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Aethelwine's avatar

Do you consider yourself to be a kind person?

Asked by Aethelwine (41189points) December 9th, 2012

Do you need to work at being kind, or does it come naturally? Are you not kind and just a miserable asshole? Maybe just miserable with a kind face when you need to be?

How kind are you?

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46 Answers

Coloma's avatar

I’m warm and kind yes, but, I have zero tolerance for stupid and childish people. lol

Aethelwine's avatar

Does that mean you aren’t kind to stupid and childish people, @Coloma? Can you be kind to those you can’t tolerate?

Bellatrix's avatar

Yes I think I’m kind. I don’t have to work at it. In fact, I think I could be accused of being too ‘giving’ on occasions. Even if someone has offended me in the past, in most cases I would try to overlook that and help them if they needed it and it was within my power to help.

Coloma's avatar

@jonsblond Why the double solicitation?
Of course I can be kind,but I won’t feel any respect.
I’m not perfect, I can get irritated like anyone else. I do a pretty fine job of keeping my cool most of the time.

augustlan's avatar

I think so, yes. Most people are just ordinary people, doing their best. It takes a lot for me to be unkind to any of them. I came across a quote the other day that really hit the nail on the head for me.

The way you see people is the way you treat them, and the way you treat them is what they become.Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

digitalimpression's avatar

I started out very kind. The world has taught me that it rewards kindness with cruelty. I’m still kind.. but it’s tempered with a bit of doubt about the integrity of humanity.

Aethelwine's avatar

@Coloma It’s just a question (or two). I consider myself kind and I have a hard time understanding how others can be so hurtful. I can be unkind when provoked, so I’m hoping to learn to be kind to those who provoke me. You mentioned zero tolerance, so I was wondering how you handled people you can’t tolerate.

Shippy's avatar

I do believe I am a miserable asshole because I am so kind. Sadly lot’s of people mistake kindness for different things. Like you need sex, or you are an easy do over for example. Kind, has become almost an old fashioned word. I wish more were kinder and I wish I could be more selective who I am kind to.

tups's avatar

Yes, I think so. Sometimes life would be easier if I were less kind. Seems like the not so kind folks are the most succesful.

McCool's avatar

I’d like to think I am a kind person. However, I must admit that I have my jerk qualities, too. But, in the end I always have good intentions.

Er, mostly good.

zensky's avatar

Not as kind as I could be.

Brian1946's avatar

I think so. If I wasn’t, I’m sure my friends wouldn’t have nicknamed me Attila the Kind. ;-)

jrpowell's avatar

I will help people on the street if it looks like they need help and I have spare cash. If you try to convince me “Jesus Saves” I will tell you to fuck off and walk away.

hearkat's avatar

I looked up “kindness” in the dictionary, which says it means “being friendly, generous, and considerate”. I am usually polite and courteous, and I try to be friendly with the strangers that we all deal with on a daily basis, like sales clerks and wait staff, and I generally tip well when service is reasonably good.

However, I have observed that there is some truth to the old adage that if you “give them an inch, they’ll take a mile” in regards to people one deals with on a regular basis. For example, we have several patients who put off calling in to the last minute, and then want to be squeezed-in as if it were an emergency. If I don’t squeeze them in, they perceive me as unkind – but I am quick to remind them that it isn’t fair to the people who called and made their appointments weeks ago, if we overbook our schedules and run behind and stress ourselves out to the point that our overall service suffers.

As a parent, I learned to take a tough-love position, as well. I feel that caving-in and appeasing others may seem kind in the moment, but in the long run it does a disservice to the individuals involved and society as a whole if people expect to be indulged and pandered to all the time, as those indulged become more spoiled, and the “kind” ones develop resentments.

cookieman's avatar

I believe so, but I always feel that these sort of assessments are best handled by others. It’s not for me to decide if I’m a good friend, reliable husband, or even a kind person. Seems to me that the people I interact with would have a more accurate opinion.

marinelife's avatar

Yes, I try to be kind.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Nah, I’ve decided to be a miserable prick and see how that plays out.

