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Shippy's avatar

Have you found that life has a funny way of working out OK?

Asked by Shippy (9889points) September 11th, 2012

I am such a worrier, when times get tough, I tend to fantasize all the toughest scenarios. When I look back I do see that things were kind of OK in the end. I am not talking about major setbacks, or maybe I am, but mostly the small stuff and/or general life stuff.

Have you experienced this? If so did it change how you perceive problems and life?

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23 Answers

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Yes, I’ve learned that generally, life is okay. Things have a way of working out. I’ve had some major setbacks in my life, but in the majority of situations, things are okay. :-)

abundantlife's avatar

Everybody goes through it. Life sometimes can be rough, other days it can be smooth. We have to accept everything that comes with it.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

My partner is very much like this. He has a Strength called Deliberative. Here is the definition:

You are careful. You are vigilant. You are a private person. You know that the world is an unpredictable place. Everything may seem in order, but beneath the surface you sense the many risks. Rather than denying these risks, you draw each one out into the open. Then each risk can be identified, assessed, and ultimately reduced. Thus, you are a fairly serious person who approaches life with a certain reserve. For example, you like to plan ahead so as to anticipate what might go wrong. You select your friends cautiously and keep your own counsel when the conversation turns to personal matters. You are careful not to give too much praise and recognition, lest it be misconstrued. If some people don’t like you because you are not as effusive as others, then so be it. For you, life is not a popularity contest. Life is something of a minefield. Others can run through it recklessly if they so choose, but you take a different approach. You identify the dangers, weigh their relative impact, and then place your feet deliberately. You walk with care. Source

Does any of the above sound like you?

Shippy's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer It does yes, oddly though I present as rather dizzy and a huge risk taker. You have given me some food for thought.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Having Deliberative as a Strength doesn’t mean that risks are avoided…just that there is an expectation that there will be setbacks and a comfort in mentally preparing for them. And based upon your upcoming move, the Deliberative is probably in high gear. It’s a big step.

Keep in mind that you also have other Strengths. You may be relying on them more than this particular one at present.

Pandora's avatar

In my 51 years worth of experiences. Yes. Unless you live somewhere where there are war crimes and famine. I try to hold onto those thoughts when I begin to worry.
Yes, it did change how I think about a lot of things. Every once in a while when life gets a little difficult I remind myself that control (of our lives) is an illusion we create in our mind, and survival mostly depends on one being able to adapt and focus on the good things that remain.

augustlan's avatar

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Overall, though, it must be okay… after all, I’m still here experiencing it! :)

wonderingwhy's avatar

Been there done that. It helped me learn that life is what you make of it; prepare for the worst, hope for the best, give it your all, and never let the odds alone be what stop you.

captainsmooth's avatar

My tidy little world was destroyed a few years ago when my marriage fell apart. I was devastated for the better part of a year.

It took quite awhile for me to feel better. With the love of my children, family and friends, life got better.

Now, when something negative happens, it isn’t such a big deal. Things work out, not always the way that I wanted, but I still have what is most important to me: great family and friends, and amazing experiences with all of them.

marinelife's avatar

I have stopped worrying if at all possible I think of it as wasted energy.

Shippy's avatar

@marinelife Care to share how? I certainly will listen to that lesson :)

wundayatta's avatar

It’s not so funny. It is to be expected. What else are we going to do? Commit suicide?

It has to do with how we look back at the past and tell the story about how we got to where we are. Everything had to happen the way it did in order to get here. That means that even the bad things had to happen. Which means they are secret good things.

Usually we are telling this story from a position of advantage or good. A place we like.

We have a habit, us humans, of making the best of things. In fact, we have no choice (other than to die). We have to make the best of things in order to move forward. So the bad stuff becomes part of the story of the good stuff. There’s no way around this.

So life has a funny way of working out ok, except if you die. But we tend to think that if we are still alive and kicking, we are doing ok—with a few exceptions for very dire circumstances.

