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Captain_Fantasy's avatar

What would be the beneft of a monthly "Airing of Grievances" on Fluther?

Asked by Captain_Fantasy (11431points) April 23rd, 2010 from iPhone

We’ve seen some “heated debates” recenty.
Would a regularly scheduled session of “getting it all out in the open” help ease tensions?

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42 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

Nah, not for me. Life has too much else to offer.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Ease tension and relieve menstrural cramps.What is not to love about that?

ucme's avatar

I have no grievances whatsoever, no tension here.For me this would be redundant.

Trillian's avatar

I don’t think it would work for me. I have a good memory, but it’s really short. I prefer to air out my problems with others right then. If you tell me I pissed you off a week or two ago, I won’t remember what I said. If I go look, I’ll say “oh yeah, I did say that”, but I won’t remember why.

wundayatta's avatar

Hmmm. Let’s see. Yeah! We could form factions and spit vituperation at each other. That’s a big benefit. And we could all come down as hard as possible on timbedrews collective heads. That would be a laugh. Oh and we could try to tear apart the fabric of the community. Anyone got scissors?

Wow! The possibilities are endless. When can we start?

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

So does that mean we are unable to resolve our differences amicably?

marinelife's avatar

I think it would lend an air of importance to the grievances that they don’t deserve.

CMaz's avatar

I could not wait a month. ;-)

Besides, “heated debates” are about keeping it real.

Also, individuals that do have “heated debates” need to learn to not be so “heated.”

Berserker's avatar

I don’t think anything genuine is truly released unless it’s spontaneous. I mean, what has therapy ever done for anyone haha.

Of course that doesn’t mean that spontaneous heated interaction can’t be done maturely and constructively. But then when you tell people how they should act and take it upon yourself to indicate what is mature, constructive or intelligent and then proceed to tell em they’re doin it rong, it tends to breed moar of the same amirite?

Also wtf am I talking about.

ubersiren's avatar

I propose, instead, everyone get over it. :)

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I think that would be counterproductive. Whatever anger flared up on a question thread would just happen all over again on this monthly grievance session. People who want confrontation are going to get it, no matter how things are structured.

Personally, I’m tired of shit-slinging. I just say my piece and walk away. If you happen to agree with me, fine; if you don’t, DILLIGAF?

@Symbeline You got it exactly right, you certainly do know wtf you’re talking about. :^)

YARNLADY's avatar

No, most so-called grievances are just personality conflicts that need not be aired in public.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Only on Festivus.

gemiwing's avatar

Is it really worth it to make a thread of shit-spew? Some people just don’t get along.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@marinelife DILLIGAF=Do I Look Like I Give A F**k?

Jeruba's avatar

I think having a regular bitch session would encourage bitching without accomplishing anything.

CMaz's avatar

What is this AA?

thriftymaid's avatar

Nothing. This isn’t kindergarten.

Dog's avatar

Could we also have a monthly “kudos” type question to balance the negativity that would be generated?

I think instead of peace it would fuel the fires of discontentment. It would also normalize carry-over of hostility from question to question.

chyna's avatar

No. I think you should move on if you have a disagreement with someone. This is just a quesiton and answer site, not a place to hold grudges. So someone doesn’t agree with you? They don’t have to, it is their opinion.

gailcalled's avatar

Chyna and I never declare our furious arguments over everything publicly.

chyna's avatar

We just email each other our rage.

Cruiser's avatar

That’s not the kind of tension release I am after!

I kinda enjoy the randomness of the bitch routine here the way it is. Kind breaks up the monotony of some threads.

gailcalled's avatar

@Chyna; And then the animals arbitrate and find a compromise.

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

No need to have a forum to air grievances in my opinion. I know who I consider to be giant dildos and avoid them or PM them with my issue with them. Then, to calm myself, I retreat to my quarters and have a go with, umm, my giant dildo.

Berserker's avatar

@thriftymaid It isn’t? Aaaw…’‘Puts away toy blocks and pouts.’’

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I’ve spent a long time on sites where factional warfare was de rigeur. I admit to having been an alpha shit-stirrer. When I came to Fluther, I gave that up; I don’t even respond to simple disagreement. The “stop following” button is my best friend. If I have a real issue with someone, I’ll take it PM. This might seem cowardly, but my only alternative would be to start acting like Che Guevarra again. Even my feeble attempts at humor are intentionally self-deprecating.

Let’s try to keep Fluther a peaceful oasis in this wasteland of rudeness the internet has descended into. If you are having an overwhelming desire to throw a verbal Molotov Cocktail, there are many sites that not only allow but seem to welcome it. Just keep an account open on one of these “garbage sites” to use as a weapons test range.

gailcalled's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land: A daring use of metaphor and not a mixed one in sight.

Rangie's avatar

@ChazMaz AA is where someone doing the deed, stands up and admits it. I don’t think it is very likely for any of the real nasty flutherites will admit anything. Well almost none of them. I admit, I have lost my perspective and given in to my temper. A person can only take so much knit picking and then we lose the ability to be nice. I know I am guilty of that, and know when I am doing it. I sometime feel like I am on the bottom of the pile and I can’t breathe. I like a good debate as much as the next person, but we are getting too personal and down right rude. Great Question

Rangie's avatar

@chyna I tried to PM my grievances, and was told never to PM them again. So now what do you do?

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Rangie This is where the moderators have to come in. When I first came to Fluther, I had a similar problem of certain people trying to provoke me into my “old” behavior pattern. Initially, I did return fire, but quickly learned that the moderators here actually care and are allowed to do their jobs without interference. Quite a different situation than most other sites. The rule here is “flag, don’t flame”. I’ve even flagged myself on several occasions where I realized that I’d said something unhelpful and the “edit period” had expired.

You’re analogy to AA is quite good. Maybe we need a thread for regular FA (Flamers Anonymous) “meetings”.

YARNLADY's avatar

@Rangie If you have an issue that needs resolved, use the contact button before you go PM.

Rangie's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I am learning slowly, but surely. Sometime, the mods don’t hear us. Maybe they are busy on another thread. I can understand that. This was a good question. Maybe we can just vent on a thread every now and then. We can call it “THE VENT” :)

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@YARNLADY I thought the “contact” function was for structural problems (glitches), sort of a direct pipeline to the founders. I never thought of using that as an appropriate channel for resolving personal conflicts. I’m probably wrong, being a relative newbie.

YARNLADY's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land All issues can be solved through the ‘contact’ function.

Rangie's avatar

@YARNLADY Thank you, I didn’t know that.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I’m relatively new so I’m still getting adjusted to Fluther, but I don’t see the point in having a thread just to have a bitchfest. It’ll just encourage more people to jump in and gang up on each other.

zen_'s avatar

How about daily kvetching.

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