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Theasiandude's avatar

Is she trying to make it easier for me or is she going to flake out on me?

Asked by Theasiandude (15points) September 8th, 2017 from iPhone

When I asked a girl to reschedule with me, because I’m not available anymore on the day we were gonna have our date. She says “I’m probably only available on Wednesday”, and then I asked her if she wanted to try to schedule for the 19th instead. Is she gonna flake out on me if I replied like that? Because I’ve been trying muster up the courage to ask her out, and she just replies with that.

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4 Answers

marinelife's avatar

Let’s try it and see what she says. You could also try saying that you were really looking forward to seeing her, and you hope that she will give you another chance.

Kardamom's avatar

From all of your questions regarding this girl, you reek of desperation. Nobody wants to be with someone like that.

You’ve admitted to messing up your previous “non-relationship” with this girl by saying something stupid. I’d be curious to know what you said, because there are different degrees of “stupid comments” and some are easily given a pass, and others are unforgiveable. Do you mind sharing what you said?

I think you said that this girl broke up with you because of the stupid comments you made, but that you weren’t exclusive at the time.

It sounds like she just moved on. It wasn’t exactly a breakup if you weren’t really together.

On top of all this, you’ve admitted to stalking this girl and her friends’ Facebook pages. That’s not cool and also makes you appear desperate.

You need to stop dancing around and wringing your hands and pacing around in your mind.

None of us know what is in her mind, nor do we know how she feels about you. The onlynwaynto find out is to ask her, directly. Either on the phone before your date, or in person. You don’t need to be on a “date” which suggests a romantic situation.

Just ask her when is the best time fir you two to meet and talk. Then lay it all out. If she hems and haws about meeting up with you, and can’t give you an actual date and time to meet, that means she is trying ti walk away from you without embarassing you. If she does give you a specific time and date, but then ditches you, that also means she is trying to move forth without you, but is too embarrassed/scared to tell you that.

If, on the other hand, she gives you a date and time to meet with you, make sure you show up on time and then gather up your courage and say, “Mary, I really like you and I am extremely sorry for saying (fill in the blank with what you said) and I would like for us to try dating for real this time, and for us to be a couple. And I will do everyrhing I can to show you that I’m not a jerk and that I won’t hurt you or embarrass you and I won’t continue to do stupid stuff like stalking you and your friends on Facebook again. I will do everything I can to gain your trust and respect. What do think Mary?” Then listen to what she says.

If she is interested in dating you, she will say so. If she’s not sure, DO NOT HOUND HER OR BEG HER. Give her some space. If she doesn’t give you a yes in a couple of weeks, walk away and don’t blame her. Chalk it up to a lesson learned, and vow to be a decent guy with everyone from here on out.

Again, I will stress that no one wants to be with someone who is desperate. So don’t be that way. Just be a decent guy. She’ll either want to date you or not. That is just the way life works.

Best of luck to you.

Kardamom's avatar

Sorry about the typos, I don’t usually text such long responses on my phone, and try to save them for when I’m on my laptop.

janbb's avatar

Try for a Wednesday and see what she says.

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