Social Question

weeeee's avatar

Any bi guys here who struggle with girls?

Asked by weeeee (62points) April 15th, 2010

I easily get gays interested in me but I find it almost impossible to get girls to start flirting with me or show any sort of interest.

Is there anyway I can over come this?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

22 Answers

iLove's avatar

It could be that you are attracting what you are. Do you prefer women or men? Women are intuitive creatures and if they feel your vibe that you are more strongly attracted to men they may find you unattainable. Are you metro sexual? Where are you going to meet women?

I am a bi-sexual woman who was asking myself the same question and I realized that attracting men was easier because that was my comfort zone. When I decided I wanted to date a woman, I found one. But I had to make it clear that I was interested.

I hope this helps.

Pandora's avatar

I think it probably would depend on two things. Are you trying to attract straight girls. If you are than many wouldn’t be interested in a guy they think can switch games at any moment. Plus its hard enough to keep guys from being interested in other girls, never mind that and other guys. That is the other half of the world. You probably would have an easier time with either a bi girl or at least a girl who may entertain the notion of having two guys at the same time in a three way.
I had a friend who fell in love with a bi female and he couldn’t take it after a while because he said he would always wonder when they were together if he was enough to keep her sexual interests because he felt he could never compete with a female. He was also worried that one day she will decide that she was confused all this time and she was really a lesbian.

beautifulbobby193's avatar

If you are behaving really camp it is most likely that women will see you as too soft to be considered a real man, hence you will not be considered for sexual intimacy. I can’t imagine many women
like the thoughts of sleeping with a flamboyant raging homosexual.

weeeee's avatar

Many girls have no idea I’m bi.

gemiwing's avatar

I think that comparing picking up men and picking up women to be fraught with peril. Women are used to being pursued in most cultures, yes there are exceptions-me being one of them, so it’s going to be a different ballgame naturally.

If you’re looking at the right kind of woman, are interested in what she has to say/feel/think and are a good person then I would chalk it up to dating being a numbers game.

weeeee's avatar

I just don’t think women fancy me, I’ve never had girls interested in me my whole life, it only seems guys like me.

hug_of_war's avatar

If I suspect a guy is into men I’m not going to show much interest. There are many ways you could be coming off as gay, both intentional and unintentional things. And while those things may help attract men what a straight woman finds attractive isn’t necessarily the same thing as a gay man.

limeaide's avatar

I think you are just experiencing what the vast majority of straight males experience. I think guys are so much easier. I’m straight and used to have thoughts all the time that if I was gay I’d get a lot more action. :)

Fyrius's avatar

Correct me if I miss the point, but I get the impression you’re much on the passive side and expect women to take the initiative like men would.
That doesn’t seem to be how it works. In general the guy is considered to be supposed to approach the girl, not the other way around. Girls who approach guys risk getting stigmatised for being loose. And for that matter, guys who let the girls make the first move also somewhat risk getting stigmatised for not being manly, or whatever.
It’s all very sexist like that.

bob_'s avatar

Is this who I think it is?

weeeee's avatar

Yes. ARGH!! This is the question I ask when I’m sad.

Strauss's avatar

~I’m not bi, but I like to struggle with girls…if they consent!

bob_'s avatar

@weeeee Just checking.

Pandora's avatar

@weeeee Many girls have no idea I’m bi
If you have a lot of female friends, either they are your friend because you think more like a girl than most guys do, or you may also occasionally glance at cute guys or make comments that make girls think you are on the fence.
My daughter had a friend in high school that was very open about sex. He swore up and down he was straight but there were always little things that gave the impression he was gay. His soft, voice, soft appearance and love of clothing and manuerisms where very questionable. He was pretty and dated many girls but never for long. He finally married the only girl in town that also had a questionable appearance. People where surprised, because they were sure he would hook up with a guy. I still beleived he was in denial. Sure enough, they broke up and he hooked up with a very flamboyant guy and then finally admitted he was gay. Not one person was shocked.

weeeee's avatar

Well my mum said she always news I was gay “even though I’m bi but she doesn’t accept that.) so girls may think I’m gay without me saying or not.

limeaide's avatar

I also get the same impression @Fyrius gets. This and a combination of my earlier answer I believe answers your question.

weeeee's avatar

With guys I just take a little look at a guy and we both know what each other are thinking and we take it from there but with girls I seem like I have to do it all and I have no idea what I’m doing.

Fyrius's avatar

Well, there you have it, then. You need to learn how to approach girls.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@weeeee Going off of your last statement, it sounds to me as if it really isn’t you that’s the problem – it’s the stereotypes and roles that society in general has pushed onto people. It’s unfortunate, but men generally do have to pursue women, not the other way around. You’ll just have to go after it harder with women. That said, if you ever notice a woman constantly glancing at you, smiling, etc. approach her, because she’ll have less of a problem letting you know that she’s into you. Another good way to tell if a woman is into you, by the way, is to lightly touch her arm or shoulder when you’re talking. If she doesn’t jerk her head down to look at your hand, but continues to hold eye contact, smiles, etc. as if nothing is out of the ordinary: It means she probably likes you.

evandad's avatar

Wait until they’ve taken the hook to spring your big surprise on them.

limeaide's avatar

@weeeee Well that is my world for sure, sucks but that’s how it works. Listen to @DrasticDreamer she’s right.

Arisztid's avatar

I am going to take a guess here, @weeeee . From how you write, specifically using the word “girls” vs. “women,” you are a young fellow, maybe teens or early 20’s. If I am wrong, please forgive.

First, I am a bisexual guy who has not had the difficulty you are encountering. I also have always been self confident (and had a few other things in my favor).. Self confidence, not arrogance and never impoliteness, seems to be quite the pull for the Ladies, both young and older.

It sounds to me like you are not experienced. Indeed, women are different than men in that most women do want to be pursued but not pressured, to be asked out. It takes a bit to become comfortable doing this, to know the signs when interest is reciprocated. @DrasticDreamer gave you some good advice on the latter.

I do not know if the following is advice that would work these days but I am going to tell you something that has seemed to be a positive for me over the years. My father was Romanian, his parents older when they bore him, and I learned Old World manners from him as well as to speak eloquently. I speak as I write on this website and have since I was a youth. I have found that such things have been welcomed by the Ladies, when I was a lad to this day.. Some these days do not seem to favor manners, but they have suited me over the years. I would imagine that attentiveness to your Lady and the like are still attractive.

You are hitting a patch in your life when you are wanting but do not know how to get there. Most guys have that. The following reassurance might not really help because it does not seem this way to you now; this phase shall pass as you learn how to approach the fairer sex.

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