Social Question

JDJones's avatar

What's the hardest part of being a woman?

Asked by JDJones (150 points ) January 11th, 2011

Well, it doesn’t have to be the HARDEST part. You may feel that there are many “hard” parts. List all you care to. I’m just trying to get a better understanding of our “better half.” To me, there are SO many aspects of a woman’s life that I’m glad I don’t have to suffer. Thank God I don’t have to go through childbirth, wearing high heels, putting on makeup, menstruation, suffering catcalls, etc., etc. Ladies, help me understand your frustrations.

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99 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

The social pressure to be thin & “beautiful.” The pressure to have better hair, a better wardrobe, a smaller waist, bigger breasts, perfect skin, etc etc.
Personally, anyhow, I think that is the most difficult aspect for me.
I’d say cramps rank a close second, though.

jenandcolin's avatar

Childbirth.

prolificus's avatar

Being considered a gender first, a person second.

wilma's avatar

I would say @TheOnlyNeffie said it best for me. Menstruation is right up there too.

As for childbirth, although it may sometimes be difficult, I consider it a great privilege to be the bearer of a child. That to me, is the greatest part of being a woman.

augustlan's avatar

Menstruation sucks. Since I’m past that now, I’d have to say carrying around my boobage is the worst part for me these days. Those suckers are heavy, and after three kids, they’re not even perky anymore. :/

ucme's avatar

Giving all your love to just one man! All together now…...bum ba bum ba bum, stand by yo…....i’ve gone & done it again haven’t I? I’m sorry, just ignore me & i’ll go away….:¬(

JilltheTooth's avatar

I’ve never been that keen on all the medical stuff that happens inside my person. Between infertility and cervical cancer, I’ve had more strangers traveling up the tunnel of love than friends. Ew

kess's avatar

the reality is this ..
Even the women do not understand themselves…
And if any will get to such an understanding,
they no longer be a woman, though they will remain a female

nebule's avatar

saggy boobs… I hate my boobs, really hate them… they weren’t even good for breastfeeding. Evolutionary speaking I have no idea how I got given these things.

jenandcolin's avatar

@wilma – I agree! Childbirth is definitely the best part of being a woman. ALthough, I would also consider it the “hardest”. but, maybe that’s because I had a very difficult pregnancy/delivery filled with complications

iphigeneia's avatar

[NSFW/TMI] Definitely having to deal with blood coming out of your vagina for up to a week every month. Even if you don’t plan on using that uterus ever.

janbb's avatar

@kess Sorry but – WTF? That was a very patronizing thing to say.

kess's avatar

@janbb I do understand for in this world the lies and Liar get far more respect that the truth.

Aesthetic_Mess's avatar

Definitely have it agree with @iphigeneia. Periods are terrible things.
That and the pressure to be thin.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Was there a little extra something in @kess‘s coffee this AM?

BoBo1946's avatar

@ucme I’m trying to figure out why you are here. Loll “Come on man!”

chyna's avatar

Or lack of something in @kess‘s coffee?

Seelix's avatar

Societal pressure to attain and maintain the “ideal” figure really sucks. Especially considering that even the ideal is not good enough. Kudos to Dove for being one of the few companies not afraid to show that real beauty comes in all shapes and sizes,

JDJones's avatar

I’m a little disappointed in the answers I’ve received so far. I had hoped that I would gain some new insight into the female mind, but I could have pretty much come up with all of these answers on my own. Maybe you’re keeping that “great secret” a secret just between you girls, or maybe you’re not as complex as I feared. But after reading these responses, I think, as a group, you girls may be your own worst enemy. We men may like to look at “perky” breasts and slim waists, but we also like the ones our lady has, be they perky or sagging. Don’t be so hard on yourselves. We aren’t perfection and we don’t demand it. It’s WHO you are inside that counts. It’s what is between your ears, not protruding from your chest that counts.

@prolificus
I like your answer best so far. I think I’m guilty of doing this. I like pretty much ALL women, the attraction is there, and it’s almost impossible to NOT see “gender first.” If it’s any consolation, that usually works in your favor.

