General Question

hurleygrlblink's avatar

Why do I have such low self esteem?

Asked by hurleygrlblink (185points) March 30th, 2008

Ok I must admit I have put on a few since I gradutated high school in 2004, but it doesn’t seem to just be that, I just totally can’t seem to except my body and it is really effecting other areas in my life like my marriage, my social life, and my sex life. I know I could loose the weight, but this depressed state the weight gain has caused makes me not care anymore. Whats wrong with me! It seems that since my personal image is so important to me, that it would be the normal thing to take the initiative and just diet and work out and loose this weight that is causing all the problems, but its almost as if I dont appreciate myself enough anymore to do anything about it. Ok that’s my ordeal in a nutshell, hopefully there are some psychologist online tonight haha. HELP!

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14 Answers

lovelyy's avatar

well i am not a psychologist but i do sometimes feel the same as you minus the marriage part. i’ve recently started watching this show on tlc it’s called “i can make you thin” it’s actually a really awesome/helpful program. go to the website.
hope it helps.

KimboSlice's avatar

it just sounds like you are too lazy to take initiative. Find out what you really want and seek it.

sndfreQ's avatar

Don’t rule out the possibility that there could be other factors affecting your mood and depressive state. A close friend of mine had similar symptoms, and only after numerous tests found out that she had Thyroid problems that affected mood, hormones and metabolism. Hang in there! Go see a doctor, and focus on the positive aspects of your life and the future.

TheHaight's avatar

oh my god! @lovelyy: I was just watching his show right now. I love his whole “picture your craving like… Chocolate and imagine worms all over the chocolate (or something you hate). He’s great.

Hurleygrlblink. Us girls all seem to go through what you are going through. Do you have a friend you can go with to the gym, or jogging at the park? Friends seem to help ne out the most, and just not procrastinating!!! Please don’t. Good luck, and know ittl only get better… Its all up to you, though.

hurleygrlblink's avatar

@ sndfreQ-Thank you! I will look into that! very helpfull
@ Kimbo- I’m the complete opposite of lazy! I work 40–50 hours a week, I strive for my goals and work very hard to be the best at my profession and every other life goal I want to achieve, and I dont believe that lazyness is to blame, (no hostility btw) thats what makes me so confused on whats going on with me, thanks for your reponse though!

KimboSlice's avatar

I didnt mean to sound offensive. But it is what it is. If you want to get thinner than you have to work for it

TheHaight's avatar

@kimboslice: of course you have to work for it, but it isn’t that easy and hurleygirlblnk just needs a little push and some friendly advice.

Bsilver's avatar

I may not be the best person, or most qualified person to answer, but I’ll give it a slice. If your user avatar is any indication, and without sounding creeptacular, you’re beautiful. I don’t care what anyone else says. Nearly every single one of my female friends says at some point, “I’m so ugly!” or something of the sort. And I always respond by telling them that they are beautiful, because they are, and so are you.

Never forget that.

If you want to lose weight, do it for yourself, not because you want to fit in with the unrealistic perception of beauty the media is trying to dole out. Don’t buy into people telling you you’re lazy, work and success takes time, anything worth doing, more than often, takes time and effort.

I hope I helped, at least on some level…

I wish you the best of luck.

hurleygrlblink's avatar

@ bsilver- thank you, it did most definately help, I work in the fashion industry so maybe seeing models everyday doesn’t help with the whole self esteem thing, but I will try to remember your words when I feel down on myself! ps- not at all creeptactular lol

Bsilver's avatar

I aim to please, and I would imagine working in the fashion industy wouldn’t help, seeing as all those girls are little twigs that look like they’d snap in half if a breeze hit them the wrong way…

Just think of The Devil Wears Prada, find yourself a Nigel, then you’d be set!

hurleygrlblink's avatar

haha I love that movie! yes I need a nigel!

nocountry2's avatar

You know what I just read? “8 Weeks to Optimal Health” by Dr. Weil, and I am finding that his suggestions are easy, sensible, and make me feel good. Like walking for 10–20 minutes a day. Or learning to breathe properly. It’s helping me to appreciate taking care of myself again, and as a result I am losing weight naturally – and building up my self esteem because it feels good to know I am looking after and respecting myself. Also, a big, noticable difference for me was to cut way back on alcohol. Think about it – in high school you rarely drink, in college it’s on the weekends, and then it becomes a glass of wine or three with dinner, maybe a beer or martini after work…really I just cut out alcohol during the week (which was surprisingly more habitual than I thought it had become) and began to notice a difference. Of course if you don’t drink this helps nothing. :)

crackerjack's avatar

I have had many friends tell me this same thing.
You have to look at yourself in the mirror and decide, do I really care what others think of me that much.
If you are not depressed because of what others think just that you do not like yourself you have to realize you seem to have led a good life, you graduated high school which not everyone does, you found someone who you can spend your life with and married, which any statistic you look at will tell you is improbable with today’s instant gratification.

Just know that you are beautiful inside and out and anyone who says differently is probably jealous that you found happiness in marriage or they have a self-esteem so low that they can only criticize others to feel good about themselves

maccmann's avatar

Read some Depak Chopra. Follow advice about learning to know and love YOU and you will get to the point where you may not even care about your weight or how you look and not have that be a bad thing. If you learn to live with and love YOU, that’s the first step. Most people go through life not even knowing who they are and learnig to like and love themselves. Don’t be one of them.

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