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FutureMemory's avatar

Just what exactly caused you to lose respect for __(insert name of person you know in real life that you once respected)

Asked by FutureMemory (24481points) October 8th, 2010

OK, take for instance my uncle. I’ve always had the impression he was a closet misogynist, but after hearing him say “I don’t particularly like women, I just hang out with them so I can fuck them”, and “I hate when chicks get upset with you when you’re honest with them [when confronted about infidelity] and they start screaming – it’s like, shut up bitch!” I knew he was fucked in the head. I lost quite a bit of respect for him after hearing that.

What have those close to you said or done that pushed you over the edge?

note: I’m curious about specific incidences that upset you, not the persons general behavior.

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15 Answers

Aesthetic_Mess's avatar

My father. He lies a lot, and gets drunk with other people he’s not an alcoholic, it’s just when he does drink, it usually gets out of hand. I love him, but I don’t respect him that much. A lot of the things he says and does gets on all of our nerves. My sister’s moving out partly because of him. I don’t know how my mother has done it for 35 years.

BoBo1946's avatar

@FutureMemory that is crazy! Fortunately, don’t have any relatives that would act like your uncle. But, had a college roommate, that played college basketball with me that was poor like myself, but he became a multi millionaire. We were very close friends, until he invited me to Atlanta to play in a member-guest tourn. at Atlanta Country Club (this has been 20 years ago). We were playing with the President of the country club and I hit a shot that was to the right of the fairway and I’m made a comment about the bad shot, and no profanity, just expressed my displeasure with my shot. He said, “if you are going to act like that you can leave the course!” “I don’t want negative people around me!” He was showing off in front of the President of the club…no doubt… I never said a word.

Also, his mother lived with him and his family, and we would be in a conversation and he would use the F word around his mom. To me, that is disrespectful. When he was eating, would not wipe the food off his face. Like the Kings did long ago.

To say the least, after that eventful weekend, I never talked to him again. That was 20 years ago.

Loried2008's avatar

My childhood preacher. I thought surely a man of God would be decent. Long story short he caused my parents to have to foreclose on our home. Since then not only did I lose respect for him, I lost respect for a lot of people in “leadership”

BoBo1946's avatar

@Loried2008 wow…. interesting! I’ve found that the word “preacher’ doesn’t mean much. Just another human being that can be true and faithful or be the oppposite, as your preacher was… Do many people hide behind that word for selfish reasons…tax breaks, work one day a week or two, and on and on…. But, there are some that work 7 days a week and they are really called by God to preach the Gospel.

Loried2008's avatar

@BoBo1946 Yeah, not a lot of people could say that I guess lol. It really messed with me I was only 15 and I was raised in church. I’ve gone back here and there but it really affected my relationship with God and that was always very important to me. I was full of hate for people in general.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Loried2008 i never put your Faith in people, but Him. I learned that the hard way. Disappointed too many times.

Loried2008's avatar

@BoBo1946 Yeah, I figured out along the way that people are only people just like me. They make mistakes, but during that whole experience I was learning and growing. I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now had I not gone through that. I personally thank God for that.

iamthemob's avatar

I have a great respect for the analytical prowess of a friend of mine. It used to be the greatest respect. It was nearly wrecked when, at a moment of crisis in his life, he decided that he needed to tell me that I wasn’t the type of friend he needed in his world at that time because I was approaching my life superficially.

He was right – and I was happy to be superficial at the time and recognized it. But I knew what was going on in my life. He, at that point, was unable to accept that the fault was his, and that by saying something like that he was in danger of losing me as a friend.

The significant problem was the fact that we were living together at the time (although this was already ending in a way I thought was amicable), and that he had gone through the same experience and said nearly the same thing to two of his other best friends when they had lived together nearing the end of the residency. It was such a clear pattern, I had to figure out whether I, like them, could accept the benefits of his friendship knowing this flaw.

As I said, we’re still good, good friends. Better, from my perspective, because I know this flaw in him, and can help him grow out of it (...maybe…).

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

A person I knew refused to give his 3 year old niece a hug goodbye.His sister told me it was because her little girl is bi-racial.
I didn’t want to know him after that.

iamthemob's avatar



My only consolation hearing things like that is that that dude has to have been in a constant state of agitation ever since our President was elected.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@iamthemob -It was heartbreaking to watch and I remember her face very well years later.
I am happy to say I don’t know what state he is in ;)

iamthemob's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille – I’m being a petty person, and comforting myself that it’s a bad one…

Neizvestnaya's avatar

A bf I had who stated he’d never been a cheater and had put heart body and soul into his relationships. We were very serious, had talked marriage and then I discovered he was sexting, facebook flirting, phone calling and exchanging pics with an ex fuck buddy of his. All at once, everything I thought about him being the kind of man I could trust in and be proud of was shattered. In my eyes he became just another guy with a lousy grasp of respect, honor and self control. That he was willing to choose those actions and lose me if discovered (cheaters are usually discovered), that hurt.

tranquilsea's avatar

My BIL. I met him when I was 12 and my sister was 15. He is an extremely intelligent and handsome man with a gift for being charming when he wants to be. Over the years I have watched him verbally abuse and belittle my sister. His nickname for her is “Pin” as in pinhead. She’s a really smart person but the endless comments about how stupid she is has made her believe that she is not. She actually asked us all to call her Pin…I refused.

He became a real drunk. At one point he drained their bank account for the forth or fifth time and they got into a large argument. With their two year old son in his bedroom he choked my sister into near unconsciousness.

He has this thing for verbally attacking people. I used to tell him to fuck off if he went over the line and he was always going over the line. Because of this I became a favourite target.

He started stealing from his employer and had the balls to tell my husband and I all about it like it was nothing. He wasn’t stealing small things either.

This was a guy who could have been anything and done anything. He’s chosen to be an asshole and plague the lives of those around him.

My respect for him is zero.

Jabe73's avatar

Probally my uncle. He and my aunt are now divorced but they were married for nearly 20 years. He never worked most of the time while my aunt always had to work to put food on the table and pay the bills. They had a daughter on top of this. He would work under the table doing construction making a quick wad of cash which he always kept from them.

I always got along great with this uncle and I wasn’t aware of everything that was going on between them, eventually though when I got older it caught on to me. He treated her like crap on top of it.

A very cruel paradox happened here for when they finally got divorced my uncle’s uncle (only my aunt was blood here) passed away and he recieved a large inheritence of close to 2 million dollars. I hear he has a big gambling habit so maybe he will gamble all that money away. He is cheap however and still drives his old pick-up truck around and lives in a small poor looking house. He doesn’t even have a working range. I do not talk to my “uncle” no more.

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