Social Question

mammal's avatar

How would you feel if your life partner proclaimed that homosexuality was unnatural...

Asked by mammal (9431points) December 30th, 2009

….and that it was a `decadence’ ?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

51 Answers

Kayak8's avatar

Well, my life partner is gay, so I would be absolutely confused and verklempt

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

My only life partner was bisexual, so I would probably have heard the statement wrong.

Sarcasm's avatar

Unnatural != bad.
If she still supported gay marriage (and didn’t actively discriminate), I wouldn’t care.

jaytkay's avatar

I’m straight, but I wouldn’t become “life partner” with someone who proclaimed that homosexuality was unnatural.

figbash's avatar

deal. breaker.

bunnygrl's avatar

Well, I’d be very confused. Hubby has several gay friends at work and I’m sure, like me, he’d have very stern words if he heard anybody spouting such piffle, don’t think he’d resort to violence though, whereas I’m not at all a vilolent person either but might be tempted to give whoever it was a cuff round the ear or a whack with my walking stick :-)
hugs all xx

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

I’d probably question why I was with a person who had such a negative attitude about a group of people.

gemiwing's avatar

I would ask him if he hit his head recently.
I would want to know why they felt this way.

CMaz's avatar

Would it be proclaimed? Going no further.

Or, with the intent to protest?

Being my “life partner”, I would have to come to accept/respect their feelings.

jctennis123's avatar

Lets be realistic here. Sex is about reproduction. That’s the natural state of sex. Yes its also about getting to know the other person and love and all the stuff that humans have created. Just like eating is for nutrients and drinking is for thirst, sex is simply another biological desire to reproduce the human race. Lets be honest with ourselves, homosexuality is pretty unnatural if you’re looking at it from a “natural” point of view.

gemiwing's avatar

@jctennis123 Plenty of other mammals have homosexual sex so I don’t see it as being ‘unnatural’ from a biological standpoint.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Kayak8 you get a GA for use of the word verklempt
to the OP:
I would ask him if he got hit in the head.

jctennis123's avatar

@gemiwing Just because it is done in nature does not make it natural. Natural is not whatever I can catch some animals doing. Besides, mammals having homosexual sex is obviously the exception and not the norm in the animal kingdom.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@jctennis123 when the terms heterosexual and homosexual came into construction, the world of sex and the erotic was being redefined away from sex for reproduction to sex for pleasure..there was a time when the heterosexual was considered just as ‘perverse’ as the homosexual because it represented a different-sex desire for some other purpose than babies…these days, many so-called straight couples do not reproduce…we have an over populated world…one might say that from a biological point of view, it will soon be un-natural to have sex for babies. I highly recommend The Invention of Heterosexuality by Jonathat Ned Katz to you.

gemiwing's avatar

@jctennis123 I think you and I are going to have to agree to disagree on what the word ‘natural’ means.

Blackberry's avatar

That person wouldn’t be a ‘life partner’ because if they were, I would know them well enough to make sure they weren’t a bigot. If you don’t agree with it, how could something like that slip past you if they were your life partner lol. Aren’t you supposed to know pretty much everything about them?

jctennis123's avatar

@gemiwing Let’s agree to disagree! Fluther is such a classy site to have an argument!

jctennis123's avatar

@gemiwing I just caught my cat licking its butt. Is that natural?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@jctennis123 ah yes. the old ‘homosexuals are just like cat butts’ argument. wonderful

jaytkay's avatar

@jctennis123 <i>Lets be realistic here. Sex is about reproduction. That’s the natural state of sex.</i>

I think very few animals make the connection between sex and reproduction. Probably only humans.

And most human sex is for love or lust, not reproduction.

gemiwing's avatar

@jctennis123 Yes, for the cat. If you want to try and lick your butt, be my guest.

jackm's avatar

Being unnatural isn’t bad. If you mean its not the way nature intended, then you’d be right. Many practices in medicine are “unnatural”. Doesn’t make it evil or wrong though.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@jackm nature didn’t ‘intend’ anything – it just is, uness you bring religion into it, which I will not and hope this doesn’t deteriorate to an argument over that (again…)...I agree with you.

AnnieB's avatar

I would “feel” everyone is entitled to their own opinion. If he were to make a problem for couples in a homosexual relationship…I’d have to dump him….I have family and friends in homosexual relationships. I love my family and friends with all my heart, and if they are happy…I’m happy.

jaytkay's avatar

Shoes, eyeglasses and clothing are unnatural.

syz's avatar

@jctennis123 Actually, it is natural. Read Biological Exuberance by Bruce Baghemihl. There are quite a few conditions in the animal world in which homosexual animals contribute to the survival of a related gene (which is, of course, the basic tenant of reproduction – passing on the genes). It exists at a relatively fixed rate across pretty much all species. Therefore, homosexuality is not unnatural, merely a natural occurring variation.

fireinthepriory's avatar

Actually, I think I dated someone who did feel that way (the unnatural part anyway, not necessarily the “decadent” part which I don’t think I really understand…). Ironically, she’s gay, as am I. I was upset then, I would be upset if anyone else I dated felt that way. It was mostly self-loathing homophobia, which is bad enough, but I also couldn’t help but feel like the target of some of the hate/fear myself. It’s not a fun position to be in.

trailsillustrated's avatar

wouldn’t that be something you’d know about before you were ‘life partners??’

