General Question

smile1's avatar

How do I not be so awkward around my friends?

Asked by smile1 (493points) April 2nd, 2010

I’ve known these friends since school started, and have gotten closer, but I still feel like the odd one out.

They have been best friends since elementary, so they know each other really well, and me, being the one who just met them, dont…

They talk about many TV shows for one…which I dont watch much of, so I cant talk about it…
then when they talk about other stuff, I feel really awkward (I know its only as awkward as I make it…but still), and dont really talk much. Then, sometimes, they would notice that I havnt said anything, and they would all turn to me, and ask “so, hows your life going?” or something like that….what am I supposed to answer? “good” and sit back silently? heh. I dont know, I really like them, and they are really cool people, but I just dont know how to talk to them.

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12 Answers

Likeradar's avatar

Well… they seem like nice people who are interested in your life. Seems like they like you and are trying to get you to open up.
What is going on in your life? Saying “good” gives them nothing to go on. Tell them what’s up… how are your classes? Are you in a fight with your mom? Looking for a job? Found a great new coffee shop? Think of something to say, and say it.

smile1's avatar

Yea, they really are wonderful people, and they truly are interested in what I do, as I dont really see them much.

I think they are trying to get me to open up as well, but I dont know how! their “culture”, and the way they talk is so different! I’ve never, up to this moment, had a really close knit group of friends. Before, I had friends, but never this close of friends.

Likeradar's avatar

@smile1 Be yourself. Talk the way you talk, and say things that are interesting to you. These people are obviously interested in you, and probably either don’t care or like how you’re different from them.

Parrappa's avatar

Making friends is tough, especially if your the new kid in a group. I know that my group of friends is probably tough to be around mainly because we make so many inside references that other people wouldn’t get. I don’t have much advice except that I believe only time will help you ease into the friendship and make things much easier.

smile1's avatar

Its just hard, I dont even know what I think when Im around them…haha

I mean, when Im around my friend that I have known for a while (but no longer living near me), I dont feel awkward around her, I just speak without thinking. When Im around this new group of friends, I think I think too much… But i dont know how to stop thinking too much…

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

I’m the exact same way. For me, it’s like coming in halfway through someone else’s conversation. I just think the bond they have within themselves isn’t as formed as yours is yet. I don’t mean that to be mean, I just can’t think of another way to say it. :)

Definately speak up. It sounds as though these people are really interested in you as a person. My advice would be to interject your own opinion or ask them questions about what they’re talking about. It’s rough, but trust me it will get better. It’s okay to be quiet if you want to, means you’re a good listener. Have faith, it will get easier.

smile1's avatar

I definitely hope things will get better! Its been so long!! (since school started in september its been like this!)

plethora's avatar

I have another suggestion. But, of course, Im a man and this is how I would solve it. Forget about the group for right now. Just do the best you can. But pick out the one person you feel most at ease with and make an opportunity to be with her for a few minutes and ask her questions about herself. Things that will draw her out and make her feel special. Im talking genuine interest here, not a trick. Then begin to work the group one by one. As you begin to make them feel liked and appreciated for who they are, they will be amazed that you are such a friendly person. Not everyone is an extrovert (thank God). This is how an introvert works it.

hug_of_war's avatar

My high school friends, most of them had been friends since elementary school and I had to find a way to fit in without all those memories. My best friend at the time was an atheist and I’m a theist. We had different interests but we latched on to the things we have in common. Okay so I couldn’t talk to them about some stuff but I soon felt integrated by creating new memories.

Just_Justine's avatar

I agree with @plethora GA! also when you are in the group or even away on it, don’t focus on the perceived negative points, like they all know each other and not you. Focus on the positives, they like you!

smile1's avatar

Hahah alright, @plethora, that sounds like a great idea, ill try it out!

plethora's avatar

@smile1 Well good…:) Keep us posted.

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