Social Question

imrainmaker's avatar

Why do people cheat?

Asked by imrainmaker (8365points) September 17th, 2016

Is it because issues in current relationship / feeling unsatisfied / lust / too much controlling partner? What do you think is major reason doing it in spite of all the consequences they must be aware of?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

18 Answers

chyna's avatar

Because they can.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I once heard a quote. “A man is only as loyal as his options”.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I would think the biggest reason is they feel they can get away with it.
second they are restless unsatisfied with what is safe and feel it is filling a void, plus they think they can get away with it.

Coloma's avatar

Simple, lack of integrity which goes hand in hand with emotional immaturity. Real men and women have the balls and breasts to either get serious about making their relationship work, or, breaking up/divorce.

MrGrimm888's avatar

I think there are many different reasons why. But the main reason is you’re a awful person (if you’re the cheater.)

If it weren’t for STDs, it would be slightly less unethical.

Relationships are built on trust. IMO, once you step out, you have violated that trust and the relationship irreparably.

If the person who you’re cheating on loves you, and you know this, you’re an especially terrible person.
I think being cheated on is comparable to rape. When you find out, it’s crushing,and infuriating. You feel violated. It’s SO simple. Don’t have sex with other people when in a monogamous relationship.

If you cheat on people who love you,and maybe you used to love, you deserve to be alone, and miserable. And die that way.

Just break up . Then you can FTW.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

I will rather use plausible scientifical answer. It could be because such primal behavior/instinct have been there to begin with in Homo family (taxonomically) and got transferred to future generations in species of the same family. The members of both sexes in Hominidae family do not naturally form a monogamous relationship and lifestyle, so even though a single more intelligent/developed species in this family (Homo sapiens) have tried to create what is known as monogamy relationship or even marriage it won’t erase the desire, instinct, and freedom of a human to be with someone else they prefer. To give an example, there is no such thing as cheating when a female chimpz decide to go after another male after she has just been impregnated. We human make rules and try to enforce that one person must share sex with only one person thus contradicting with our natural desire and freedom to have sex with who ever we like.

I must say, however, that I don’t agree with what is called as cheating. It is society’s fault that such thing exist in the first place. If human will just feel OK to accept open relationship and not enforce monogamy in society then everyone will be able to happily express their sexual activities and no need to create cheating label.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Studies show that men and women cheat with a predictable and repeatable distribution. Both genders are doing it at about the same rate. Cheating is seldom just about sex, usually there are more systemic problems at the root of it. For the record I never have.

imrainmaker's avatar

^^Thanks for clarifying..@Unofficial_Member – So you mean to say there shouldn’t be any restrictions in this aspect and there’s nothing like cheating as it’s our instinctive behaviour? If we go by this logic there shouldn’t be something called rule of law.. everyone should be able to do whatever he / she feels so as per their instincts. What will be the difference then between primitive animals and humans?

Coloma's avatar

Just because “studies” show men and women cheat equally doesn’t change the fact that the behavior is still the mark of a weak character.
True, cheating is not about the sex most of the time, it is about a disconnect from relationship, communication breakdown, the need to be paid attention to by another and other psychological factors. However, regardless, a person, man or women, that chooses cheating over getting into counseling to work out issues or opting to break up or divorce is still a sneaky slimeball. Nothing worse than a sneak, nothing.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

@imrainmaker I don’t know if you get what I meant. What I am trying to say is that I don’t see the act of having multiple relationship as wrong, it is as natural as it can be, it has even been there for as long as before the creation of monogamous relationship, and human tried to label non-monogamous relationship as cheating. As for restriction and rules, they can’t be forced upon other people, unless of course, they themselves agree to be bound by such things, for example: a monogamy contract.

Monogamy is a contract between two persons, violating the rules in contract will result in consequences for those who have agreed to be bound under the contract so it goes without saying the one who violate the term is wrong. Now imagine if our society and ourselves did not enforce monogamy in our relationship, but instead, we respect others’ freedom and desire to have sex with who ever they prefer. If this is done then there’s no need to create a monogamy contract to restrict each other in the first place and nobody is obliged to be involved in a relationship contract. We can all freely form a romantic/sexual relationship with who ever we like without having to be labeled as cheating (just because others don’t like the idea that we spent/share our love with other people!)

ragingloli's avatar

because deep down, everyone is a ferengi.
Ferengi Rules of Aquisition #284
#181: Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.

Coloma's avatar

@Unofficial_Member I agree that monogamy is a choice bound by a contract between 2 people, however, as far as your proposal to be as sexually free as one so desires, well, psychologically speaking, it has been proven that this sort of open arrangement rarely works, for long anyway. It is rare that 2 people can sustain an open relationship without experiencing a lot of psychological conflict over the long term. As long as two people consent to an open relationship, no problem, but ultimately, it is hard to sustain true intimacy with a partner when one is fraternizing with others on a regular basis.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Because they feel it necessary or required.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

@Coloma I don’t know if we can make a generalization out of this. It should be judged with case by case basis. I am sure monogamy is not for everyone and that some people have successfully thrived outside monogamy relationship. It is not a rule that human can only be happy with monogamy.

Coloma's avatar

@Unofficial_Member I’m not saying it is, just that it is an exceedingly hard path to maintain in the long term for most. Sooner or later there is going to be emotional fallout for most.

Mariah's avatar

They want to have it all. They want to have someone new without giving up what they already have. It’s selfish as fuck, obviously.

MooCows's avatar

Most of the time it is not about the sex.
It is a need to be paid attention to by
someone who “gets you” for exactly
who you are and you both fill a void
for each other. My husband is always
so busy on the farm as long as his
clothes were clean and food on table
I don’t think I would be missed.

Response moderated (Spam)

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther