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RedDeerGuy1's avatar

What are some more funny twists on sayings?

Asked by RedDeerGuy1 (24469points) June 8th, 2021

Do onto others as you want to do onto you.

My twist is:

Do onto others before they do onto you.

Humor welcome.

I have another one from Malcolm in the middle:
Money doesn’t grow on trees,
But then why is orange juice so expensive?

Also it’s not will power but rather won’t power.

The Golden rule. Treat others as you would like to be treated.

The gold rule. He who owns the gold makes the rules.

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7 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

The first saying I got from Mad or Cracked magazine 30 years ago.

lastexit's avatar

If you love someone set them free
If they come back they’re yours
If they don’t they never were

Better version:
If you love someone set them free
If they come back nobody wanted them

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will overfish the seas to extinction.

From:
Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day.
Teach him how to fish and you feed him for life.

LostInParadise's avatar

This is a well known twist that I like:
Nothing recedes like success

ragingloli's avatar

Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and you lose a repeating customer.

kritiper's avatar

To: “A man isn’t complete until he’s married.”
Add: “Then he’s finished!”

seawulf575's avatar

Norm from Cheers: “Women. Can’t live with ‘em…pass the beer nuts.”.

Had a guy on the sub that came up with a couple doozies:
“Don’t talk about my mom that way. You know she died before I was born”.
“I’ve never had an original thought that was my own.”

But the all time favorite is to add the words “in bed” to any fortune cookie fortune.

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