Social Question

Ame_Evil's avatar

Would you hate it if your S.O. posted naked pictures online?

Asked by Ame_Evil (3051points) December 13th, 2009

I ask this question because it recently occurred to me that I probably wouldn’t be jealous or annoyed if my partner posted nude pictures or videos online.

I probably would only find it so if it was directed at a certain person. Such as having webcam sex and stuff like that, or if it was posted after someone had requested for it. Also if they hid it from me I might be a bit annoyed but understood if it was due to honest reasons (like thinking I would be mad).

So what are your opinions?

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53 Answers

gemiwing's avatar

I would kill him dead. two times (okay I wouldn’t kill him but there were be words had. And none of them would be pretty)

King_of_Sexytown's avatar

Prolly not. Depends on a lot of circumstances though.

Facade's avatar

Yes; that’d be utterly disrespectful.

Ame_Evil's avatar

@King_of_Sexytown He/She is only posted naked pictures/videos on a website and read the comments but nothing more like getting someone to send him/her nude pictures in response.

Also another question needs to be asked. Do you mind if your S.O. masturbates to porn (if you are do not plan to have sex for a while)?

gradyjones's avatar

Yeah, I think that would bother me. Mostly because I don’t understand why someone would want to do that.

King_of_Sexytown's avatar

@Ame_Evil No on the masturbation question.
And the posting would also depend on how serious we were.

Oxymoron's avatar

Sure would. I’d probably ask why they did it and everything, it would be quite strange.

JLeslie's avatar

It would bother me a lot. Like @gradyjones I would want to know what motivated him to do such a thing.

casheroo's avatar

I would find it extremely bizarre behavior for him, and disrespectful to me (since I assume he’d be doing it behind my back?)
It’s one thing going into a relationship knowing that the person does that, but for them to do it while we’re together is unacceptable.

Jadey's avatar

Yeah, pretty much!

I wouldn’t feel particuarly disrespected, or feel like it was “wrong” to do. I really wouldn’t appreciate it though. It would be pretty weird, pretty off-putting and I would have a few choice words for him!

dpworkin's avatar

I have to admit, this question cracked me up, but I guess you would have to know my girlfriend to know why the idea is funny. She just… wouldn’t.

alquest's avatar

No i would not like it as we both knows well each others then why should one post naked photo to show public.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

That would be vastly inappropriate.. unless you’re so liberal that you’re in a relationship with a porn star… in which case.. they’re just working… right? o.O

bunnygrl's avatar

Good god that idea horrifies me in ways I can’t even put into words :-) so, er, I wouldn’t like it lol. A friend once let her hubby send naked pics of her to a “reader’s wives” type column in a mens magazine once, years ago, and I could not understand her agreeing to it. yuk.
hugs xx

CupcakesandTea's avatar

I would murder him lol!

La_chica_gomela's avatar

I don’t understand why so many people would be angry. We’re talking about a partner posting pictures of his or her own body, right? It’s his body, he can show photos of it to whoever he wants. I might think it was a little weird, but I can’t imagine a reason to be angry. Someone please explain it to me!

ratboy's avatar

I’d like to see my SO naked sometime.

JLeslie's avatar

@La_chica_gomela Because sharing yourself naked on the internet is inviting sexual attention by others and is totally tacky.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

Isn’t dressing in a sexy short dress to go out to dinner or a party inviting sexual attention by others, as well?

JLeslie's avatar

@La_chica_gomela yes it is. But would you walk into a dinner party naked? The web is a public place, that’s the point.

Xilas's avatar is the place for all your ex’s pictures

sakura's avatar

personal nude pictures should remain just that PERSONAL! I think its a bit mean if you post pics of your other half in compromising positions, they were taken as part of a trsting relationship, posting them on line could have all sorts of consequences… some one may lose their job over it!

