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Blackberry's avatar

Atheists: What do you eat for dinner?

Asked by Blackberry (30899points) December 12th, 2012

I usually have a large helping of our Lord and Savior with a tall glass of Jesus juice. I assume that’s what everyone eats, so what could non-believers possibly eat since everyone else eats our Father? I don’t get it…..

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40 Answers

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Bacon and bravery.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

My fav would be a big helping of pussy.

tinyfaery's avatar

Today it’s yummy bread and goat cheese. I’m already on to dessert now—candy.

zensky's avatar


SavoirFaire's avatar

It depends on whether or not I can get freshly aborted fetuses. If not, I check my unspoiled virgin traps. And when all else fails, I shoot into the sky until an angel falls to the ground.

Brian1946's avatar

Freedom fries, secular celery, and godless goulash.

jrpowell's avatar

Top Ramen. Since god is a self-absorbed prick and all he has blessed into my checking account is 10 cents since I don’t believe in the magic man in the sky.

Unbroken's avatar

I usually fortify with a strong serving of Rocking Badassness and that gets me rarin then later I have some witches brew to soothe the soul body and mind.

WestRiverrat's avatar

When I feed them they generally get grilled buffalo steaks, fried potatos, baked beans, and peach cobbler cooked over a campfire.

Judi's avatar

Now now. Us Christians know you all eat babies and puppy dogs. Don’t lie. ~

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Aborted babies, obviously, like jonsblond

Kardamom's avatar

Tonight I had a fake burger with sliced onions, pickle relish, vegan mayo, jack cheese and peanut butter. Try it, you’ll like it!

jonsblond's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Nope. I like to hear mine scream. They need to be at least a few days old ;)

filmfann's avatar

@zensky You bust me up! That is just damned funny!

bob_'s avatar

@jonsblond I prefer moaners myself. Wait, what?

wundayatta's avatar

Christians on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Muslims on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Buddhists and Jews on Sundays. Sometimes we do it backwards, just for fun.

WestRiverrat's avatar

@wundayatta Do you eat Hindu or Shinto on Friday?

filmfann's avatar

Doesn’t anyone respect Taco Tuesdays?

WestRiverrat's avatar

@filmfann That is only for catholics around here.
Lutherans get lutefisk and lefse on Friday night.

wundayatta's avatar

@WestRiverrat I have Hinduase intolerance. They give me really bad gas and sleepless nights. I usually fast on Fridays, but on feast Fridays, we often have Shinto.

jonsblond's avatar

@wundayatta I can’t believe you don’t do Mormon Mondays.

Kardamom's avatar

Does anyone have a craving for nachos?

Bellatrix's avatar

I quite like Chrispians…

wildpotato's avatar

I think I found the recipe:

Scale of dragon; tooth of wolf;
Witches’ mummy; maw and gulf
Of the ravin’d salt-sea shark;
Root of hemlock digg’d i’ the dark;
Liver of blaspheming Jew;
Gall of goat, and slips of yew
Sliver’d in the moon’s eclipse;
Nose of Turk, and Tartar’s lips;
Finger of birth-strangled babe
Ditch-deliver’d by a drab,—
Make the gruel thick and slab:
Add thereto a tiger’s chaudron,
For the ingredients of our cauldron.

wundayatta's avatar

@jonsblond I know, right? But my momma always said never eat Mormons on an empty stomach.

livelaughlove21's avatar

The hearts of Christians.

Bellatrix's avatar

Plus they tend to get stuck between your teeth @Wunday and I can never finish a full one. (I stole that from some comedian… can’t remember who?)

zenvelo's avatar

Pagan babies. We bought one for every kid in the class in third grade!

Sunny2's avatar

I don’t understand the question nor the answers. Who is making fun of whom and what are the implictaions?

McCool's avatar

I had pancakes.
I’m not atheist, but I just really wanted to tell someone that.
Damn good pancakes, too.

Judi's avatar

@Sunny2, Well, I can think of that Pat Robertson Rant I saw recently where he said atheists are miserable and they want to make us miserable too by stealing Christmas.
making fun of people who have demonized (pun intended) atheists.

Berserker's avatar

Pizza, steak, pasta, canned goods…sorry, but all the good jokes have been made. XD

ragingloli's avatar

Fried toddler, freshly harvested from the supermarket.

Berserker's avatar

@ragingloli Best delivered in a windowless van amirite?

ucme's avatar

Pages torn from the bible, can’t keep them down though, the taste of bullshit makes me gag.

FutureMemory's avatar

I consume hope and shit out faith.

poisonedantidote's avatar

There is no such thing as dinner.

Dinner was made up by humans, and is totally dependent on chronology. According to the myth, dinner is consumed at a certain time, but, did you know people consume dinner at different times in different countries?

Sure, you call it dinner, but only because you are born in to a culture who call it dinner. You eat dinner at the time you eat it, because that is the time your parents ate dinner.

If you lived in Spain, you would not believe in dinner, you would believe in “la comida del dia” and you would eat it at a totally different time.

In the UK and USA you have “dinner”, in France you have “le dîner”, in Spain you have “la comida” and in Germany you have “das abendessen”, and they all take place at different times.

Lets face it, this is just some social conditioning that you was put though, you have been brainwashed by your parents to believe in dinner, if you lived in Germany you would be harping on about abendessen, and believing in that.

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