General Question

Triozoo's avatar

How long must you know someone before you can start dating them?

Asked by Triozoo (396 points ) October 11th, 2010

A exchange of numbers at the bar or months of being friends with the fear of being stuck in the “friend zone”.

If you’re interested in someone you recently met, checked his or her backround to ensured your findings and still continue to like them, would you date them? How long will you wait before you make your move?

Possibility of them being taken by someone else if you waited to long etc

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17 Answers

Disc2021's avatar

I hate placing stipulations on things like this – generally, I say, it happens when it’s ready to happen. I’m not saying over-night relationships are a good idea or hyper-neediness is a good or attractive, but I dont like how everyone is so afraid to head in that direction. It’s endlessly tiring nowadays trying to find exclusivity in someone.

aprilsimnel's avatar

As soon as you see that you’re attracted to that person, ask them out, for goodness sake, and get it over with! Either way, you’ll know where you stand and you can get on with it. Life is too damn short.

jazmina88's avatar

if there is attraction, do it.

iamthemob's avatar

Why wait?

Scooby's avatar

Jump straight in! :-/ to be sure…......

Thammuz's avatar

I had my first date with my current (and, so far, only) girlfriend after 5 – 6 hours of internet chat all in the space of an evening. We decided to meet the next day, two hours in we decided to see where it was going. It’s been almost three years now.

There’s no fixed amount of time to wait, just do it.

Aqua's avatar

In my opinion, the longer you wait to “make a move” the greater chance there is that they’ll just see you as a friend. You don’t want to be their friend, you want to be more than that. Read this and this.

augustlan's avatar

I don’t see any reason to wait, once you know you are interested. It’s a silly game to play, in my opinion.

laureth's avatar

Before starting to date (in the sense of “go out, do things, have fun, and get to know each other”)? I’ve gone out on blind dates, which I guess is “zero amount of time.” I’m not even sure why there would be a rule about this. Just be safe, and if it’s someone you don’t know too well, stick to public areas (like restaurants) and let someone else know that you’ll be out and when you plan to be back and you should be fine. Have fun, be smart.

If by “date” you mean “begin an exclusive relationship with this person, forsaking all others,” I might wait until that seems right or feels comfortable for both of you, but that doesn’t happen like clockwork all the time. Also, I see a difference between “dating” (which you can do with as many people as you have time and inclination for) and what they used to call “going steady,” which is a lot more exclusive and usually includes they words “boyfriend” and/or “girlfriend.” I understand that these days, people often see these as the same thing, i.e., if you go out on a date with someone, it means that you’re not dating anyone else, no matter how casually.

At any rate, timing is usually more of an organic thing with me. There’s no such thing as relationship tenure if it doesn’t feel right, no matter how long I’ve known someone. It’s not like they have a “date by” date; no alarm goes “ding!” to tell me they’re ready. It would be a lot easier if they did!

rts486's avatar

If I define dating as spending time together, I’ve started dating minutes after meeting someone. Sometimes it ended with that date, other times it went on to more.

Ame_Evil's avatar

20 seconds (enough to get a phone number)

john65pennington's avatar

No two situations are the same. i guess it really depends on your intentions. if this girl is intended to be just a “fun bunny” for you, then the head-on approach is okay. if you have much more serious thoughts about this person, then it’s a slow-go ahead.

Either way, check this person out thoroughly with her friends, before you make any moves. her friends will tell you the truth.

BoBo1946's avatar

If the light goes on, go for it!

partyparty's avatar

I would ask them out as soon as you were sure they had feelings for you.

CMaz's avatar

30 minutes

Luffle's avatar

You should do what feels right for you. I don’t believe that there is a certain time you should wait because once that window of opportunity passes, its gone, sometimes forever. However, you should be clear on how the other person feels also so that you don’t force anything that isn’t mutual.

I also don’t see anything wrong with the friend zone. If you fall into the friend zone and you’re stuck there permanently, there probably wasn’t a lot of chemistry going on to begin with.

15barcam's avatar

Hang out before you date, before you know it, you could be on a date without even realizing it!

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