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Charles's avatar

Is "Love at first sight" real or fantasy?

Asked by Charles (4823points) May 25th, 2012

Do you buy the whole “love at first sight” notion? Can you only love someone if you really know them? Do you have to get to know the person to determine if you really love them or not?

Are the only things “at first sight”, physical attraction, infatuation or even lust? Is it really only attraction at first sight rather than actual love?

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37 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

The French call it un coup de foudre, which is as good an explanation as any.

(A lightning strike)

Michael_Huntington's avatar

It’s bullshit.

janbb's avatar

My daughter-in-law says she felt happiness the first time she saw my son. And I have met men who gave me a sense of comfort and pleasure when I first met them. I think it can be an indicator of chemistry, but not an indicator of whether it can become a true loving relationship.

fremen_warrior's avatar

Idk, I’d have to see it to believe it.

picante's avatar

I’ve experienced the phenomenon, and it is a crazy mixture of chemistry, psychology, emotional neediness (perhaps), etc. I don’t think it’s love, but if the attraction is mutual, if the friendship and romance develop, if there is enough mutual commitment to make it last, then it can grow to be love.

In my case, it only led to an insane, confusing and ultimately heart-breaking experience. Love at first sight; despair in final plight.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I never did but then it happened to me and I had 4 wonderful years with that person.

zenvelo's avatar

i think there is definitely a “love at first meeting”. I met my girlfriend on-line, and we had some nice meals, and then a phone call, but at our first meeting I was amazed at how well we meshed and seemed to have found a long lost part of ourselves. Plus she was even more beautiful in person.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Both sets of my grandparents had love at first sight happen to them ;)
My husband claims this with me.

sakura's avatar

I agree with @zenvelo When I met my hubby the sparks were pretty immense, not just lust, but we just seemed to click! So I’d like to think it was love at first sight!

tedd's avatar

Several times in my life I have locked eyes with, or seen from acrossed the room… a beautiful young lady that I had to know and date/fall in love with/etc/etc…. But many other times I’ve fallen just as in love with someone I did not have that initial attraction too… and said relationships with “first site” girls didn’t really work out… Soooo, take from that what you will.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

It’s real. That’s how I met my husband and here we still are, more than 13 years later.

wundayatta's avatar

I believe it’s possible. I’ve never had the experience though. Generally it takes me a few meetings with someone before I start feeling that “I have to be with them” feeling. I’ve met people and known right away that something could happen. Once, it even did happen, later on. But it didn’t get all wrought up until it started to become clear she was interested, too.

There are women I get crushes on, just from how they look. Nothing has ever come of that, though. It’s all a fantasy on my part, as far as I know.

But I think it is possible that I could get a crush on someone who gets a crush on me, and we pick each other up, and are in bed by the night, and never want to part after that. Possible, theoretically. The chances of that ever happening are very small because I’m really not available.

NostalgicChills's avatar

It’s probably possible. I mean, the way I see it is that It might just be a really REALLY strong attraction, and it could eventually turn into love, but who knows.

King_Pariah's avatar

Love is a fantasy

YARNLADY's avatar

I believe in love at first sight. There are many possible definitions for love, and the initial attraction can grown into a long term (real) love, it has for me.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Load of hogwash is what it is!

ucme's avatar

This is a well worn cliche that some couples use to express their relationship, served with a large portion of hindsight & most likely viewed through rose tinted spectacles.
I never had this experience with my wife, took all of, ooh… hour or so ;¬}

josie's avatar

Real. Absolutely real. I can testify to it.

linguaphile's avatar

It’s real… what differs is whether it lasts and survives the challenges of daily living.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

^^ Too true. My husband and I have made it a long way since that first night, despite all the ragging and nay-saying from his asshole friends. One of those asshole friends is now in awe of our relationship and is my husband’s business partner, LOL. Weird.

righty's avatar

Real for some, fantasy for others.

El_Cadejo's avatar

For me it was real. We’ve been together for over 6 years now and just got engaged a couple weeks ago.

thesparrow's avatar

I really don’t think that I had love at first sight with my boyfriend.. I could be wrong, but it just didn’t seem that way.

gailcalled's avatar

@uberbatman: Well done. That is uberbatman news.

LezboPirate's avatar

I do not believe in love at first sight. Maybe because it has never happened to me. But I do believe in hate at first sight, so I suppose the other way could be possible. I always have to hate someone before I love them. Maybe I’m weird..

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downtide's avatar

I think it’s real but I think it starts off as lust and turns to love later. I’ve never experienced it but my partner (claims) he fell in love with me at first sight.

hearkat's avatar

I have felt an instant connection with a numebr of people “at first sight” – with no prior interactions – and turned out to have things in common with them. I think that we sometimes recognize things in other people’s appearance that give us a sense of comfort or familiarity; or – as @LezboPirate says, a sense of distrust or aversion.

The one time I experienced an instant romantic connection with someone, it wasn’t a head-over-heels lust; rather, it was a feeling that I had known him for my whole lifetime within the millisecond that our eyes first met. Unfortunately, the context was a support group for kids whose parents were divorcing… so being the first relationship either of us had soon after our marriages ended, it was destined to fail. Under different circumstances, I feel that he and I were very compatible and might have had a strong relationship.

All’s well that ends well… I ran into him a couple years later and he had a ring on his finger. It took me a while longer, but I now have a ring on my finger, too. My fiancé and I met on a social forum (not a dating site) and struck up a friendship. We met as friends a few times and the compatibility was strong, and it didn’t take long before we decided to become a couple.

@uberbatman: Congratulations!

jazmina88's avatar

Yes, my friends told me about this trumpet player in U of MEMPHIS marching band., We were at a band party over 25 years ago and met. He is still a close friend today.

@uberbatman I am uber excited for you!

janbb's avatar

Uber-Mazel Tovs @uberbatman !

El_Cadejo's avatar

Thanks guys :)

mattbrowne's avatar

Fantasy. Because we also need odor and touch for love.

thesparrow's avatar

Who on earth really knows what one needs for love. It’s such a vague concept.

wundayatta's avatar

You make it up as you go along.

thesparrow's avatar

What about when you’re pretty sure you hate someone, but you love them too.

wundayatta's avatar

That is pretty confusing, isn’t it? From what I’ve read, hate and love, both strong feelings, are often combined about some object. It’s not like you’re going to have love and indifference about the same person or object. But when you feel strongly, that feeling can easily go positively, if things work out, but negatively, if you don’t get what you were hoping for.

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