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rebbel's avatar

Question about au naturel beauty and make-up beauty?

Asked by rebbel (24814points) October 23rd, 2011

My girlfriend will take a left turn if I tell her that “really, we should go left here!” and she’ll put her hand in a box if I tell her that “no really, there is no spider in it…”
In short, she believes me.
Now, regularly I’ll tell her that she is beautiful sometimes she’ll ask how she looks (when she get dressed for an evening out, etc.), other times I tell her without her asking.
I tell her that I even like her looks more without her putting make-up.
She loves to hear that, obviously.
Then we pull the door closed and go out right after my au naturel declaration and then I notice she put some make-up on after all.
Now, she explained to me that she trusts my opinion that she looks a beaut but she needs to put at least some camouflage and/or eye-liner, to feel (completely) secure.
So I ask all Jellies who wear make-up: Does your (in)security weighs heavier than someone elses your partner’s or friend’s opinion?

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15 Answers

Judi's avatar

Maybe she wears it because of how it makes HER feel, and not how it makes YOU feel.

rebbel's avatar

@Judi Definitely that is the case.
I have not forced her to wear or not wear make-up, clothes, shoes or whathaveyou…, if she wants to wear a purple ermine robe, or a dress made of garbage bags…, it is up to her (obviously).
She’s not a trophy that I show when we walk hand in hand, she is beautiful to me in more ways then her physical beauty.


I remember watching on Oprah an episode where women in the audience were challenged to go without any make-up for three weeks, at home, at work, at social functions, etc. All the women who participated had an extremely difficult time doing it, because their make-up was their security blanket, and they commented how they needed to wear it to have self-esteem and feel good about themselves. So yes @rebbel, I think a lot of women do it because they feel insecure, not because of what their partners think. Appearance is so much more of an issue for women than it is for men. Unfortunately, we live in an “appearance” society——as evidenced by all the pretty female faces in the media, magazines——weight loss ads, make-up ads that scare women about aging and how to prevent it. And some of the biggest criticisers are women themselves who market on t.v., compare themselves to other women, etc. No wonder so many women feel insecure about going out without “some” make-up. Can you blame them?

chyna's avatar

I don’t think it is so much an insecurity as just something she is comfortable with doing. My mother would not leave the house without lipstick. I do not wear lipstick but I wear eye makeup. Even if I’m not going to see anyone, it is a part of my routine.

Luiveton's avatar

Listen, it’s just a ladies thing. No matter how much men try to explain it on here, let alone some attempts from women, it’ll always be something inside us, that we can’t describe.
After all, there is a reason men differ from women.

Seek's avatar

For me, makeup is just part of the dressing-up costume.

I don’t wear makeup on a daily basis, but I wouldn’t go out somewhere nice without it, any more than I would wear a denim jacket instead of a wool cloak with my Renaissance Festival garb.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’m female and in my experience, men will give compliments that are about 40–60% true whereas the nitpicking or criticizing they do about a woman’s looks are a lot more than that. It’s no wonder women want something that feels like “armor” rather than enhancement.~

Your gf knows you love her and she might be assuming you’re trying to make her feel comfortable and secure more than telling her a truth when it comes to physical looks.

Earthgirl's avatar

I love it when a man that loves me tells me that I look just as beautiful or indeed more beautiful to him without makeup than with. But I take it with a grain of salt, lol. First of all, he is biased isn’t he? He loves me. That means he sees my inner beauty as well as my outer beauty.
When I was younger I wore very little makeup. The “natural” look was in. Well, I have a quip about that which goes, “Natural beauty is for natural beauties!” Ok, it’s not so clever, but what I mean is, there are some women who look gorgeous without any makeup at all, the rest of us feel like we need a little help to look our best. I don’t think it’s just insecurity either. If one doesn’t put on heavy makeup but just enhances slightly the beauty that is there I think you can see objectively that you look better. Sometimes when I have gone without makeup people actually will tell me I look “tired”.

Pandora's avatar

Heres a fact of life. The better looking you are, the better service you will recieve. Of course this is not always the case but its enough where it can make a difference in your day. I noticed without make up, I am becoming virtually invisable as I age.
When I wear make up and look well put together and go out with my husband than I am addressed before he is by waitresses and clerks. If I go out with my husband and he is dressed well and I go all plain jane but still dress well, then he still gets the attention.
My husband loves me to be plain as well, but I trust is because his love for me has passed the whole make up thing. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I even like myself better without make up but if putting some on will get me faster service than I will put some make up on. :)
For me its just looking more put together than just thrown together at the last minute, as if I’m got ready to just go to the beach or to throw out the trash.
In some ways, it is like putting on a mask for the public and being your real self at home.
In public, I am always so serious and guarded. At home, I can be a huge goof ball, childish, serious, relaxed, sexy, saintly or devilish. Make-up or no make-up, I’m loved and accepted as I really am.

rebbel's avatar

Thanks, gals and guys, you told me some points that I hadn’t thought of or did think of but not deep enough, and some points that we also discussed together and now I see more clear.
I learned something tonight…., thank you for that!

Pandora's avatar

You’re welcomed

Earthgirl's avatar

rebbel You’re welcome!

CaptainHarley's avatar

Makeup, to many women, is like armor to a knight… they feel they need it to face the world. My personal opinion is that every woman is beautiful in her own way, and beauty includes things like strength of personality, non-reliance on material things, compassion, intellect, etc. But my wife ( whom I consider to be a beautiful woman all the way through ) still wears makeup. It’s a woman thang. : )

Fly's avatar

I essentially always wear makeup because it honestly makes me feel good about how I look, but I don’t think that feeling is mutually exclusive to self esteem. For me, makeup is also a part of fashion and one’s image, which I personally put a lot of effort into. While nearly all guys, and many girls, have no problem wearing t-shirts and ripped jeans when they go out, I never do so. I never go out dressed as what most people would consider to be “casual.” Just as I would not leave the house in sweatpants, I would not go out without makeup. Just as some girls have no problem going out in a sweatshirt and flip-flops, some girls don’t see a problem with going out without makeup. That’s just not what I consider to be “presentable” or what I want my image to be. I mean, I wouldn’t wear a dress and heels but leave my hair messy; it just wouldn’t look complete! The makeup just adds to/completes my personal image and fashion sense/statement, and that makes me feel good about myself.

augustlan's avatar

When I wore makeup daily, I did it because I thought I looked better with it, than without. I still think that, I just don’t care so much about it anymore.

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