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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Do you know of any instance where cheating helped a broken relationship heal or made a weak relationship better?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26801points) December 12th, 2009

Has there ever been a relationship you know in which one party knew or learned of their partner cheating and it helped them grow closer either by causing the person who cheated to see what they really had to lose or what they were not gaining they thought they were, or that the person cheated on realized they were unavailable to their spouse emotionally or physically causing their spouse to feel neglected and seeking that lack of attention from another? Some even say you have to cheat to compare what you have to that you cheated with so you can appreciate what you have more. Who has known of a relationship that not only survived the cheating but caused the couples to grow stronger towards each other?

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11 Answers

faye's avatar

It wouldn’t make any relatuonship I was in better, just over.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

No, but apparently cheating on me helped my ex break up with me. In hindsight, the breakup was the best thing that could have happened to me.

chelseababyy's avatar

Yeah. When I found out I was being cheated on in an already abusive relationship it was the straw that broke the camels back. Because of that I finally had enough and moved on. It was the best thing ever (just like @La_chica_gomela said!)

Poser's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central No. We’re not going to give you permission to cheat. ;-)

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

Are you kidding?

No.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Poser Surely you jest? I do not want to cheat on my woman. The question comes from a conversation I had with a man who had been married for 35 year, I wanted to know how he did it since I have a wedding in the mix. He said, “You really want to know the secret? You have to cheat”. He said by cheating every few years it gave him a break from the same old, same old, and was something exciting and different. That is the main catalyst for the guestion.

Poser's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central I was jesting. The ;-) was supposed to give it away.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Poser Sorry, it was 4am in the morning and I did not see that on the end LOL

Jeruba's avatar

Yes, actually. When a man I knew had been married about 20 years and was feeling kind of blah about the whole thing, he got involved with another woman. He felt so guilty about it while it was going on that it caused him to go overboard in showering attention and affection on his wife. She caught on, and there was drama, but the treatment she’d been getting from him also brought her back to life and rekindled the marriage. In the end he broke off with the other woman and his wife forgave him, and they went on to have a better marriage than ever.

(I was not involved in this relationship in any way, incidentally. I just knew about it.)

This does not mean that it’s ok to cheat or that cheating is a good thing, but it’s a true answer anyway. It stands out because it’s the exception. Cheating usually destroys a relationship.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Jeruba I would guess the reasons why this came out OK and not a total melt down was because he really did not care to be in another relationship, but the other women was giving him what he had hoped to get from his wife; being the marriage had fallen on the blahs. Somewhere either he, her or both of them lost communication, they was existing in the same space but where not engaged. Had he got caught and not ‘fessed up to it, I think the results would have been far worse all around. Though I would not recommend having an affair to loosen the paths of communication I guess in THIS instance, it put a spot light on the would allowing it to get treated.

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