AnnieB's avatar

@trailsillustrated Ahhhhhh! YES! One would hope!

Haleth's avatar

@jctennis123 “Just because it is done in nature does not make it natural.” Actually, that is exactly what natural means.

If someone felt this way about homosexuality, they wouldn’t be my life partner. I couldn’t be with anyone who had this sort of prejudice. It shows a lack of empathy for other people.

stemnyjones's avatar

I would point out that there are homosexual animals in the wild, and that it has been proven that there are some genetics associated with homosexuality.

stemnyjones's avatar

BTW, @Haleth I was just thinking, “I believe the definition of natural IS something that occurs in nature..”

Good show. ;D

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@stemnyjones to me it doesn’t matter it it’s natural or not, whether it’s gene linked or not…it’s how people feel and I’m all right with it never having a cause

jctennis123's avatar

@syz ok I’ll check out the book, thanks for the recommendation

CMaz's avatar

“Plenty of other mammals have homosexual sex ”
“There are quite a few conditions in the animal world in which homosexual animals”

Theory and hearsay. If anything, projected human empathy towards animals.
Animals eat their young too. I guess cannibalism is ok?

The theory of animals being homosexual and or bi-sexual. Just depends on who’s book you read.

I have no problem with homosexuality. Just not crazy with information that is pulled out of peoples butts.

ccrow's avatar

I’ve been pondering this… it seems everyone takes it as implicit that the OP feels this would be a deal-breaker. All the answers go along w/this. So I wonder, is this really a ‘good’ question? I think people who don’t agree are not going to bother to answer this, unless they’re in the mood for a flame war. It seems to me this is not so much a discussion, as it is a group of like-minded people agreeing w/each other. This seems less of an actual discussion, than different ways of stating agreement.

tinyfaery's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You said: “ah yes. the old ‘homosexuals are just like cat butts’ argument. wonderful.” Soo funny! lol4rl

My life partner isn’t stupid.

Berserker's avatar

I’d be sorely disappointed, but I don’t know if I’d do anything about it…maybe leave him for a girl. Lulz.
But my boyfriend would never say that, he’s as liberal as they come.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Before I’ve ever entered into an exclusive relationship, I’ve found out how my partners felt about such things. It’s been important to me on many levels. Anyone proclaiming what you propose wouldn’t be happy with me or being part of my life/the people in it.

syz's avatar

@ChazMaz There was no issue of projected empathy or anthropomorphizing in my response, nor any hearsay. Do you really want me to reference research articles? I’ll be happy to do so – I can assure you that I pulled nothing from my butt.

CMaz's avatar

Do you really want me to reference research articles?
I have read the data and I can pull data to prove the opposite.
It is information from very educated individuals, providing theory and speculation. :-)

During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.
– George Orwell

syz's avatar

@ChazMaz Interesting. So it’s “truth” only if you agree with it?

Kayak8's avatar

In nature, there is the 13-gendered slime mold (the one with the higher number gives all of the genetic material to the offspring). There are hyenas that, because of their physical position in utero (females next to one male or two males), have behaviors as adults that might appear homosexual to humans who seem to need to judge and classify things as “like me” or “different from me” (and possibly dangerous to me and my tribe).

Nature is repleat with examples of things that don’t behave the way you might think they are going to. The only unnatural thing about consenting adult human sexual behavior (in my book) is when people act in a way that is alien to their true nature (e.g., pretending to be something they are not as a result of societal pressures).

If society didn’t have such draconian thoughts about gay folks, I wonder how many men would feel pressured to get married to women and see other men on the “down low.” They are unable to be who they really are; that behavior, to me, is unnatural, that of going against your own true nature. what bizarre sentence structure

LTaylor's avatar

Then my wife and I would agree on the subject.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I’d be hurt because it would mean that for the past few years he has been lying to me and pretending to be something he’s not. My partner is the most tolerant person I know and. althoough he is obviously straight, he has a live and let live atttitude. That is one of the things I love so much about him.

Nullo's avatar

I’m actually anticipating that my wife will have this outlook.

laureth's avatar

@Nullo: I suppose a more appropriate question for you, then, would be, “How would you feel if your life partner proclaimed that homosexuality was natural… and that it was just another perfectly normal way for people to be?”

If you go nosing around questions like this, your bias may not save you from being in the hot seat. ;)

Nullo's avatar

@laureth Watch me :D
* clears throat *

This is one of the things that I intend to clear up before the relationship really takes off, as I consider it and its necessary ramifications deal-breakers. Given the pools that I fish in, I don’t think that it’ll be a problem.

laureth's avatar

@Nullo – I feel the same way; it’s one of those things to check out before getting too serious. Of course, meeting my mom is a good way to separate the wheat from the chaff that way.

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