@wilma
I gained insight with your answer. It’s funny how I viewed childbirth as a painful experience, and you as a great honor. Embarrassed by my shortsighted viewpoint, I respect your view, and concur. Excellent answer!

@ucme
Hmm… Could have multiple meanings. Would you prefer to give your love to many different men? That song has special meaning to me personally, as my wife filed for divorce after decades of marriage, when my business failed. When I needed her the most, here came the envelope from her attorney.

@JilltheTooth
I’m sorry for your health problems, but your characterization of them made me laugh: “Between infertility and cervical cancer, I’ve had more strangers traveling up the tunnel of love than friends.”

Thank you all for your answers. Just remember, there is beauty in EVERY woman, at every stage in her life. Relax, be yourself, and the beauty will come forth.

jenandcolin's avatar

@JDJones : I don’t think you should be disappointed. You have received some very good answers so far.
Asking what the most difficult part of being a woman is happens to be a very complex question. Each woman will have her own opinion and the “hardest aspect” isn’t so one-dimensional. As with childbirth, many aspects are both difficult and beautiful. That answer, specifically, is a very complex thing to explain (to men, to women who have never experienced it, etc.). Childbirth is the closest I have ever been to death (I almost died), made me realize how beautiful life is (in a way I never could have imagined previously), and made me realize a new and beautiful side to being a woman.

Fairylover78's avatar

Hmmm, good question, I may have to pose the same for you guys out there.
Honestly, I think male or female we all have ups and downs of being who we are as a gender and just as people. The intrusiveness of our physicals as women are hard, especially when your just becoming of age and the first time your taken to the gynocologist ( love the description @JilltheTooth I feel ya) it’s uncomfortable and embarrassing, however you fellas go through equally embarrassing moments as well I’m sure, just a little later in life. But that’s just physical stuff and I think @JDJones is looking for something more emotional or thought provoking. I think each person is different. I mean I have had my own hardships as a woman, but also as a women that is only 4’6 and as a woman who has a lazy eye and as a woman who at times can be easlily taken advantage of because I like doing things for others. Women do tend to be more emotional perhaps than men and in some instances that can be hard in itself, sometimes I wish I could just say ” the hell with it” but that’s not usually the way I work. There is pressure as a female to look certain ways and such, but honeslty, I have found most of the pressure for that comes from other women, not men. To be frank, and I’m not speaking of all women out there, so don’t presume I’m lumping us all together here, but in my experience it’s easier to be friends and just BE with guys friends, there seems to be a competiveness that alot of women have and I’m sorry to say a selfishness when it comes to other women. I have some great Girl friends, but I have also had some who are friends only when they need one, not when I do, guys are usually less fickle. That being said, I guess one of the hardships for me being a woman is understanding women…. How Ironic.

nebule's avatar

@JDJones oh alright then…. as a single whole parent the hardest thing for me has to be just being alone and making decisions about my son’s future alone. (which is basically everything I do and say around him and do with him and for him…) It can also be a blessing of course… but there is rarely someone there that you implicitly trust to help you make those decisions or even just make you a cup of tea in the morning when you’re feeling a little like not being a parent for a moment and curling up in bed for an extra hour. I know there are male whole parents out there but all too often and I’m pretty sure statistics will work in my favour here… the majority are women…and unfortunately being a woman lends itself to being ‘left’ with the baby.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Actually, I agree with @kess if what he meant by his statement was that once a woman actually realizes what places she’s been relegated to just by virtue of how gender is constructed in our society, she might grow angry and refuse to be a woman but will still be female, biologically speaking – makes perfect sense to me, as that’s what happened with me. So, OP, I’ll say the hardest part of being a woman is not wanting to be one. And exactly what @prolificus said, as well.

lilalila's avatar

I think the hardest thing about being a woman is the polarized responses you get from men in certain environments. For example, in the nerd community, you might be regarded as a goddess just for being a girl who games, which will get you loads of special treatment (and a lot of unwanted attention). On the contrary, there may be guys there who think you game only to get this treatment and that women are horrible, evil, treacherous beings that will eventually reveal their demonic true colors if you only give them time (and insult them enough). It’s really rare that I can walk into a game store or something without getting either treatment, which is why I only have a very small group of friends I actually play with. It’s the same in the workplace. You might be babied or favored because you’re a girl, or people might be even harder on you because you’re a girl. It’s a wonderful thing when you find a place where you’ll be treated like a normal person.

