and clever… Very techy, and smart, very popular and just a damn megalomaniac and an absolute liar.

Although some of the things he put out there about me were true, he altered the way they were presented and made me look like I was just goin goff like a lunatic but there were actual conversations behind all of it that people weren’t made privy to of course.

I pissed off the devil basically and although I did deserve some of it… I had reasons, and he is just taken it to an absolute evil extreme.

3 years later and he is still at it… with a silent little army of trolls to help him.

Dutchess_III's avatar

So…you retaliated first? Then you guys are pretty much cut from the same cloth. You live by the sword, you die by the sword.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

No… he did sick things to me for a while before I retaliated. I put up with nastiness for a very long time before I did anything at all wrong to him. And what I did actually do back was all words… Meaning nothing and effecting nothing. His ACTIONS are not anywhere near who or what I am, we are so far from the “same cloth” it isn’t even funny! I could never to to him or anyone else what he has done to my life.

But then again Im not a sociopath either so…

Dutchess_III's avatar

Words can be just as hurtful as actions @GabrielsLamb. Sounds like neither of you were acting too terribly mature in this situation.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@Dutchess_III Shamefully you are absolutely correct I am not proud of anything I did or said concerning him, and it became a nasty tit for tat game that he still refuses to let go of 3 years later, and he will never stop, even though I have attempted to make it right and make ammends probably about 10 times.

But I did NOTHING to ruin his life… His life is quite nice actually and he refuses to leave mine alone.

I think there comes a time when two people need to leave one another the hell alone.

My children have been threatened, I have been threatened, I have been accused of all sorts of things that aren’t true yes everything I said was absolutely the truth and merely my own defending myself.

If he refuses to stop then how can I ever stop? And then when I do defend myself from other peoples constancy of negativity and opinion in defense, I get accused of perpetuating it.

He has covered all of his bases and get’s away with it absolutely. He doesn’t even have to be invloved anymore, he has other people torment me on his behalf so he doesn’t even have to deal with it anymore.

How’s that for some bullsh*t

GabrielsLamb's avatar

You’re defending a monster by the way, but that’s okay… everyone does so I am used to that too. I would say that the fact that it’s so many people against one, and the fact that its all a big secret proves the validity of the argument in a nutshell. It is baited, unfair and cruel but somehow manages to be justified anyway… Simply because it’s fun for other people to have someone to destroy and torment.

I understand… ALL MY FAULT… I get it, that seems to be the concensus. I’m well aware.

No, I wasn’t right, but I have attempted to make it right and I haven’t continued on and on and on with it. I have admitted my own responsability and fault…

DO you think anyone has once ever done that for me? NOPE!

I cry foul because it is absolutely foul.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

It amazes me how some people manage to get away with being absolute monsters and other people justify it for them as being somehow deserved and correct and by that acceptance allow them to believe they are justified in their actions.

It amazes me every day.

gailcalled's avatar

How about a restraining order, or some other legal action? This is illegal under any circumstances? Have you no family or friends to help you?

(Or, there’s always the witness protection program)

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Nope… Just me, and my kids, I have no one else in my life, and the law doesn’t care and doesn’t help. Like everyone else, they are on his side.

I would love to go away and change an identity that has never served me very well in life in the first place. No such luck.


Sounds like someone with serious mental issues. I think if you just ignore him all the time, the effect will eventually wear off and he/she will not pester you anymore.

I’ve never had anyone do that before. The closest was this guy who didn’t like me for some reason, and PM’d me with hateful messages. I ignored him and he left Fluther and has never come back.

Is this happening to you here, or in your email? I think that’s weird.

Dutchess_III's avatar

How do you become aware of what he’s doing?

GabrielsLamb's avatar

He has other people do it for him. Saying very specific, and highly personal things on his behalf.

Damaging things… Some of an intimate nature if you know what I mean. THings only he and I would know strangers now know.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Random people, in public that I have never seen or heard of before walk up to me *Sometimes when i am with my kids and say VERY specific things that I won’t even repeat to let me know that they know who I am and I don’t know who they are.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

I have had death threats, I lost my job, I don’t go out much because of it to attempt to avoid it, thinking I have given myself enough time to let it blow over and sure enough I go out and it happens again.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

3 years now.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

He exposed our private conversations, but did it in such a way that his part, the things that led up to those answers and comments were left out of the equation so that there was only my end of the situation which makes people believe that you are a certain way when there were other elements surrounding the evidence that were omitted on his behalf with intent to malign me.


