Had you never seen one of them before, what characteristics would you attribute to a bird-of-paradise?

You mean this Bird of Paradise ?

Long tail. Gold and green. Sparkly

Extremely pronounced plumage in the males. In fact the colors, and exaggerated feather arrangements adapted for display rather than flight render the birds virtual freaks only possible in places slim on creatures suited to gobbling them up.

No matter what he looks like, he is surrounded constantly by females.

Colorful, large, plumes on head, drinking a Pina Colada!

Pimp birds