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I wouldn’t like it a bit. Someone who felt the need to interact nude and/or sexually with others be it by webcam, video or pictures- that person wouldn’t be the right intimate partner for me. I’d go on a venting tirade and then feel cheated, depressed, deceived and angry for wanting someone who turned out to be not what I could stay with.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

@JLeslie: I guess you and I just have different opinions. My SO has gone skinny dipping (NAKED) in front of me and all our friends, and it didn’t bother me at all.

randomness's avatar

I wouldn’t have an issue with it. It wouldn’t make me mad at all. Heck, for all I know he does have naked pictures on the net.

ubersiren's avatar

If he wasn’t doing anything sexual (i.e. just standing there naked), and his face wasn’t shown, it wasn’t being done to show a specific person or persons, and he wasn’t trying to hide it from me, then I probably wouldn’t care. He can make an ass of himself all he wants. Though, I can never imagine this would happen.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

As much as I am madly in love with my girlfriend, it would probably be the end of us, if not close to it. But then I know she never would.

JLeslie's avatar

@La_chica_gomela That’s a different story. If we are all skinny dipping that is ok with me. That would be among a specific group of people and I am there.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

@JLeslie: What’s the difference? You said the situation in the original question would bother you because the person is “inviting sexual attention by others” and when I pointed out that people try to attract sexual attention from others by wearing sexy clothes, you said that you wouldn’t (actually you said I wouldn’t, which is making an assumption about me, but I’ll let that slide) go to a dinner party naked. Now you’re saying you would go out in public naked.

I still don’t understand how all of this explains why someone would be angry that their SO wanted other people to see them naked. In fact, it’s making me even more convinced of my original position.

After re-reading my answer, I had to add: Not trying to flame! I have 100% friendly feelings toward you! Sorry if that post came across as kind of rant-y. I guess it’s just because that point of view really doesn’t jive with mine, and I’m having a hard time understanding why anyone would take it.

JLeslie's avatar

@La_chica_gomela Each situation seems different to me. Mostly because I thnk there is a time and a place for everything. A dinner party in my mind requires clothing. A pool or beach usually would have a bathing suit, but if it was a group of friends who decided to go skinny dipping I would be ok with that or if it was specifically a nudist beach and I was there I probably would be ok with that also, although I probaby would not go to a nudist beach, but I go to topless beaches without a thought. And, even when I am topless on a beach, when I go to get something to eat at the cafe at the beach I put on a cover up, because it is not appropriate to be topless while eating at the cafe, even though it is right there at the beach. Time and place for everything. The internet is public around the world, and I don’t think it is the time or the place to be nude. And, I did not say you would not go to a dinner party nude, I did not assume such a thing I asked, “But would you walk into a dinner party naked?”

Meanwhile, I am not trying to say you should not be ok with it, different strokes for different folks. :).

King_of_Sexytown's avatar

@La_chica_gomela and JLeslie I think everyone should just move to a nudist colony and do everything naked and get over it already. No one was born with clothing and I don’t see what’s wrong with nudity for ANY occasion. DKNY may disagree but that is only cos they would go out of business.
In fact you both just reminded me of a question that has been on my mind for quite some time now. I will ask it and link you guys here if I can figure out how. Still kinda new here. Sorry.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

@La_chica_gomela I would personally be more than angry, because that is something that should be reserved for those in the relationship only. I don’t want some seedy 50 year old getting weak-kneed looking at pictures of my girlfriend. It cheapens the relationship, cheapens the person, and shows a significant lack of respect for the partner.

It would be a different issue altogether if the pictures existed before the relationship, but to do it while in a relationship is an insult to the partner.

JLeslie's avatar

@King_of_Sexytown If you want to live in a nudist colony have at it.

Violet's avatar

yes, and I would also talk to a lawyer

RubyReds's avatar

Yes I would. Thing is, why would he want to even do that – what is the motive behind it? Nope, he would be dead meat!!!!

La_chica_gomela's avatar

@Violet: What does a lawyer have to do with anything??????

@FireMadeFlesh: Well I’ve given up at understanding. I think I’m just different from you guys. I really appreciate you taking the time to craft an answer specifically to help me understand (THANK YOU!) but it just doesn’t compute with me. My relationship with my SO just isn’t about our bodies. They’re just one part like any other, and we’re pretty open about things. I don’t really care what people outside of the relationship think about him or get weak-kneed about. I understand that you do. I guess I’m just different.