Also, there’s that thing with salaries being lower on average for women. I took a wage negotiation workshop, and it’s sort of disconcerting knowing the statistic that men are way more likely to negotiate their salaries higher, whereas women are more likely to take a first offer. It’s hard to trust myself or the system knowing that, and I know that even if I go into a successful interview knowing that statistic in my mind, I still may take a first offer and keep the wage gap going. I sort of wonder whether this mistrust of myself is common to women, and if it is, why? Has it been so ingrained in our minds that women are not to be trusted that we even devalue our own opinions? Or is it natural for us to put others before ourselves in absolutely all instances, knowing that if our wage is higher someone else who is more qualified might not be able to get as much? Have I been brain-washed? AND if I do take a lower salary, is it really my fault or did the employer push me to take that amount of money?

So maybe the worst part is actually the constant clashing of other peoples’ opinions about women with your opinion about what you are, which can cause self-doubt, low self-esteem, and a heck load of confusion.

JilltheTooth's avatar

@lilalila : Talk to Katawagrey sometime about being a Gamer Girl!

As to @JDJones “disappointment” in the answers, the women here most probably have never been anything but women, we don’t have anything to compare it to, other than some objective perceptions of the differences. We all have been shaped somewhat by gender-constructs, as have men. This is the only sex I know how to be, so I can’t really give you a comparative subjective view.

choreplay's avatar

I think JDJones is looking for that missing puzzle peice that will help him have a deeper understanding of this mystery that we men know as women. I find the subject fascinating as well.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

The hardest part for me is believing that I was attractive (never thought I was hot, but I was attractive) with a rockin body that was perfect and toned and lovely… then I had kids and I’m a total frump. It doesn’t even matter if I have a thinner waist now, my parts are no longer where they belong. It’s sad and disheartening and it completely destroys my self esteem when I see the younger beautiful women strutting around, so confident.

The “normal” women on TV are thin and gorgeous. The women who look like me are on weight loss shows and diet pill commercials. Well you know what? Diet pills and exercise won’t fix my saggy breasts and droopy ass.

The hardest part for me is knowing that most men want to see the younger hot girls, instead of “normal” housewives who really do sag and droop after having babies. I want women on TV and magaines to represent “real” women. Women who’ve been pregnant and nursed babies and don’t have personal trainers and plastic surgeons to fix them up afterward. And I’m sick of feeling disgruntled by this, but I can’t really help it when our society does nothing to improve the problem.

nebule's avatar

<<sits down with @WillWorkForChocolate and cuddles the squidgy bits

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I’ve been following this (gasps of surprise) for a while. Where does the pressure to look just so, have things just so, etc arise from? Men, other women, society in general?

partyparty's avatar

Soooooo may men flocking round us !!

choreplay's avatar

Girls not sure if you give credit for some guys seeing the beauty in women for the look in their eyes, the way they hold themselves, and the sex appeal of their attitude. We don’t all look at things that way you think we do. Life evolves and attraction evolves. I find older women to be far sexier than the younger ones.

partyparty's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Well I have to be honest don’t I? LOLL

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@partyparty check the TJAM thread.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe It stems from wanting to feel pleasing. The pressure comes from both men, and other women. I can honestly say that my hubby doesn’t make me feel inadequate and he makes it a point to tell me how sexy I am, but I know he feels that way because I give him my love and I’m the mother of his children. Other men will not see me the same. A lot of men size women up like this: //( o Y o )\\

And I dislike the way a lot of beautiful women know they are beautiful and look at the frumpy housewives with disgust. You can see their contempt in their eyes: “you fat cow, I bet I could take your husband away if I wanted.”

