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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Do you go for it, or do you forget it; expensive bracelet in the port-a-potty?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26783points) October 11th, 2012

There is this hot chic you don’t care to be your woman you just want to get next to her good enough to have hot money sex with her. At an event while tossing t-paper into the business end of a port-a-potty her expensive bracelet slips off and into the ahem you know, it lands. She is in a panic. Do you go after it with the hope it will gain you between the sheet time, of do you let her figure it out since you don’t plan a long time relationship with her, or do you go get it for her as a ”chip” to use later?

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34 Answers

Seek's avatar

Eff that. She can crap dive herself. There’s no reason for me to risk getting hepa-sypha-herpa-aids from someone’s hemmhorroid-bloody poo. Plenty of slutty fish in the sea.

downtide's avatar

Not for sex, not for an expensive bracelet, not even for a million pounds. No way in hell.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar


@downtide I’d do it for a million pounds.

CWOTUS's avatar

Since it’s probably easy enough to fish out and remain clean, I’d ask her first, “If I get it out, will you still want it once it’s cleaned?”

Why go to the bother if she’s just going to look at you like you’re from Mars for even offering it back to her?

But then I wouldn’t expect anything from her other than a “thank you”. I don’t pay for it, in any way as overt as that.

Seek's avatar

Now, for a million pounds I’d take the risk. That’s over 1.6 million dollars. More than enough for me to move to Norway.

picante's avatar

I’d certainly not do it for another person, but I was faced with this exact “moral dilemma” myself one time. Expensive bracelet kerplunked in far less than pristine toilet (in an airport, no less). I had to walk away. Sad but true.

ragingloli's avatar

What I would do is point and laugh.
@picante Ha ha!

Sunny2's avatar

it WAS an expensive bracelet. Now it’s not worth shit.

Seek's avatar

^ Oh, I see what you did there

Tropical_Willie's avatar

@Sunny2 you did it, now I have Diet Dr Pepper dribbling out my nose.

zenvelo's avatar

I would hand her a piece of paper with the port a pottie company phone number on it, and tell her I don’t mind if she makes a call right now. (If she’s that clumsy she ain’t holding my phone.)

Did she wash her hands?

ucme's avatar

The sexy biatch would most likely be chasing me rather than the other way around, so she can go shit diving herself…..shower afterwards sweetie.

bookish1's avatar

Sounds like she’s shit out of luck. I don’t think I’d even do that for a life partner. If it was important enough to them, they should fish it out themselves. I’ve dropped my wallet in a toilet and I didn’t go crying to anyone; I got it out myself and dealt with the shitty consequences!

I hope you aren’t making a bunch of concert-goers wait in line behind a port a potty while you try to figure this one out! :-p

linguaphile's avatar

If it was sitting on top of a pile, easily accessible by a tool of some kind—a stick, hanger, etc… MAYBE. If it had fallen far out of sight into the slush, I’d just let that bracelet go into the crapper. And would only fish for my own bracelet, not for anyone else’s.

Now people around me in the library are eyeing me—for cringing so obviously!

deni's avatar

Absolutely not. So much shit and menstrual blood of strangers. Ugh.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Eewww, hell no. Someone mentioned a million dollars or a million pounds… I’d do it for that, then bleach my hands and wash in scalding water for the next two hours.

Sunny2's avatar

@Tropical_Willie Here, have a tissue.

DigitalBlue's avatar

I’d do it for a million bucks.
Not for a date. Not for… anything less than a million bucks.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I’d figure out some way to get it out without getting dirty. And I’d do it as a favor. No sex or money required.
People, it’s just poop, not hydrofluoric acid or DMSO.

DigitalBlue's avatar

“It’s just poop.” This is why I adore you.

Berserker's avatar

Dude, gross. Who the hell would want to sleep with someone who sticks their hands in nasty ass toilet water full of poop, anyways?

CWOTUS's avatar

Plumbers’ wives. And husbands.

woodcutter's avatar

Hell no. Your arm will never not be blue. You wouldn’t want that. In your story there does it sink under or does it land all pretty, perched on a floater?

woodcutter's avatar

@Symbeline LOL!

Ass to mouth is verboten ;p

zenvelo's avatar

@linguaphile I saw the word “by a tool” and thought you said “on a stool”. I was wondering what kind a turd perch would be acceptable….

cazzie's avatar

I would call the portapotty company immediately and let the ‘shit empty experts’ deal with it if it was my bracelet. No way would I even ask anyone else to stick their hand down there and if anyone suggested they do it for me, with their transparent intentions glowing for me to see, I would roll my eyes and dry gag.

@Seek_Kolinahr , I’ll get the guest space ready downstairs!

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@CWOTUS Oh shit. My husband’s a plumber. Never thought of….... shit

zenvelo's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate There is a hierarchy amongst plumbers. My friend who is a plumber only did installs and construction plumbing. He used to say people who handle blockages and stopped toilets are “turd herders”.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

ROFL! My husband calls it “turd herders” too. He doesn’t typically have to deal with that part of the business, thank goodness.

woodcutter's avatar

Girl must be a knockout to have even considered this. I would like to see a pic of a woman that would be worth being the clown in a turd rodeo. Off the top of my head no one comes to mind.

psyonicpanda's avatar

Well depends For money? heck yea but at the risk of being friendzoned cause you will always be the guy thats stuck his hand in a John….it will either be your shineing light or your ultimate downfall.

FutureMemory's avatar

How did I ever miss this question. Another mentally stimulating brain teaser from our resident nutter.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

^ The question is…....what would you do?

FutureMemory's avatar

I’d get one of those arm-length rubber gloves that horse inseminators (sp?) use.

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