Parents: is it important to you that certain people think you're a good parent?

Yes, if it’s my parents, my children, or CPS.

As Roseanne Rosanna Danna would say, for someone from England, you ask a lot of questions.
My kids thought I was an unreasonable parent. They always would point out what they thought was unfair treatment. (How come Carolee gets to stay up late?)
Years later, they would notice that the rules changed according to their ages.
Now that my kids are having kids, they are suddenly seeing and accepting the wisdom my wife and I had. Add to it the revolations of what was going on in the neighborhood when they were kids, that they didn’t know about then, and my wife and I become the standard. I only wish they could have seen my parents raising us.
So, in the end, do your best. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, as long as you have your kids best interest at heart.
And fuck those idiots at CPS.

Well right now it’s pretty important that the court thinks I’m a good parent. Not that it makes much of a difference. Apparently everyone thinks I’m a good parent (from what I hear there was an off-the-record discussion about me among judges yesterday). But it would be nice if they did something about that.

My daughter adores me, so that’s all that matters. I’m pretty sure I’m doing the right thing. It seems to be the only thing I’m good at. I feel as if my whole life I was preparing to become a father (one that can sing a child to sleep, has the energy to play all day, the knowledge to teach things and the teaching experience to be strict when necessary).

I think my ex wife is a lousy parent, for the simple reason that she tries to be something she isn’t. All she needs to do is love our daughter, and she’s so bad at that. The worst part is that she knows it, and that makes things even worse. She doesn’t even try anymore.

And yes, it is nice if everyone (parents, grandparents etc) think you’re good, and my own parents are pretty proud of me, but if I had to choose, I’d put my daughter’s opinion above everyone else’s put together. My father now admits he may have made some mistakes as a parent, but I think he was good enough. At least his heart was in the right place.

When I was an active stepmother, it was important the biological mother have respect for me and trust in my care while her child was visiting. It was important for all of the child’s relatives to think and then believe I was capable and safe and even a positive influence so the child would be allowed to see her father more often. I’m lucky, we all had a good outcome and my stepdaughter (ex stepdaughter) says she loves me even now which makes me feel wonderful and important.

Only my children. So far, so good. :)

I don’t care what ANYONE thinks of my parenting, frankly. My daughter DEFINITELY doesn’t think so right now but she will. All I care about it properly parenting my child. All I’m concerned about is that my daughter gets parenting. I’m open to opinions and feedback but I like to think I thought this parenting thing through and there’s a good reason for everything I do. I monitor my daughters psychological and social development constantly. I think I’m a good parent. And I have reasons for thinking this way. I don’t have to prove it to anyone.

yes i care about what everyone thinks… but that just fits in with the rest of my delusional qualities :-(

Partner is very important. For the grandparents it depends. If they get involved too much it creates far more problems than it might solve.

I would hope that my husband thinks I am a good parent. My daughter thinks so most of the time but my son thinks I am terrible. It doesn’t matter what they think of me now as long as I know that I am trying to help them grow up strong and healthy, learn how to function in the world, and make good choices. My own parents think I am a good parent. I know that I am doing my best, although sometimes I worry about what the ramifications are of certain actions.

My son is Bipolar, ODD and ADD. Life with him has been exceedingly rough. Because of exaggerations and lies he has told at school we are now involved with both CPS and APS (because my son has been violent towards both me and my disabled husband). It is an interesting experience to say the least.

My daughter OTOH is a nice person, a great student, a gifted athlete, and a good friend, with clear goals in life. I would like to think that some of what she is is due to my influence, but a lot of it is just who she is.

In my world, CPS = Current Population Survey. It was only @Darwin‘s post that I realized you mean Child Protection Services or something like that.

I’ve never had an encounter with CPS (unless you count folks I know socially who work there), and I can’t imagine ever having one.

Becoming a parent was very important to me. I was always afraid of other people’s kids. This was because I had a lot of ideas about what to say to kids, and I thought most people would get mad at me for even thinking about these subjects. However, with my own kids, no one else would have anything to say about what I talked about to them.

I believe in giving them information, and complete information as I know how to give. I believe in having high expectations, and pushing my kids hard. School and piano teacher both have “no tears” rules, because they are afraid that will turn the kids off of the subject. I don’t think it will, and I don’t push my kids very often, but when I think they are slacking, I do.

Anyway, a few people online have told me they think I’m a good parent. I think that’s kind of silly, because all they know is what I say, and I could be giving them a biased picture of what happens. In any case, I like hearing it. I like it when other adults compliment me on my kids. It is an implicit “good parenting” comment. It also validates my way of bringing them up, and especially when I hear of other people’s problems with their kids that I don’t have. Maybe I’m not as crazy as I thought I was.

I’m pretty sure that both my kids and my parents would think that my wife and I are good parents. I think she’s a good parent, and I think she thinks I am. The kids are responsible, given their ages and genders; they are generally cooperative; they are serious about what they do; they like to have fun and know how to have it; and they don’t have problems with being around adults.

Yeah, it’s important to me that people think I’m a good parent. It validates my understanding of what’s good for kids and adults.

I was scared to become a parent. My home life growing up was seriously fucked up. The first thing I did was learn to control my temper. I find this especially difficult if I am overly tired. My son is 12 and does not know about my life, nor do any of my friends in my new town. I know I am a good parent. I see the results of it in my child every day. He is well mannered, a good leader, independent thinker, great student. I let him slack on occasion. He puts way more pressure on himself to succeed than I do. We have some hardline rules and some that are more negotiable now that he is getting older.

Outside validation is a great thing. Everyone I know loves my child, teachers, neighbors, etc. Most of my neighbors have grown or nearly grown children. If they think I am a good mom, I must be. They all have stellar children, now men that are starting families. I appreciate the fact that we all talk and we all count on eachother to keep an eye out for “oddities” in our neighborhood.

@mamabeverley what are the oddities?

Ok, for example, a boy from down the block came to play in our “community” yard. (4 houses, no fences, we all share the space, but mow our own) This boy proceeded to make a “dog humping” motion in the yard. My neighbor was all over me the next day, making sure I talked to my son about it because “he is such a nice boy”. They were really freaked. She said he hubby almost went out and yelled at the “obscene boy”.

Mainly though, we know who belongs here and who does not. We have about 25 houses in our sub division, and we know most every one at least by sight if not by name. I am lucky that I am not afraid to have my kid ride his bike around with his friends. Eveyone watches out here. I think they are just nosey most of the time, but at least they are not in their own little world.

@mamabeverley okay, thanks

Only myself, actually. I think I was (am) a good parent.

I know I will be a good parent, and I will listen to feedback. I don’t really care what my parents think of my parenting ideas, I care about my fiances though and I know he cares about my thoughts on how to raise children