The Internet is one of the most useful and enjoyable things we can use, but when weirdos start abusing it for all the wrong reasons it can cause great trouble and heartache. I wish there was a rooting device that can identify these morons and root them out for good. They enjoy their anonymity and feel protected by it, but I’m sure if we exposed them, they would stop immediately.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

He is using psychological tactics to discredit me and make me look insane.

“When psychiatry attacks the victim’s psychological integrity and credibility it makes the victim more vulnerable to the phenomenon or crime of criminal harassment or psychological warfare and it also conceals the related knowledge.
High levels of sleep deprivation can lead to macromineral deficiencies and acid-base disorders that can result in serious illnesses and even death.
High levels of sleep deprivation can also be used to overwhelm the victims body and lead to cancer.

Psychological Warfare: Credibility

Psychological warfare is an invisible technology that deals with the mind and destroying the victim’s credibility in order to prevent exposure is a top priority. Destroying the victim’s credibility also results in feelings or the belief of hopelessness.”

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Psychological Warfare or Manipulation: In Covert Type Investigations

Individuals can use words, actions, and sounds that will make a target recall memories associated to a specific event. Observers can note different reactions from the target such as fear, surprise, embarrassment (red face), anger, and different emotions. From these reactions the observers can obtain clues to the level of involvement or knowledge that the target may have about a certain event.

A simple example of this is if the targeted individual was involved in an event that has a specific location. The group can say the name of the location, like a street name. If the target does not associate this to anything or any memories, he will disregard the comments of strangers and have no reaction. If, however, the target does associate it to something, he may, or may not, have different reactions.

This scenario maybe repeated several times with different association pointers to get a better view or result. Like taking many measurements and obtaining some kind of average or again, a better view.”

In this way, By this behavior, he has other people bring up personal thing to me, so that I KNOW they know my business, but I don’t know how they know *Even though that is obvious.

It get’s denied of course, everyone denies participation because they were hung up on some backhanded loyalty system that is merely in place to make a liar protected from the truth. If you can’t honestly confront someone, no solution is ever found and therefore the torment can perpetuate under a belief that it is justified. No one ever allows me my say, so they never have to stop.

and if I make an earnest request in honesty to attempt to confront anyone, it is reinforced that I am “Crazy” and I need professional assistance.

It is a matter of a liar, using lies to prove me a liar. It’s almost diabolicle. And when it is happening TO YOU, it is no fun.

If I wasn’t in my right mind, it might have tormented me into much worse reactions than it has. They use specific words and phrases, certain totem if you will to let me know they are involved without ever owning up to it or admitting it.

That’s enough to make anyone believe they are losing their mind. and if he can discredit me and make other people believe by these reactions that I am off balance and nuts, he can then prove everything he did to me justified when it wasn’t.

It was all sick… and I had every right to get pissed off!

GabrielsLamb's avatar

It is in ones best interest to never ever piss off a genius techy megalomanic!


@GabrielsLamb Just ignore ALL his messages, as vile and disturbing as they are, and be RESOLUTE about it. Don’t give in to his mind games. In the end you’ll win.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Thanks Mr.Shineyshoes… That is good advice and I will take it!

I appreciate the help!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Absolutely ignore him. I’d start a log though because this definitely sounds like stalking and harassment. I mean, if he’s revealing intimate things that only you and he know, that’s obvious proof that it’s him.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Oh deffinately it is. I think half of the people involved don’t even know the whole story themselves. It’s the blind leading the blind and its fun for them and they don’t realize how much damage it has caused to a real human life and the lives of two kids too.

It’s like those he said she said web pages that guys set up anonymously when a girl cheats on them or breaks up with them.

I think he does it through X-Box live actually. in the threads or the live conversations. Word spreads fast you know? It didn’t take long for him to do this, but it is too far along now to stop I think?

I have been taking collosal hits random and just bad. I have had to physically defend myself.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@Dutchess_III Thanks to you too… I appreciate you putting up with reading all that. Sometimes it helps when people are just willing to hear you out. It helps immensely actually, more than you know.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yes, well, people are starting to stand up against internet bullying. If you have the means, you need to see a lawyer. (I know what it’s like though, not having the means…it sure is a helpless feeling…)

Joker94's avatar

This guy sounds like kind of a loser. I mean, being a dick to somebody is one thing, but being a dick and posting videos about it? Someone needs to revoke his internet privileges.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Good thoughts @Joker94. Maybe someway, somehow, someway, people can get their internet privileges revoked, like they can get their driving licenses revoked under certain circumstances.