We also tend to redefine things. So, when we had a home, homelessness seemed horrible. But when we found ourselves homeless, we were grateful to still be alive and able to find food. Able to have hope. So we start to see homelessness as a good thing, compared to a worse alternative. Later on, when we have homes again, it becomes part of that journey. A struggle we overcame.

So it really has to be this way. Life has to work out. If it doesn’t we’re dead, and in no condition to lament anything.

marinelife's avatar

@Shippy Mostly from observing that worry does me no good. Also, I have been taking an herbal anti-anxiety formula that has helped me a lot. It is called Calms Forte.

CWOTUS's avatar

Actually, quite the reverse. Life’ll Kill Ya* **, but sometimes there are grace notes before that happens, yeah.

*Unless you’re a vampire.

**It killed Warren Zevon, but he had a good run until then.

Mariah's avatar

I dunno. I think things either work out okay, or they don’t work out okay and we lower our standards of what’s “okay” in order to cope. Or we don’t cope, and we become depressed or even commit suicide. That certainly happens. So I don’t know that I can agree.

Coloma's avatar

Learning to live with uncertainty is part of ones evolution as a human.
I rarely worry, I am much more a fly by the seat of my pants type and have a lot of confidence that I can handle whatever happens in the moment it happens, so I do not project any worst case scenarios.
Yes, things have always worked out, sometimes amazingly perfectly, considering some of my life challenges.

When things get dicey I remind myself how many times I have been saved at the 11th hour by fortuitous events and unfoldings.

KNOWITALL's avatar

You sound like me….if you’re always thinking worst-case scenerio and preparing for that, then yeah, life tends to work out because it’s often not as bad as what you can imagine. :)

YARNLADY's avatar

If you can accept that the result will not always be what you want, than sure – how could it not “work” out in the end.

flutherother's avatar

I’ve been through a few situations that worried me so that I couldn’t see a clear way through. These were very troubling and unsettling times but things always worked out reasonably satisfactorily in the end. Looking back, the problems do not seem to have been so great and I can see the path through the maze was quite clear though I didn’t see it at the time. Worry darkens and confuses the mind.

Sunny2's avatar

They say, “life is what you make of it” I find that only partly true, as I do the idea that “everything comes out all right in the end,” or “every cloud has a silver lining.” There are too many things that happen over which we have no control. Some things turn out positively; others, don’t. You face up to whatever life throws you and do the best you can. A certain amount of fatalism prevents utter disappointment.

Berserker's avatar

People are very adaptable, at least for the most part. Say I’m living my life now, and in the next three months, my life drastically changes; I end up in federal prison for five years. It’s gonna suck, but I’ll eventually adapt to my new surroundings, accept it because I don’t have a choice, and therefore, home sweet home. (despite how I end up when I get out, how am I going to really notice how much I’ve changed?) Is that really okay? Well, probably not, but what am I gonna do, suck off the warden so he lets me out?
A stupid example because I don’t know what prison is like so basing said example on it is kind of lame, but I do think people are very good at roughing it up, accepting things and going with the flow. Not saying it’s alright or should be this way, but it’s my general observation, which includes first person view. Things turn out okay because, a lot of the time, in this type of society, what real choice have we?
Say I get all my limbs severed off, and survive. If I plan on life, I’m going to have to find something to cling to (no pun intended) and be happy about in such a state.
For the sake of a less drastic outlook though, like more every day life issues that happen to anyone, of course everyone always has a choice, I don’t think society is as limited as it makes us believe. But they’re tough steps to take, and some may not even know the options are there.
Then again, I too, many times, have experienced overacting and too much worrying, only to see that the scenario I was imagining never happened anywhere near as worse as I thought, if it even happened at all. Although not worrying about something at all has also presented me with some surprise cataclysms, so to speak. There must be some psychological fuckery up in this bitch.
But I think I’m trying to tackle two subjects at once, and am mixing both up and this answer isn’t really working…erm.

shit, cops at the door, gotta go

Cruiser's avatar

I think we simply are more willing to stop fighting and come to accept how things have worked on and maybe even sprinkle in some divine intervention to better sell the outcome.

rojo's avatar

If by that you mean “Shit Happens” then yes.

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