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muppetish's avatar

What in your home is currently nonfunctional?

Asked by muppetish (14013points) September 30th, 2010

In Married… with Children, and more recently in Modern Family, there was a running gag that a step (to the basement and upstairs stairwell, respectively) was broken and required attention. Jokes like these have always made me laugh because when something breaks in my house, it usually stays broken unless it becomes an overt hindrance (for example – the garage door wouldn’t close and needed to be replaced.)

For over a decade, the lock to the master bathroom has been nonfunctional. You can push the door open without any trouble (a simple tap will do.) The toilet in the washroom my siblings and I share has not worked for several months now. Our oven sputters in and out of functionality (it has to be lit manually if we want to use it.) I cannot remember the last time we ran the dishwasher (when it started leaking all over the kitchen tiles, I suppose my mum figured it would be a lesser hassle to wash our dishes in the sink.)

I’m sure there are bound to be far more Fixit foxes here ready with a tool kit to keep things operational, but surely someone else either grew up in or currently lives in a house with nonfunctional facets that have been left ignored.

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24 Answers

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

One of the outlets is too loose to hold a plug. A couple of tiles fell off the shower. I need to put a garbage disposal in the kitchen sink.
Other than that, it’s mostly crap paint jobs and just God-awful fake wood paneling.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Besides ME, at the moment things are pretty smooth. There are times though when things don’t function and they all usually choose the same period to break down!!!! Weird but true.

muppetish's avatar

@ZEPHYRA I know what you mean about things breaking down at the same time. My phone has gone berserk on me because it is in want of a new battery and now my laptop has decided this is the perfect opportunity to screw with my head. I swear there’s an electronic conspiracy going on.

deni's avatar

leaky cold water faucet in the bathroom. this isn’t “broken”, but i recently bought a hanging cactus plant and we still have not hung it. that is getting annoying. if i run into it once more, i fear i may come down with cactus scratch fever.

lillycoyote's avatar

No, but a big fucking, godawful, goddamn leak in the ceiling just appeared tonight, a couple of hours ago, in the spare bedroom. Excuse my french but it is absolutely the last thing in the world I need right now. Compared to that, everything else that is non-functional in the house, I can live with. And 3 hours ago I would have answered this question with some amusing, hopefully, kvetching and a lot less swearing, about how everything in my house was breaking down at the same time but this I just something I really do not need right now.

Brian1946's avatar

A TV set that’s been OOS for 13 years.
A dishwasher that hasn’t worked for 35 years.
A stereo system that’s been OOS since 1994.

I think that’s about it for now.

Blueroses's avatar

It would be a shorter list to name the things that work the way they were intended.
My stove and fridge are great and the internet works fine, so I’m set here.

muppetish's avatar

@deni Two years ago, my dad bought me a lovely painting that has all the Beatles album covers on it. It’s in the hallway and not on a wall. We have a tendency to put things like that off, too.

@lillycoyote Ack, I’m dreadfully sorry for that. Feel free to use as many expletives as necessary.

YARNLADY's avatar

One of our toilets gets stuffed up regularly, so we keep a plunger and some liquid drain opener in the bathroom.

Frenchfry's avatar

Hee hee My toilet handle you have to wiggle or the toilet stays running! I have ask my husband to fix it for over 6 months. I get yeah! yeah!

DominicX's avatar

The internet and TV have been faulty since I moved in. Everything seems to be working right now and hopefully will be fine from now on, but I’m not holding my breath…

Brian1946's avatar


If your internet and TV are provided by the same company, then they might have had service issues which they’ve now resolved.

Either way, please continue breathing. ;-)

NaturallyMe's avatar

The en suite toilet! It leaks a little bit of water (inside the bowl), so i tighten the screw in the water pipe next to the loo to stop it from leaking. It’s very annoying, because if you forget to un-tighten it again, your tank is empty and you have to wait for it to refill before you can flush.

jrpowell's avatar

This is why we rent. Owning a house can fuck off. One call and our stuff gets fixed for free.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Everything works but a few things not well so like @johnpowell, we sent in an email to our property manager and all will be promptly seen to. I’m hoping it will be fixed too.

BoBo1946's avatar

Z, you beat me to the punch! Like Z, me! Other than that, my fountain (water fall…needs a new pump) is not working.

misstrikcy's avatar

I’m in my 2nd month without a kitchen, no sink, no oven, no work tops, no running water! No nothing. Sigh…
My dad decided to refurb the kitchen in summer, but what he didn’t say was that he only intended to spend 5 minutes a day working on it. So it’s just taking forever.
I adore my dad but it’s driving me crazy.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

The cordless phone only works if it is put on speaker. The land-line phone doesn’t dial out. The cell phone has been dead for a couple of weeks now. Apparently, the telephone gods are not pleased with my sacrifices in their honor.

gravity's avatar

I have a linksys wireless router that I can’t get to work and called the tech support but after 45 minutes on the phone with them I told them this was stressing me out on my day off and I didn’t expect it to take that long to reconfigure the silly thing. I told her I had to go so… it still isn’t working. I just bought an air card for my laptop and love it but am paying out the butt for internet for my desktop (cable) and then for my aircard too. oh well…
Any other problems I just call the property managers and they send someone right out to fix it. I am bad about waiting a few months before I get around to doing that though.

partyparty's avatar

My SO….. just can’t get him to fix things at the moment… he is reading a really good book :)

SuperMouse's avatar

The dishwasher and the remote for my garage door opener. Oh and I still have yet to figure out how to hook up the really cool VCR/DVD combo thing I bought about six years ago to burn my tapes to DVD.

woodcutter's avatar

the water/ ice maker in our fridge. I’m thinking it will cost an arm and a leg to repair it. Alot of our stuff has been around for decades,some features don’t work on most things but we get around it by using other features more or deciding we don’t really need them anyway.

muppetish's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer Our home phone had a similarly odd conspiracy: incoming calls would not work (the person on the other end could be heard but they couldn’t hear us) while outgoing calls worked perfectly. We replaced the nuisance. It wasn’t worth trying to figure out.

@misstrikcy Wow, what have you been doing in the mean time?

misstrikcy's avatar

@muppetish Spending an absolute fortune on eating out & take aways, so when I can I stay at my boyfriends and use his facilities.

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