General Question

Jude's avatar

For you, how much of it do you think is a lack of self-confidence (that holds you back)

Asked by Jude (32134points) June 21st, 2010

What really holds you back from doing what you want to do; do you think that it’s a lack of self-confidence?

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27 Answers

anartist's avatar

About 99%. I have been told more than once, and at very different stages of my life, that I had the uncanny ability to “snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.” [Anthony Burgess, I think]

dpworkin's avatar

I don’t think it matters. I think there are tools to deal with psychogenic maladaptive behaviors.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

No.I am doing what I really want to do…almost ;)

CMaz's avatar

I would say… 20%. coming from something deep withing my noggin.
Some repressed childhood trauma. Like killing my brother chicken.

partyparty's avatar

For the most I do exactly what I want to be doing. Well for 99% of the time. I know I am fortunate.

josie's avatar

Reasoned self confidence is the starting point for every successful endeavor.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I don’t think my self-confidence holds me back at all. The only thing keeping me from 100% doing what I want right now is our personal situation and where we are living. I made a choice based on what is best for our family because I know it’s only temporary.

CaptainHarley's avatar

For most people, it takes time to build self-confidence, moving through achieving several goals of ever-increasing difficulty. Some few people seem to have a type of built-in self-confidence, almost from birth. I am not talking here about self-image, which is something the school system dreged up in an attempt to teach self-confidence without the necessry discipline. Like most things worth having, self-confidence must be built like a brick building, one brick at a time.

Sometimes it helps to realize that many others have been right where you are now in your life, and have gone on to overcome adversity and reach their goals. [ more about this later ]

Jude's avatar

@CaptainHarley Great answer! Thanks!

iphigeneia's avatar

A lot, certainly. But I also believe that if I did have the confidence to go and tackle my wildest dreams, that confidence would be ill-founded. I know what my talents are, and what they aren’t, and I know that even if confidence is key, in the end you need more than that to be successful.

CaptainHarley's avatar


Welcome… just something I had to learn the hard way. : )

Facade's avatar

Less than 2%. I just haven’t pursued much. I just woke up, so it’s too early to think about why lol

Cruiser's avatar

Mine is my responsibility to my kids otherwise I would be in a different time zone! ;)

Nullo's avatar

Quite a lot.

Coloma's avatar

I have arrived at that great time of life where confidence takes a backseat to ’ who cares.’ lol

I am a confident person but, the thing is, I no longer feel the need to do or prove anything to myself or others.

I KNOW I can do, be, have anything I desire…I just have little desire anymore.

Not to be confused with apathy, more just that I have mastered the fine art of detatchment and now, whatever I do, I do because it is fun, interesting, novel, diverse and not from a place of ‘needing’ to inflate my sense of self worth.

It’s all pretty effortless, as it should be. :-)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Many of my barriers revolve around money not my own qualities.

tinyfaery's avatar

I have confidence that even as I succeed I fuck things up. It’s not lack of confidence, it’s my own personal history that holds me back.

KhiaKarma's avatar

For me, I figure I can pretty much do anything I put my mind to- determination goes a long way. When I don’t push forward it’s usually due to a case of the “i don’t wannas” (laziness or feeling it’s pointless) rather than“I don’t think I can” (self-esteem).

janbb's avatar

It must be my lack of self-confidence that is holding me back, because everything else about me is perfect.

free_fallin's avatar

The things I really want to do involve more time and energy than I have to spend right now. I have confidence but my needs are more important than the wants at the moment.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

Self confidence has to be tempered by a realistic assessment of ones own abilities. In areas where one lacks basic aptitude, all the self confidence in the world won’t help. Excessive self confidence can cause you to make a fool of yourself or lead you into danger.

Coloma's avatar

Yep, knowing your limits is important.

Today my neighbors green horse escaped and I noticed myself being extra cautious around her, she is a big wild girl and was scared of the street….( as in our mellow road ).

I no longer over estimate my horsey skills, we both led her crosstied back to the paddock but I was thinking, ’ if this mare gets sideways on me I am going to get hurt.’

I am done with renegade horses, dogs and men, confidence be damned, I just want peace! lol

janbb's avatar

@Coloma Is a “green” horse one that hasn’t been broken in yet?

Coloma's avatar


Yes, she is still a youngster lerning her manners. Not mean, just big and frisky. lol

mowens's avatar

I do whatever I want whenever I want, as ,o g as it is inside my moral scope.

mattbrowne's avatar

It’s also about being realistic. I know I won’t qualify to become a Mars astronaut although I’d love to visit the planet. I do stuff I know I’m good about.

Ron_C's avatar

I remember being young and worrying about working on a new project only to find that the project went well and it was easier than I thought. Now I specialize in the new and different in the U.S. and throughout the world. It is a lot more fun when you approach a new situation with the attitude that “I’m going to learn something new”, instead of “will I be able to do that?”.

I think that my self confidence level is just about right, all I needed was 50 years to learn.

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