If you came with a warning label, what would it say?
Asked by
rooeytoo (
26981
)
October 14th, 2009
I think mine might say something like, “Volatile Contents, Handle Cautiously” or “Tread Carefully if She Has a Chainsaw in Her Hands.”
What would yours say?
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53 Answers
“Warning, this product is a terrible conversationalist”
My music taste is far better than your’s
Do not try to fight it, just accept the fact
Not to be taken by children under 12. Ask a doctor before use if you are pregnant, over the age of 60, or have severe stomach problems.
“Warning: Almost out of medication. Proceed with extreme caution.” :P
@pdworkin but “tease the jew” is the most fun game ever!
@evegrimm – I think you are winning so far!!!
Broken, but not beyond repair.
As of right now it would say
“Fuck off”
not havin a good day :P
Caution: May rend flesh with no warning. Unattractive, but wants affection anyway. Builds tall brick walls for you to scale in a single bound. Expects you to back up your assertions with fact. Not good with people or children. Also: cooks edibly.
@laureth -wow, I thought mine was scary but you have me cowering!
But what part is sarcasm, just the rend flesh segment or the whole thing???
&
@uberbatman – I am sorry to hear that, just remember, this too shall pass! And your suggestion does make a very self explanatory & explicit warning label.
@rooeytoo yea i know. I keep telling myself that, but every so often ya just have one of those days were nothing at all goes right and you just cant get over it. I should just go to sleep or something.
Tendency to break out in song peppered with high kicks
May present a choking hazard to teens.
dont flirt with me because i will &^%$ you.
To activate, just add beer.
Warning: Feed before handling. You have been warned.
@DarkScribe – your label completely fits with the personna you have created in my mind based on your Fluther answers.
@loser – that is funny but makes me about half sad at the same time.
@CaseyWVU10 – my husband does that too, thankfully not always with the high kicks.
lurve to you all for your great answers
@rooeytoo – “sarcasm” comes from a root word meaning “to rend/tear flesh.”
@laureth – so what you are saying is that you can be sarcastic at any time so be prepared. I have that too sometimes, but I try to curb it!
Does not pick up on sarcasm or jokes. Says awkward and embarrassing things with startling regularity. Will get angry if ignored or not taken seriously. Has massive trouble understanding even slightly slurred or mumbled speech.
Swears often, please remove any and all sensitive types from the immediate area. Not good with children, and has no patience for stupidity.
This reminds me of the grilling apron I want that says. “Only a few people have died from my cooking. I think they had pre-existing conditions.”
It would be more of scribbled note on some looseleaf paper with a bit of blood on it, reading “PLEASE be careful… oh god, please HELP MEeee… all the bunnies… ahahahhahh… ahAHAHHAHhahuhuhmm…”
On the packaging it would say: ‘Open at your own risk. The company accepts no liability for any damage caused.’
WARNING! Don’t make her angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.
¡Advertencia! No la haga enojada. Usted no la quisiera cuando ella esta enojado.
警告! 彼女を怒っているようにしてはいけない。 彼女が怒っているとき彼女を好まない
AVERTISSEMENT! Ne la rendez pas fâchée. Vous ne la voudriez pas quand elle est fâchée.
ACHTUNG! Bilden Sie sie nicht verärgert. Sie möchten sie nicht, wenn sie verärgert ist.
@rooeytoo your label completely fits with the personna you have created in my mind based on your Fluther answers.
I told you so…
To prevent flaking, use sparingly and keep well oiled.
Another possible label:
Not responsible for death or injury whatsoever. No lawyers, no problems, no biggie. You’re the one who wanted me, anyway.
It is unlawful to use in manner other than indicated on packaging.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Fred. (I would link to the SNL skit, but it was removed)
Caution: Do not feed after midnight…
Also: Do not touch her hair without her express permission. Seriously, try it and she will bite you.
Consumer is strongly urged to have professional training in dealing with Neuroticism
The views expressed are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of Mainstream America.
<Danger> Gets angry when undersexed
Broken but keeps going anyway, sad, tearful. Smiles a lot when out in the world, so people don’t ask too many questions and leave me alone. Loves hugs. Counts blessings a lot.
@bunnygrl – haha, yeah for some reason, smiling a lot does seem to repell people. Lurve!!
<thows hugs for forestgeek> I’ve found a smile is a great way to hide :-) A colleague (and friend) at work recently confided in me that a relative had been diagnosed as being bi-polar and it clearly upset her, she was whispering as she told me. So I hugged her and said that’s the fun end of the scale at least she’ll have good days…. I’ve got clinical depression so my only mood is down I’m afraid.
She was genuinely shocked, God love her. She said if she had to pick one person at our work who was depressed she’d never have picked me. so maybe I’ve gotten good at hiding behind that smile. <hugs> xx
Is wearing pajamas under pants.
Moving parts may cause severe injury or death.
Beware of the KEYBLADE MASTER!
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