Fairylover78's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe and @Season_of_Fall see my answer, I’m with ya!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I follow these kind of threads to learn more about women, and I’ll confess I used to be one of those guys that just looked at the hotties. One thing I most like about this site is that it’s really opened my eyes to a lot of things.

Luiveton's avatar

Trying to be beautiful and impress the one you love. Trying to be perfect. Sacrificing everything oyu have for the ones you love. Worrying too much about what he thinks of you.

deni's avatar

I don’t know if this will make sense but…I feel this overwhelming pressure to not be moody or emotional or bitchy once in a while, and I feel like when I am, I just come off as a “typical woman”....“typical” in the sense that TV and movies and the media portray women, as always yelling and nagging and bitching and being controlling. Even when I have a reason to be upset I feel like it’s the “wrong” thing to do…...even though I know my boyfriend, who gets the brunt of it, doesn’t agree and is emotional himself and would never think what I just said….......again, not making a lot of sense I feel. Sorry.

Then fucking cramps.

choreplay's avatar

Lol, @WillWorkForChocolate, No, I’m one of those husbands, they are looking at me with contempt also with, “your old and gross”, because I don’t have a full hair line and ribbed stomach anymore.

About what your husband says, you should beleive him. I mean it when I tell my wife that, my attraction to her is just as high as it ever has been.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@Season_of_Fall Well, what can I say? Some men are actually decent human beings who appreciate real women for who they actually are. I don’t come across them on a regular basis lol, but I know they exist. :P

@deni What you said makes perfect sense. I’ve seen what you’re describing- in a situation where a woman has a valid excuse to be upset, yet when she says something about it, she’s blown off as “just your typical, bitchy woman”. I see that a lot. (Now I can understand that attitude with me sometimes, because I’m the first to admit I’m more bitchy than a lot of other women.) But I think that excuse is used too often when men don’t truly want to understand what the real problem is.

JilltheTooth's avatar

To the guys here: Most of us really do get that most of you are not pigs and do appreciate us, but we are constantly battered by outside stimuli. We don’t necessarily take it seriously, but it’s constant and neverending and is sort of like being beaten to death by gnats. It never stops. We can’t not be exposed to it if we live in the world. Maintaining a confident sense of self all the time is very difficult.

choreplay's avatar

@willwork, I’m not that good. I try though.

ucme's avatar

@BoBo1946 Why I declare, can’t a gal have her say? This is the modern age is it not? I bid you good day sir! XD Just thought i’d put a male slant on things, as is my want.

deni's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate Yep. I’m the same as you though….if something pisses me off you’re GOING to hear about it…and I think that’s the difference, a lot of women might bottle it up so as to not be seen as the typical bitchy female…but I just can’t do that. So I do admit as well I’m harder to handle than most lol.

tranquilsea's avatar

I don’t know that I find any part of being a woman hard. There are points where I feel like I am being pulled in 50 different directions because everyone depends on me for something. In times like that what is hard is finding time for myself.

So far as there being some secret that we aren’t telling men….I don’t believe that is the case. The women I know are very up front with what they believe, what they hope for and dream about.

Complexity varies from person to person. You cannot blanket statement a whole gender. Or, I guess, you can but you would be wrong.

Crossroadsgrl's avatar

ThAt not all women are interested as much in supporting each other/sisterhood as they are in competing with the very people they NEED

Crossroadsgrl's avatar

Raising children without the support of a spouse.

GracieT's avatar

I think that my main problem with being female is when it is assumed that because of my biology I will think, talk, and act like every other woman, just because of my being a woman. For instance, I do not have kids. In my case, it is because of lack of ability, not lack of desire to have them. However, I find it difficult to find anything geared toward women of my age that doesn’t concern kids, because it is assumed that we all have them. This is just one instance, there have been others. My main problem is when I’m not credited with being a separate human being first, woman second.

