Social Question

superjuicebox's avatar

What is the ultimate naughty joke ?

Asked by superjuicebox (383points) September 2nd, 2010

what is it ?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

21 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

Your mom jokes? For some reason, with the right timing, they can still be funny after so many years.

Austinlad's avatar

How can that be answered? Degree of naughty is in the ear of the behearer.

muppetish's avatar

The best filthy jokes are in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. Nobody in the history of the English language could possibly use the word “queynte” in a more bizarrely amusing context than Chaucer. But you have to read it in Middle English. Translations are for chickens.

I also like Shakespeare’s filthy jokes. So Hamlet asks, “Do you think I meant country matters?” They’ll go right over your head if you aren’t looking for them.

Your_Majesty's avatar

“What is the best position during your sex?”

janbb's avatar

The Aristocrats is a film about comedians telling what is supposed to be the dirtiest joke in the world.

El_Cadejo's avatar

The aristocrats ftw…

Whats the worst part about having sex with your grandmother?
Did you ever try and pull apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

rebbel's avatar

That reminds me of a Dutch tv host when interviewing a celebrity they talk about that movie and he…., well, read it yourself please here (scroll to the paragraph that starts with Sometimes, Ivo….

frdelrosario's avatar

I think anyone who’s interested in the art and science of comedy should study “The Aristocrats” documentary, and take copious notes.

BoBo1946's avatar

A beautiful young woman wants to meet Santa Claus, so she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave when the woman says in a sexy voice, “Oh Santa, please stay.”

Santa replies, “Ho ho ho, gotta go, gotta go, gotta get the presents to the children, you know.”

The woman drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice, “Oh Santa, please stay.”

Santa replies, “Ho ho ho, gotta go, gotta go, gotta get the presents to the children, you know,” but he begins to sweat.

The woman takes off the bra and says, “Oh Santa… please… stay.”

Santa replies, “Ho ho ho, gotta go, gotta go, gotta get the presents to the children ,you know.” Santa wipes his brow.

She loses the panties and says, “Oh Santa… please… stay.”

Santa, with sweat pouring off his brow says, “Hey hey hey, gotta stay, gotta stay, can’t get up the chimney with my pecker this way.”

BoBo1946's avatar

This is funny…

Midget Nuns?

The seven dwarfs were in a Catholic church. They were sitting near the rear and as the priest was speaking, they whispered and giggled amongst themselves, causing quite a disturbance. All of a sudden, Dopey stands up and says,

“Priest, are there any midget nuns in the church?”

“No,” said the priest.

Soon, Dopey stands up again and asks, “Priest, are there any midget nuns in the city?”

“No, my son, there are no midget nuns in the city or in the church,” says the priest.

Again the dwarfs resume their annoying giggling to the dismay of the priest. Once again, Dopey stands up and asks, “Priest, are there any midget nuns in the state?”

“No, my son, there are no midget nuns in the state, in the city, and no midget nuns in the church!” exclaimed the priest, obviously upset. The dwarfs continue their interference.

Dopey stands up and asks, “Priest, are there any midget nuns in the country?”

The priest, totally angered, exclaims “No, my son, there are no midget nuns in the church, in the city, in the state, in the country, there are no midget nuns in the whole world! Now sit down!!”

Soon afterwards, a chant could be heard from the rear of the church, “Dopey fucked a penguin. Dopey fucked a penguin.”

janbb's avatar

@BoBo1946 We prefer to be referred to as avians of color.

BoBo1946's avatar


BoBo1946's avatar

What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
What’s the speed limit of sex?
68; at 69 you have to turn around.
What’s the ultimate rejection?
When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio’s face, and moaning, “Lie to me!”
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
“How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago.”

BoBo1946's avatar

sorry, i just had to share those…just thought they were hilarious.

ucme's avatar

Two old guys sitting on a bench. They see a penis run by, chasing a vagina. One guy says to the other, “What the hell was that!” To which the second old fella replies, “Why it’s just one fucking thing after another round here!!” Naughty Naughty!!

Trillian's avatar

Hah! What are the four bad things about being an egg?
You only get laid once
you only get hard once
you only get eaten once and
the only one to sit on your face is your mother!

Nicole8's avatar

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his pen*s.

A woman walks past and says a bit snidely, “If you were a gentleman, you’d lift your hat.”

He raised an eyebrow and replied, “If you weren’t so ugly it’d lift itself.”

superjuicebox's avatar

@ All of you, lmao nice, most of these are funny as hell :D yay !

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