Social Question

NewNameGuy's avatar

Would you consent to a 3-some for your partner if they were terminally ill?

Asked by NewNameGuy (39points) May 22nd, 2014

Basically just what the question says. Came up in conversation at work and I was wondering what the general consensus would be.

So essentially frame it like this; your partner (be it girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, whatever) finds out they are terminally ill… in our conversation it was with cancer… The partner has had a long time sexual fantasy of engaging in a 3-way with you and another person of a gender that “benefits” them. Would you consent too, or even potentially initiate said 3-way for your partner?

To help categorize it, please give some detail of your personal/specific situation. IE how long have you been together, have you been open to or even done such acts in the past, etc, etc.

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24 Answers

Dan_Lyons's avatar

This is your 1st question? hahaha, nice.

I would say sure, since I have been badgering her for a while to do so anyway.

hug_of_war's avatar

No. I’m not changing my stance because their circumstances have changed. That’s weak.

janbb's avatar

Adds another dimension to the Make-a-Wish Foundation, doesn’t it?

filmfann's avatar

If I agreed, I would be the one who is terminal.

Kardamom's avatar

No. I’m not comfortable with the idea now, and it would be kind of like a slap in the face then.

Unbroken's avatar

No and like kardamom I would be offended by the idea. Of all the selfish things…

Btw I have tried a threesome in the past. It was selfish and weird back then.

anniereborn's avatar

yes I would. I don’t need him to be terminally ill to say yes. I have been with my partner for almost ten years. we have lived together for over half of that time.

gailcalled's avatar

Sure, if I were not part of the threesome.

janbb's avatar

@gailcalled But Milo said he specifically wanted you and Frodo involved.

bolwerk's avatar

I only do FMF threeways, so no.

But my partner would be free to do her own MFM threeway arrangement however she sees fit, provided reasonable precautions are taken to prevent me from getting STDs. I would refuse to be involved, however.

josie's avatar

Wouldn’t it be more enriching and fulfilling to take her to Paris?

El_Cadejo's avatar

I would,and have, and no one would have to be terminally ill. Everyone wins :P

ucme's avatar

Them being close to kicking the bucket has no bearing on the situation at all.

janbb's avatar

Just got an e-mail from Make-a-Wish labeled “Exciting News.” Swear to God.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Well there you go. . .

Judi's avatar

Just because someone is terminal it doesn’t mean they’re suddenly incapable of being an ass hole. In a relationship that has been traditional, for someone to try to change the terms in a situation like this would be just plain mean. The person who is dying will be just that, dead, but the person who is living still has to live with themselves and the decisions they make.

Unbroken's avatar

Just how terminal is this person any way… Wouldn’t they be in pain or on some sort of pain managment… Would they even have a sex drive?

For instance I am technically considered terminal. They gave me a year over a year ago… Now they think one more year…. I think they are crossing their fingers and making a wish of their own.. but regardless I spend quite a bit of time managing and keeping ahead of my illness if I don’t I get sick, I even get sick regardless. The pain ranges from annoying and wearing to excruciating. Now there are a billion and one ways to die… But all of them from my perspective the closer and more certain the end is the more painful and hence lowered sex drive the person would have. Dieing pretty and with organs functioning well seems like a fantasy in regards to terminal illness.

@Judi GA

Coloma's avatar

No. Jeez…I can think of about 10,000 things I’d rather do if I was dying instead of a threesome. Not my cup o’ tea, take a fucking cruise instead, build your dream tree house, go skydiving. lol
@Judi Excellent answer, I agree. haha
On a side note, I know a woman who works in hospice care and she has told me she cannot count how many dying old geezers want to have sex with her or have her perform other sexual acts on their deathbeds.

She tells them that is not part of her job description.
Fuck….seriously….give it up already! lolol

Darth_Algar's avatar

I’d do it even if they weren’t terminally ill.

ibstubro's avatar

@janbb‘s sub-thread made me literally LOL.

Great opening, @Dan_Lyons!

@El_Cadejo was revealing.

And I think @ucme was, spot on. What’s love death got to do with it?

Fun question!

GloPro's avatar

“Hi, my boyfriend is gonna die. Wanna fuck?”


NewNameGuy's avatar

@ Everyone: In the context we had it at work… it wasn’t so much that the dying partner was asking/begging/guilt-tripping the surviving partner for a 3-way. It was more in the context that the dying partner had at some point made known their fantasy of a 3-way, but had let it go realizing it was never really a possibility out of respect for their partner… but now that they are dying, the surviving partner considers giving their dying partner said fantasy.

also @ Everyone: This specific idea has no bearing on other things you may do as a couple in your remaining time together. So for example, taking a trip to Paris ( @josie ) still definitely in play if you want it to be. All the other variables of this equation are up to you. Conditions, other plans, situations, etc, all in the air.

@Unbroken Sorry to hear about your situation :(. Our assumption in our conversation at work was that the terminal partner was early on in whatever their illness was, and hadn’t yet reached a point where it effected them enough to dissuade their sexual drive. I realize that is a narrow window usually (between knowing 100% you are GOING to die and being so sick you can’t function in many ways), but for the sake of the argument that’s what we went with.

Unbroken's avatar

Meh… I shouldn’t have gone off like that… It is all in fun

LornaLove's avatar

I’d like to think he would have mentioned it before he was going to kick the bucket. So, no.

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