Fairylover78's avatar

@GracieT I am with you. I have the exact same thing going on at 32, I feel ya

Marchofthefox's avatar

I would sadly say, the pressure to fit in and be just as good. Number one answer hit the nail on the head completely.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

I was going to say “the penis”, but perhaps I should modify that to “the penii”.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@JilltheTooth is exactly right. We know that many, if not most, men don’t view us the way that we view ourselves. That you may be even more realistic about our bodies than we are. However, the barrage of media influence is never ending. The airbrushed, ultra slim, unrealistic women on the covers of magazines and on the TV, the “Lose 10lbs This Weekend!” articles, the up and coming wrinkle cream of the year, hair conditioner, smoothing makeup – whatever the case may be, is a reality that we face every day. There is no getting away from it.
I’m not saying that men aren’t exposed to similar media and pressure. I just think that it has been hitting women full force for a longer time, and with a more powerful punch. This is something that we, as women, grow up with. From the time we are little girls – playing dress up, putting on lipstick, high heels – constantly hearing comments on our appearances. Oh, what a pretty face on that little girl. She’d be beautiful if she lost a couple of pounds.
For those of you who have not visited my profile, or have visited and not clicked links, I believe this sums it up beautifully. I know that we have received in incoming wave of new members recently, but those of you who have been around for a while (and know me), know that this is an exceptionally personal battle for me.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@TheOnlyNeffie I was trying to figure out why there’s so much pressure on women and you answered that for me. The fashion industry, magazines, tv, etc are all out there hammering the message at women and they’ve been at it for a long time. Makes sense you would feel the pressure more than men. It must be terrible for young girls.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

You guys are going to make my head hurt from thinking too much.

wilma's avatar

Thank you for that link @TheOnlyNeffie . How wonderfully said.
Makes you feel sad for the “merely pretty” doesn’t it?

mowens's avatar

My penis puts a damper on my being a woman.

Response moderated (Flame-Bait)
Response moderated
suzie271's avatar

I don’t like stalkers..

Guys need to know it creepy to just approach a random woman on the street in an attempt to get her number etc.. it scares the hell out of me..

Also fear of pregnancy. We often bear the burden of birth control and children.

Response moderated
iphigeneia's avatar

@JDJones what sort of answer were you looking for? There’s no secret. Women are just people. There are billions of us, if you’re looking for a magic answer that will unlock the mysteries of all women, you can stop looking because you won’t find one.

tranquilsea's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Thanks for the link to that book! I’ve reserved at my public library.

I have a 13 year old daughter who is just starting to show signs of hating how she looks. I don’t buy magazines and we talk constantly about all the poor images out there. It is an uphill battle trying to counteract the beauty myth.

Response moderated
Facade's avatar

@JDJones I doubt trying to justify or lessen the effect of someone calling a woman a cow is going to be received well by any woman simply because of what you’ve read throughout this thread. Women go through so much scrutiny over their appearances that even one little comment hurts, so trying to justify it puts you in the same camp as the person who said it in the first place. You may not see what the big deal is, but any woman would.

With that said, I agree with most of the points already brought up. Childbirth, menstruation, and the constant pressure to achieve perfection with our appearance are the hardest parts about being a woman. I personally won’t leave home unless I look at least halfway decent.

mrrich724's avatar

I am not a woman. I thank God for this, often.

augustlan's avatar

[mod says] Please keep the personal bickering out of the public thread. Take it to PMs, people.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Your issues with @WillWorkForChocolate aside, apparently @JDJones, you’ve been as affected by the media as the rest of us, just in different ways. You seem to be looking for some great secret, but @iphigeneia put it pretty well, we’re people. We have great mystery as individuals, just as men do. It’s not about sex or gender or age or cultural background, it’s simply about being human.

