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WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Anybody want an update on my "mother situation", and have any of you had issues resolved lately?

Asked by WillWorkForChocolate (23142points) August 22nd, 2010

The original question was http://www.fluther.com/90949/how-do-i-approach-my-controlling-manipulative-mother-about-her-behavior/.

I just had a three hour conversation with her and we talked about a LOT of important things. I managed to bring things up without sounding like I was attacking her, and she actually listened without going on the defensive like she usually does! It was an amazing conversation, and we have a mommy daughter date set up for this week to talk some more.

I’m sure most of you don’t really care, but I feel so lighthearted and happy about getting all this weight off my chest, I just had to scream “hooray” about it somewhere!!

Have any of you had any similar family issues that you resolved and felt that enormous black cloud go away?

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10 Answers

Frenchfry's avatar

That’s awesome. I have had that happen when I got pissed at my sister didn’t talk to her for a couple of years. It takes communicaton and a whole lot of staying calm. Good for you.

SamIAm's avatar

it’s really refreshing to rekindle a friendship or relationship… especially with someone where there is unconditional love. just remember to breathe. very happy for you!!! :)

jazmina88's avatar

Yippee. I tried to talk to Mummy about boundaries yesterday. I kept calm. But the trouble is still up.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I’m happy it’s working out for you, @WillWorkForChocolate!

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Yay! I can totally sympathize, because my mother is boundary-less and awful as well.

MissA's avatar

Your second 2nd chance at a mother/daughter relationship will be to have a great one between you and your daughter.

Just curious. Why the about face? After all this time it, out of the blue, just changes?

MissA's avatar

I just re-read your initial question, “How do I approach my controlling, manipulative mother about her behavior without damaging our relationship?” What were you trying NOT to damage with those descriptive words?

Just trying to understand. This is interesting.

john65pennington's avatar

She will always be your mother, no matter what. she is your blood. i am thrilled that you two had a decent conversation. i am thrilled that you had your say in a sensible way. there is nothing better than to get something off your chest and the outcome is beautiful.

You were blessed. you only have one mother, so stay close to her.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@MissA I’m not sure what you mean about me doing an “about face”.

And what I was trying to not damage were the good parts of our relationship. I honestly love her beyond words, but she was pushing too far with a lot of things, which was damaging the relationships I have with my daughter and my husband, and she was beginning to drive me away with her controlling behavior.

MissA's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate I meant why the about face for her? Hey, you’ve worked it out…that’s all that matters. Good for you ALL, I’m sure it has been stressful on everyone.

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