Social Question

filmfann's avatar

How do you deal with racist comments from family members on Facebook?

Asked by filmfann (52450points) January 3rd, 2012

My troubled niece made a comment to a friend of hers, saying “I love your white lives!”
I written her that such comments don’t fly with me.
Am I overreacting?
How do you deal with comments from family members that you find offensive on a social site like Facebook?

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25 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I would speak up. I see nothing wrong with that.

JilltheTooth's avatar

I would mention it in a private message (you didn’t say if it was a public post or PM), no need to make her defensive.

marinelife's avatar

I take them off my new feed and privately message the person.

blueiiznh's avatar

Same way as if they said it face to face. Tell them how it makes you feel.
One of the very reasons to not be on Facebook.

tedd's avatar

Personally, I call it out if it’s particularly horrendous. This person has always felt this way, they just actually broadcast it thanks to facebook… and there’s no way I’m going to go on letting them think that is normal to everyone.

But I’m also very picky about who/what I choose to call out. No use throwing a fuss over everything.

newtscamander's avatar

If ít wa publicly posted, there is no reason not to react, especially if something makes you uncomfortable. If your niece openly expresses her opinions, why shouldn’t she be confronted with other people’s opinions….

AnonymousWoman's avatar

I don’t like the idea of parenting everything on Facebook, especially considering I’m not even a parent myself. I might say something about a racist-sounding comment, but I might not. I am not a racist person, so I don’t personally view it as my problem. I’ve gotten into arguments about things that were said on Facebook before and I’m tired of it.

Your niece sounds like she was joking. I don’t know the context, but that’s what it sounds like to me. I think I would have left that alone if I was in that situation… or said something playfully back to show I wasn’t offended.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I don’t think you did anything wrong providing that you messaged her privately (rather than voice your concerns on her wall for everyone to see) but, ultimately, it is up to her how she chooses to conduct herself on Facebook and if you are regularly unhappy with what she says on there maybe you should just hide her statuses. To be honest, I’m not really sure what “I love your white lives” is supposed to mean!

Blackberry's avatar

Correct them.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

“To be honest, I’m not really sure what ‘I love your white lives’ is supposed to mean!” – @Leanne1986

Yeah, same here. It sounds like a joke to me, and possibly even an inside joke…. but it’s not clear what it even means. The quote by itself sounds way too vague.

Blackberry's avatar

@AnonymousGirl @Leanne1986 I assumed it meant a non-white person alluding that most white people (in America) have great lives or great opportunities. It’s hyperbole and don’t think they were serious, because that is so stupid I assume it was a joke.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

^^ I understand. I didn’t read that far into it, though. :/ I don’t even know where the asker lives, or where his niece is from, or anything about her really, except that she said that to her friend. There’s no context, nothing… just that the asker got offended and said so.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@Blackberry See, I’m a white(ish) girl and if one of my black female friends said that to me in a jokey manner I wouldn’t find any offense in it what so ever. If a complete stranger said it to me I would question why it was said because, you don’t assume someone’s life is good just because they are a certain colour if you don’t know anything else about them. It sounds to me like there was some kind of inside joke going on like @AnonymousGirl and, if that is the case, I am not going to judge the girl or scream racism because it could be innocent fun between friends.

jrpowell's avatar

No need to deal with them. Just block them.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Never had the pleasure. Generally speaking if I see something racist more than once from more of my friends on FB, they’re gone.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’ve not had an issue like that yet but would likely respond similarly as you did and also let that person know I will delete anything I don’t care for.

YARNLADY's avatar

If I had a facebook account, and a family member used that kind of language,

I would say I don’t appreciate comments like that, and perhaps block the person from my site.

TexasDude's avatar

What does that even mean?
Are you sure it wasn’t a typo where they somehow meant to refer to “white lies” or something?

Either way, the solution is simple: remove comment
Or if you’re really troubled by it: block user

filmfann's avatar

@Blackberry My niece has a history of white supremecy. She seems to think that since she is a blue eyed blonde that her background is superior, even though her mother has pointed out the gypsy/Bohemian ancestery we have. She is dead serious.

augustlan's avatar

Well, we probably all know what I would do, by now…

Seriously, though, I did learn from that ^^ situation. I’d still say something, but I’d do it via private message rather than publicly.

Blackberry's avatar

@filmfann Oh, wow. I was thinking the complete opposite. That is…...unfortunate :/

OpryLeigh's avatar

@filmfann I still don’t understand the meaning of “I love your white lives”. If she wasn’t white herself but said it to a white friend then it would make sense. Is it similar to saying “I love your white self”?

Blackberry's avatar

@Leanne1986 That’s what I think, but who knows. It’s still so ridiculous that you wonder why someone would think that lol.

sydsydrox's avatar

If it were, like, REALLY racist, I would just ignore it and start a whole new conversation, but if it is not really that racist, I would just go with it.

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