Social Question

chelle21689's avatar

What would you do if you were visiting but then had to be by yourself?

Asked by chelle21689 (6913points) June 30th, 2010

I’m so stressed out right now. I’m visiting my boyfriend next week and it turns out he has 3 day drills in the Army and has to sleep out in the fields. I’ll basically be by myself for the most part. He convinced me to extend my stay for two days so I did and that was $129.

Just yesterday he found out he’s leaving for Philadelphia for two day training on the SAME DAY I’M leaving. Only he’s leaving early morning and I’ll be leaving at night.

God! All this money spending and money wasting…I’ll be by myself AGAIN on my last day with nothing to do, BY MYSELF, with no one I know!! I really want to buy another one way ticket but it’s very expensive right now.

What would you do if you were going to be by yourself and you’re in my shoes? I’m just so angry about all this and it’s completely stressing me out. I feel like the trip is going to be MISERABLE!

EDIT can he cancel the trip???? I mean it was optional, they just asked who wanted to go and he said he did. He just found out the date yesterday…so can he have the option of NOT GOING after telling them “yes”? I mean it was an option to go

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25 Answers

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Are you sure his explanations are valid? Is he trying to distance himself from you?
If not, great.

lillycoyote's avatar

Are you saying that you will by by yourself for a single day? Just one day? Honestly, find something to do. Ask your boyfriend if there isn’t something do to in the area that you might find interesting. You can’t amuse yourself for a single day?

jazmina88's avatar

poke around, shopping…....reading…..

partyparty's avatar

Perhaps he has said ‘yes’ because it will further his career in the army.

If you are going to spend the day alone, then make the most of it. Are there places in the area you could go to? Local art galleries, museums, parks, shopping etc etc. Or just spend your time relaxing.

Alone times can be good, We don’t often get this in the busy world we live in.

cookieman's avatar

Relax, read, visit some local galleries or shops. Take it as an opportunity to unwind.

Then make the best of what time you do have with the BF. wink, wink, nudge, nudge

Take it in stride. You’ll both be better off for it.

partyparty's avatar

@cprevite LOLL love your answer!

josie's avatar

Philadelphia is a great town. No shortage of things to see and do. I suggest you diminish the drama and get a visitors guide to Philadelphia. It was almost the capital of the USA for heaven’s sake.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

It’s a shame that the timing of the visit isn’t panning out to be what you two expected. Only your boyfriend can answer whether he can get out of going on the optional trip or not. If I were you, I’d ask my BF to introduce me to some of the other women on the base.

It will be a good experience for you, if you plan to continue this relationship. He’s in the Army, after all.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@chelle21689 Pied Pfeffer just gave you the most important words in this thread. “He’s in the Army, after all”. Think those over very carefully.

marinelife's avatar

Why do you have two of the same questions posted?

gailcalled's avatar

The Phila. Art Museum is wonderful (Rocky ran up those steps) and you can then walk along the river and see everyone either rowing, biking, jogging or just enjoying life.)

The area around Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell has good and easy maps for walking tours. It’s a nice and manageable city. Have a Philly cheese steak (with lots of napkins) for lunch.

cookieman's avatar

@partyparty: Thanks. :^)

@josie: ”diminish the drama”—That should be a bumper sticker.

@Pied_Pfeffer: ”if you plan to continue this relationship. He’s in the Army, after all.”—This is great advice.

wundayatta's avatar

Come into town. There’s a train that’ll cost you maybe $5 or you can take a taxi for around $25. You can see the Liberty Bell and the Constitution Center and all that. You walk walk down to South Street and browse the funky stores and tattoo parlors. Have a cheesesteak or go to Alyan’s for middle eastern food if you like that.

Or, I don’t know. Do you like shampoos and bath soaps? There’s a Lush downtown. Go to the Reading Terminal Market and browse around and have lunch. Check out Logan Circle. Head on up to the Art Museum, if only to sit on the steps and look at the city. Or wander over to the little pavilion overlooking the river and contemplate the water for a while. If you must, go see the Rocky statue down by the road.

There’s the Natural history museum by Logan Circle as well. You could go to Love Park and see the love statue. Maybe get someone to take your picture standing under it. Oh—if you want to see a museum you’ll never see anywhere else, try the Mutter Museum. It’s one of the weirdest museums ever. In fact, I think I’d put that on top of my list. Then I’d go hang out in Rittenhouse Square.

There’s so much to do and see in Philly. Maybe you could host a little gathering of Philly jellies for lunch. I’d love to go, but I won’t be in town that week.

Have fun!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

If the drills and trips were mandatory for him and were presented after he’d made plans for your visit then I’d say you have to accept the military as part of him right now. That you wrote he chose to schedule a voluntary trip after asking you to pay to extend your trip then I say he’s an inconsiderate idiot and should reimburse you for the extra ticket.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

I think I missed something. The OP said that the boyfriend is heading to Philly the day she (or he) leaves. I didn’t take it to mean that the OP is also heading to Philly, just that Army guy will be leaving the base before she/he does.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Gailcalled gave you a great tip. The Phila Museum of Art is spectacular. That would take me a day minimum. The parks are pretty nice too, just be careful since you’re alone.

wundayatta's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe just be careful since you’re alone

Bullshit! The parks are just fine. I don’t know where you get your ideas, but that sure is a stinker. What parks are you even talking about? The only park that will be anywhere convenient if she goes to the Art Museum is the part of the park along the River, and that is filled with people, anyway.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Okay, how about him reimbursing you for half of the $129.00 since his voluntary trip eats up 1 of the two days he suggested you spring for? Sorry for not editing my harsh quickly enough but I think this stinks.

chelle21689's avatar

He said volunteered to go but he didn’t know that it was going to be that day when I was leaving. He just found out about it.

I should make him pay huh?

And I guess to clarify myself…he’s leaving Los angeles for Phildaelphia in the MORNING and I’ll be leaving the city late at night.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@wundayatta Mellow. I didn’t mean that as get your mace ready and don’t carry any cash. Just a general warning to anyone alone as opposed to a group. That was her question, alone.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@chelle21689
As in dating, I believe the one who asks is the one who should offer to pay. If it’s trips between long distance people then I feel the costs should be split. That he suggested you stay an extra two days regardless of plans that came up, I feel he should pay all of it but you could settle on accepting half. Also, I dunno if I’d want to invest in more visits, just me but I’d be turned off by a guy who asked me to pay for so much.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@Neizvestnaya Don’t you think that who pays for the travel cost should be discussed on the front end or when changes need to be made?

If the OP wants to change the departure flight now so as not to be alone for the day, then he/she can work that out with Army guy. I don’t think cost is the real issue, just a sidebar. I could be wrong.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer
I most definitely feel the costs of travel should be agreed upon up front so no one feels taken advantage of or put out or put upon.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Thank you for your polite response. I just re-read your post and see that you used “offer to” and not “pay”. Please accept my apology for misreading and making an assumption.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Explore the area, get to know his friends better (maybe you could spend the day with them if they are still going to be there).

Most of all, focus on the time you have together. Don’t let the time you are going to be apart ruin the visit. Remember that by extending, you get a full extra day together. Life happens.

The military is constantly changing. It can be very hard to plan things around the military and their training schedules. Focus on the good, not the bad, and remember that you are getting to see him and spend time with him.

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