Coloma's avatar

@jonsblond I am polite but try to avoid them.

serenade's avatar

@jonsblond, the way I answer your follow up question is to be “bigger” than the people who would otherwise provoke me. And by that I don’t mean being bigger by just saying you are the bigger person yet still feeling stung by their vitriol, but by actually seeing them as someone who is struggling with their particular experience in life. The way to tell whether you are ready to see the difference is if that sting stays with you or if it simply falls away because you can see that their comment really has nothing to do with you. Or, maybe it does, but you can easily separate their legitimate criticism from their caustic delivery. If you feel stung, then just give the feeling back to them, because you’re not ready or prepared to be kind just yet. Maybe you can pretend kindness to them, but you’ll fail at being kind to yourself.

I can do this with some people and not with others. I am really bad at doing this with my sister, because I have no buffer after a lifetime of dealing with her neurotic behaviors. So, instead I try to take her in small doses, because that’s what I can do to be kind to myself. I also am quick to forgive—so I sort of reward and punish the behaviors, but don’t hold a grudge against the person if they suddenly decide they want to act like a normal human. I do wish I could just accept my sister for who she is, but it’s difficult to do.

filmfann's avatar

I am naturally kind. I know this because I have to hold myself back from helping people I don’t like. I just automatically try to help everyone, and I am often taken advantage of by people who are unkind.

SuperMouse's avatar

My default is kindness, I will always lead with kindness. I am never nasty to someone unprovoked and always try to do the right thing. My kindness however, is tempered by very little patience. Once someone is unkind to me I will not “rise above” and give them kindness in return. I will not be polite, I will not be kind, I will do all I can to avoid the person. Sometimes though my avoidance is perceived as being unkind, when in reality it is the best way for me to keep from being nasty to them.

I aspire to live this quote from Abdu’l Baha “When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love.” Truth be told, I am no where near enlightened enough to make that happen.

tinyfaery's avatar

Yep. Dontcha know?

Argonon's avatar

Yes, it comes naturally I suppose, but I do have my bad days and I’m not so kind then..

ucme's avatar

Yes I do, more importantly, lots of people around me agree.

flutherother's avatar

Not exactly, but I hold kindness in very high regard. It would hardly be possible to live in a world without kindness.

ucme's avatar

Ooh, no lurve, someone’s clearly not being kind ;¬}

Aethelwine's avatar

@ucme I was taking a nap. You got your lurve now. I always hand out lurve to those who take the time to respond to my questions. That’s the kind thing to do. ;)

ucme's avatar

@jonsblond I wasn’t referring to anyone in particular, least of all you, it just looked kind of forlorn hanging out there with it’s arse in the wind. Cheers anyway ;¬}

flutherother's avatar

@ucme There! Never let it be said. ^^

ucme's avatar

Beat you too it Jock ;¬}

flutherother's avatar

You’ve no idea how difficult it is being kind to an Englishman!

ucme's avatar

I know, kindness is an alien virtue to the scots, just ask Bloody Mary.

Coloma's avatar

@flutherother LOL
Did someone say Bloody Marys?
2 stalks of celery in mine please, and don’t even think of using any crappy cheap vodka…Grey Goose, but of course, or I shall be forced to let my unkind Scottish heritage kick in.

ucme's avatar

No someone didn’t, it was me.

flutherother's avatar

I’ll have a glass of the milk of human kindness please and by the way, Bloody Mary was English.

ucme's avatar

Of course she was, but her scottish connection was tangible enough to warrant a mention.

Coloma's avatar

Does this milk of human kindness flow from bloody Marys breast? lol

flutherother's avatar

Ha Ha Does it look like it?. And she was English.

ucme's avatar

Anne Boleyn was rumoured to have three breasts, my, my…that’s a lot of milk!!
And once again, you seem to be preaching to the converted.

Coloma's avatar

@flutherother LOL…yes, those well bound breasts seem to be as dry as the look on her face.

Bill1939's avatar

Yes I am a kind person, as much and as often as I can be.

burntbonez's avatar

I try to be kind. I think it’s important to be kind. But I’m sure other people think otherwise.

wundayatta's avatar

Sure, I want to be a kind person, but there’s only so many times you can be called a douchebag and a sexist pig before you have to accept that most people don’t agree.

YARNLADY's avatar

I try to be as kind as possible to everyone I meet and I don’t expect to change just because some one does not reciprocate.

Sunny2's avatar

I try. Kindness is one of the main tenets of my philosophy of life, which is as close as I get to a religion. Do unto others, y’know.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

My partner says that I’m “sweet” (surprise, surprise). I’m actually pretty compassionate.

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