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Aster's avatar

What would you do if your SO did this then minimized the danger?

Asked by Aster (19974points) October 30th, 2011

My husband and I were leaving a medical building two weeks ago. He is diabetic and always, always has one or two naps after breakfast but this day he missed them. We were walking down concrete steps to the car and he suddenly collapsed. He at first thought he just tripped; then he told his son his leg turned to Jello and he went down. He THINKS he got right up but he never made a sound and stayed down 4 seconds, in shrubbery, not moving a muscle, then got up and we drove home. He never made a sound after he hit the ground; none. He never acted dizzy when he stood up. I don’t know if he had a stroke or was dehydrated as he IS hooked on soda. He is furious that I am now scared to drive with him, wont let me drive and says he refuses to be treated as if he is frail. He is NOT frail at all; but when a person falls down don’t they make some sort of SOUND? He laid there looking very comfortable in his stomach as if he were napping. He says I’m overreacting; I say he’s underreacting. What would you do/say? He is on hypertenson meds, cholesterol meds, insulin and naps 4 times a day or 5. He said the doctor ignored the incident when he reported it.

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20 Answers

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No way I would get in the car and let my SO drive after what just happened. Do you believe he reported the incident to his doctor and if he really did, do you think he reported it as you observed it? I will bet not. I’d contact the doctor, maybe by email and give your version of what happened since you saw it all.

Your husband might be afraid and a little embarrassed, maybe he doesn’t want to admit the seriousness of this in order not to scare your son but it comes down to not being safe and not being fair.

bkcunningham's avatar

I would keep a very close eye on his insulin, blood sugar levels and blood pressure. I think it is odd that he needs to nap twice after breakfast. Something isn’t right, @Aster.

Aster's avatar

@Neizvestnaya our son? What son? Oh; you mean HIS son. Thanks; I will call his doctor but when he finds out Im in big trouble.
@bkcunningham I dont know how to keep an eye on his meds. He takes care of all of that on his own. Sometimes he only takes one nap after breakfast. Diabetes makes you tired after a meal so with three meals that’s three naps. Then he often takes one about 7 or so (pm) then goes to bed at nine or ten. It’s scary; he has never seemed this angry at me.

Cruiser's avatar

I would insist he get an exam and full work-up from his doc especially a full review of his meds and overall health. I support your level of concern here.

Aster's avatar

Thank you, @Cruiser. He has had all that and more and I appreciate your support a lot. If I had to guess I’d say he was dehydrated since he has a severe soda habit and had none all morning.

Cruiser's avatar

@Aster Meds especially when hydration is not on par can have a huge impact on people at odd times and places. Your husband is lucky to have you looking out for him.

bkcunningham's avatar

@Aster, does he keep a record, or does his glucose meter, keep a record of his blood sugar levels when he tests his blood throughout the day?

What kind of soda is he in the habit of drinking, @Aster? Diabetes is a very serious chronic disease that can lead to many, many other health problems. You should be very concerned.

Ups and downs in his blood sugar levels may be part of the problems with him needing naps throughout the day, @Aster, and with him fainting or passing out or whatever happened. It really isn’t normal for a diabetic to need naps throughout the day.

Aster's avatar

@bkcunningham He keeps no records at all and tests about once or twice a day. He drinks Diet Orange soda in huge mugs. He has napped for most of his life; he even had a secret bed in a storage room when he was in the Navy in 1965. His father always napped right after breakfast.
We learn a lot on here, don’t we?

chyna's avatar

If at all possible, you need to be more pro-active in your husband’s health care. I would get one of those pill boxes with the days of the week on them and if he takes pills more than once a day, get that type of box. Why? Because at some point, you are going to have to be his voice. With all that is wrong with him, you’ll be taking him to appointments, the doctors will be asking questions that he won’t know the answer to or can’t remember and you have to speak up for him. For now, I would insist he get a full blood workup at the very least. All of his medications could have a weird interaction with each other that the doctor’s don’t know about.

Aster's avatar

GA @chyna but he is a “hands off, Aster” type of guy . His mother was controlling and a perfectionist and it has made him imagine he’s quite independent. He had blood tests, but I don’t know what kind, within the last month. He only takes 2 kinds of pills. Then he does insulin shots.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’d run the risk of angering him when he finds out you’ve contacted his doctor. After all, he was fine to risk you life and his son’s life by insisting to drive the car with you all in it. I’d be mad just about that.

Aster's avatar

His son was not there. He lives in another state. After he got up off the ground I was stunned and did not even think about danger. I just hopped in the passenger side and we came home. I was thinking about telling his grown son about all this but , being the second wife, it seems out of line. My H told his son about it anyway , that his leg turned to Jello which is a changed story of what he had told me which was he tripped down the steps. When you trip down steps you make some sort of noise; I just know this is true. And he never made a sound.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Sorry Aster, you mentioned a son in your OP, I assumed the son was there at the time. Being 2nd wife doesn’t mean it’s not your place to speak up in concern over a loved one, especially when what your hubby does involves you too. Tell his son.

bkcunningham's avatar

@Aster, we do learn a lot here. lol My mother was a diabetic and spent the last five years of her life in renal failure. She was stubborn and very independent too. Sometimes she followed her diet and exercised and really did what she knew she was suppose to do. Then there were times when she didn’t follow her diet and let herself gain weight and didn’t care for herself like she knew should. I loved her regardless and miss her everyday. Some people are just stubborn cusses.

Aster's avatar

@bkcunningham Oh, did she take dialysis? That’s no way to live so I hope not. Your last sentence was so true.

bkcunningham's avatar

She did, @Aster. Three days a week, between four to five hours a day for the last five years of her life. It is a hard life.

Aster's avatar

I am so, so sorry . I know it was a nightmare. But now, she’s happy and well.

Coloma's avatar

Sorry to hear of your stress @Aster

Some good answers, so I don’t have anything to add, just well wishes! :-)

Aster's avatar

Thanks, Coloma. He is still angry and thinks I’m impossible so…...off to television.

bkcunningham's avatar

Thank you @Aster for worrying about your husband. Keep a watch on him and do what you can. Thanks for talking about my Mom. That felt good. Happy Halloween. Tell your stubborn husband no treats, only tricks from you. ; ) If he can stay awake. Keep smiling.

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