Joker94's avatar

@Dutchess_III That would be amazing. Could you imagine how funny that would be? If suddenly, all the dickheads you knew had their internet usage revoked?

Berserker's avatar

People made fun of me plenty of times, and some of it may have been projection issues. I can’t be sure, and I sure don’t think of that when being humiliated. If I think about it later, it gets all warped and I deform it in a way that helps me feel better about having been made fun of.
Deform it as much as I actually knew of the core of the fun making, as I said. :/

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Joker94 that would be FANtastic! Maybe someday…maybe it has to start with the parents who have the powa’ to actually revoke internet privileges for a time, before the kids move out….

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Well the people who yelp the loudest about the internet not being in need of any kinds of laws or regulations are the one’s who are actively breaking them.

But that would be hilarious!

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Well in all honesty, I do look… but the main reason for that is my picture is still on his page and he wont remove it. It’s like a damn stuffed head he mounted on his wall of dickery and it aggrevates me that it’s there. I don’t have anything concerning him anymore… Not one picture of him remains anywhere on anything of mine.

He knows it aggrevates me so he wont take it down.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Really, more than anything else, rather than this hero worship everyone offers him, I wish someone would instead take the time to sit and rationalize the fact that when someone was recorded… That person doesn’t know it…

That right there shows intent to deviate away from anything realistically genuine or in any way honest.

When you record someone, you do it with intent to hurt them. it’s a preconcieved attempt, it was done BEFORE there were any problems, any issues or any instances of trouble, so I was set up… and it aggrevates me that so many people believed him sight unseen without asking one single question.

“Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.” Even if it shows something, the way it was procured and the reason it was recorded in the first place has to show that nothing about any of it is either for a good reason, or legitimate as an honest depiction of a moment.

There were TWO people in those conversations and the things he said were baiting the responses. And his portion was more than likely removed or altered because if people knew what he said, in his own private moments, they wouldn’t like the truth of him very much at all I didn’t know that at the time… But I sure do now.

I don’t know… It’s all just sick and I wish people were smarter than to believe one person they don’t know, over another person they don’t know, taking the side of the one who knows everything, who controlls everything and I have no say, and no way to show it’s not true because it’s all a big secret… How convienient! He’s just a glorified jacked up bully hurting women and children at his leisure.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Seems to me there should be a face book law where you go to the admins and be allowed to request that pictures of you be taken down….

Kardamom's avatar

@GabrielsLamb There was another Fluther member awhile back that having a very similar situation to what you are describing. You can see that conversation Here

There was a lot of good advice on what to do about helping yourself to stop someone like this. You should read it, first because it’s pretty long and there’s lots of information. But the short version is that you must document everything. Write down a description of how this whole thing started, then take screen shots of the offending websites where he has posted things about you. Maybe one of the Fluther Techy folks can describe how to do this. Then you will need to contact the Admin people on all of the sites where he has posted this stuff and let them know that he has been harrassing you. And keep track of the times and dates when you contact any and all of these people with their names (if you can get them) and the websites that you spoke to the Admins. Keep records of everything that you do, including the police and/or lawyers you’ve spoken with, and include a summary of what you discussed and what they told you. You should also contact your local police and get a consult with a lawyer. There are some lawyers that might take your case pro-bono and there are often “law fairs” that occur several times during the year in which you can get a free consult. Contact your state Bar Association to get a referral. Not sure where you are located, but in Southern California there is a radio station KFI out of Los Angeles that has an attorney who does a Saturday morning weekend show. He has his own site called Handel on the Law which you can go to and get help with legal questions and help with locating an attorney. Even if you’re not in California, they can probably help you to find someone where you are.

When you speak to the police and an attorney, you should also ask them about legally changing your name and possibly your children’s names. If it is as bad as you are saying, you might need to consider moving and changing your identity. But I do not know the laws regarding doing that. They obviously can’t be changed for fraudulent purposes, but you need to discuss it with the police and a lawyer. But arm yourself with proof first, by documenting everything that you can. Here is a site that deals with Legal Name Changes

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