@JLeslie: I guess things are just a lot more fluid in my life. The incident I was referring to really smears the lines between different “times and places for everything” around. A bunch of our friends were over at my house eating dessert and chatting, and he and a friend decided to go skinny dipping in my pool at my apartment complex. The rest of us followed and I took photos, and I’ve shown them to quite a few friends in various different situations. I never thought that much of it. There’s nothing sexual about the photos, but the OP’s question didn’t say there was anything sexual about the photos in the hypothetical situation.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

@La_chica_gomela Fair enough. As you say, relationships aren’t just about bodies. However, if any other part of our relationship was shared in that way I would be just as annoyed. If my girlfriend shared my hopes and dreams with someone else, if she went out to the movies with another guy, or if she went for a long walk along the beach with another guy, it would be just as bad. I’m naturally the jealous type, and I think there are definite boundaries of what is to be part of the relationship and what is to be public. If any of these boundaries are crossed, the relationship becomes far more open and not at all to my liking.

Violet's avatar

@La_chica_gomela – You really don’t know? I could sue him for damages

La_chica_gomela's avatar

@Violet: Damages for what? It’s his body!!!! The OP never said anything about the photos being of you!

La_chica_gomela's avatar

@FireMadeFlesh: I can understand that; the only part I don’t get is the comparison between her body, and your hopes and dreams. It seems like a false comparison—since it’s her body, wouldn’t it be analogous to her hopes and dreams? Again we’re just different because I’m happy for my SO to talk about his or my (or especially our collective) hopes and dreams do anyone who’s willing to listen. I think that’s a very important thing to flesh out and understand about one’s self, and by talking to different people, you can get all different points of view about it.

Besides that, I just don’t see things that way, to me, in the other scenarios you described, there’s a personal connection between your SO and a third party, walking on a beach, having a deep conversation. When one person puts photos online, they are alone, and when other people view them, the poster isn’t there. They can’t see the person’s reaction. They can’t talk to them. To me, there’s no connection between the person behind the photo, and the viewer. It’s all one-sided. The viewer may feel connected, but the person whose photo it is has no idea.

I understand that you see things differently, and that’s fine with me. I’m not trying to convince you of my point of view at all, just explaining it. :)

Violet's avatar

@La_chica_gomela – so the guy posted nude pictures of himself? The question doesn’t specifically say the pictures where of him or her. I assumed their were of her.

JLeslie's avatar

@La_chica_gomela I think the big difference is that the OP asked about them being posted online. Your example is photos you have shared with friends, but I would guess you have not put them up in a public forum like the internet, maybe you have? That is where it crosses the line for me. But, I do understand that when you thought about the question your mind jumped to this incident and mine jump to my husband putting up pictures specifically to share his body. I think your example is more about the party with your friends.

Blackberry's avatar

No I wouldn’t care. I have the attitude that it makes me happy, knowing people would be looking at her, while I’m the one with her lol.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

@La_chica_gomela My girlfriend does share almost everything with her friends, but not things about us both. Maybe you’re right about the analogy. I don’t understand your point of view, and you don’t share mine, so I guess all this means is that I could never date you! Thanks for the interesting thread.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

@JLeslie: I appreciate your point of view, but I’m really tired of having this discussion, honestly. Can we agree to disagree?

JLeslie's avatar

@La_chica_gomela Of course. I was not trying to change your point of view. I don’t think you are “wrong” in any way, no judgement. I was just trying to clarify. :).

bean's avatar

NOOOO! D: why! oh god!!!!!!

Oh…..... that one’s nice….....

clarice's avatar

What a douchebag!
I would fry his balls and feed them to my cat.
Then take pictures of that and post em online too.

dutchbrossis's avatar

My SO has before. So have I, no big deal with either of us. We don’t lie to each other or deceit each other.

I never have understood what the big deal is with nudity, that is the way we were born

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I would be suprised more than anything…

rahm_sahriv's avatar

I’d kill him. Then again I would not knowingly let a S.O. take pictures or vids. Sorry, relationships do not last and sometimes they end badly with one or both seeking revenge and naked pics or vids would be too easily used.

Justice13's avatar

…first of all, your S.O. has wayyyy to much time on their hands for starters…

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