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LuckyGuy's avatar

Once again, will you please favor me with your creative wit, #2?

Asked by LuckyGuy (38067points) 3 weeks ago

I want to humorously make the point that I have a lot of matches.

Something like:
I have more matches than _____. (Fill on the blank.).
... more matches than match . com.
... more matches than the Diamond Match Company.
... more matches than ____.

You get the idea. Can you come up with some other examples?
Like the last time I asked for your help, humor is definitely encouraged!


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17 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

…the colonial national football team has lost against Z-tier countries.

zenvelo's avatar

More matches than an O+ blood donor.

More matches than Serena Williams.

More matches than Carter has pills.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

More matches than Pintos have hatches..Ford joke, right there
More matches then Rolex has watches How it’s really pronounced. Go ahead, call Rolex XD

Jeruba's avatar

more matches than hell uses in a month

more matches than (fill in the name of a matchmaking website)

more matches than Lucky has strikes

Are you a phillumenist?

LuckyGuy's avatar

These are great!
@Jerubta I had to look up “phillumenist.” Thank you for teaching me a new word. No I am not a phillumenist. But, I did know someone who was.

I was recently given 2 cases of matches by someone who needed to get rid of them. I just could not let them go to waste. Now they’re in my garage and I’m using them to start all my fires: brush, trash, woodburner, etc. .

Dutchess_III's avatar

You know you’re a Kansan when you can light a match in 50 mph winds!

stanleybmanly's avatar

Than Trump has scandals

Jeruba's avatar

Are these wooden matches, @LuckyGuy, loose in boxes, or a ton of matchbooks, plain or printed?

I can’t help thinking how interesting it would be to take one case (who really needs two cases, anyway?) out to some bare space, such as a beach, and do a little arranging, and then strike one match . . .

Or, you know, this.

Who, me? No, I didn’t say anything.

ucme's avatar

More matches than grey pubes on the Queen’s regal bush.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@Jeruba They are book matches, not nice wooden matches. They’re all advertising the same defunct company that no doubt felt they would be in business for at least another 20 years.
I now have a book sitting on each window sill that I use to determine whether the air is moving into or out of the house. I then switch the direction of a window box fan accordingly to maximize cool night air infiltration.

I suppose I could sacrifice a box of 24 or so to do some kind of experiment – in the name of science, of course.. .

josie's avatar

More matches than plantations in Natchez

LuckyGuy's avatar

More matches than a hot nympho on Tinder.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

More matches than my sock drawer.What!?

Dutchess_III's avatar

^^^ No matches!

dxs's avatar

more matches than Albert Einstein playing Memory.

Kardamom's avatar

I have more matches than Donald Trump has on an abnormal psychology check list.

Kardamom's avatar

I have more matches than Donald Trump has gallons of hydroxycloroquine and bleach to clear the Covid out of his rotted out innards.

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