MissAnthrope's avatar

For me, it’s the pressure to look a certain way, to be a certain size, to be gorgeous, to be feminine. I dislike that people assume they know my strengths/weaknesses based on my sex. You don’t know me, with a big snap. I dislike that men are automatically considered or assumed to be self-sufficient and that that is something I have to prove.

@JDJones – I was loving you for asking this question, but as I read down the thread, I got more frowny. I found your response to the women here to be dismissive and I have to say I don’t really like or appreciate that.

tigerlilly2's avatar

In my own humble opinion, the absolute worst things are the limits society tries to set for women. You shouldn’t do this and you shouldn’t do that. ‘We don’t need a woman President’ “You’re a girl so if you have a lot of sex, that will make you a slut’. All the jobs in the military women aren’t allowed to do. The idea that women should not work and stay in the home to do nothing but cook, clean and serve their man and children terrifies me. And, sadly, there are many people who still harbor this grotesque idea!

JDJones's avatar

Thank you for all of your comments. My question was honestly asked, and I learned a lot from many of your answers. Unfortunately, there are some people who have a huge chip on their shoulder. I have asked the moderator to delete this question, and I will not contribute to Fluther again.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@JDJones You’re welcome. Are you looking for some kind of a pity party send off, because it sounds like you, too, have a chip on your shoulder.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Just for the record, I resent that my comment was moderated. It pertained to the question in that it was yet another “hard part” of being a woman. I answered and was flamed for it by the poster. That’s just another example of how some women are treated by some men and why we women have certain perceptions.

And @JDJones if you really feel that my original answer was a “chip on my shoulder”, then that just makes you one of the “typical males” that real women dislike. Flaming me for answering honestly was not a contribution to fluther in the least, and you appear to be the one bearing the chip. If you feel that you need to leave because we women disappointed you with our answers, then I’d love to hold the door for you.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

The built-in AIR BAGS!

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Funny answers such as “ironing” and “wood” aside, it seems to me from reading over this thread that the hardest part about being a woman is being in any way concerned about all of the expectations placed on oneself ‘by others’. By ‘others’ I mean the fashion and advertising industries, men whose opinions they value (and even ones that they don’t), their families, themselves and… other women (including their mothers – and that’s not just a ‘western’ thing, either; it seems to be universal).

That’s what it seems like from inside my head, anyway. And I’ll tell you right now, the hardest part about being a man is women. The funny part about that is that they’re so often soft and adorable.

bkcunningham's avatar

@CyanoticWasp did you just call me soft!! What is that suppose to mean? Do you think I’m flabby? Well, let me tell you something. I’ll tell you about being soft…. ; )

karson74472's avatar

EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nebule's avatar

Love for @TheOnlyNeffie and @JilltheTooth Put it perfectly! xxx

karson74472's avatar

Thank you! :)

manolla's avatar

How some men view me!!!

lovespurple's avatar

I think the hardest part of being a young woman is living under the pressures of the media. (i.e., having the perfect body, perfect hair, perfect makeup, comparing ourselves constantly to each other, etc..)

I think the hardest part of being a woman is the infiltration of our past beliefs into our lives now, but in a more elaborate way. (i.e., having the perfect everything to impress the opposite sex, trying to keep up with the opposite sex -especially in the work place, etc..) But honestly ladies, with all this.. I think it’s a decision. Be who you are. Stop comparing. Own yourself.

Beyond all this superficial pressure, I think having to go through giving birth is not necessarily hard but extremely painful.

A weakness women have is being so sensitive and more emotional than men. We take criticisms a lot harder than you guys do. And then some men blame us for being this way as if it’s a “bad thing”.

With that said, it’s our own mind that is our biggest enemy.

And worse, I think sexism is still present in our society. Not as open as it was, but that’ll always be a struggle for us I think.

nebule's avatar

@lovespurple minor point but giving birth was painful and hard for me personally…but welcome to Fluther x

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

I have always thought it was funny that women believe they have low self esteem. Most any woman on this site has rejected countless men who have crushed on them. Which is appropriate, you own your own body.

But in the aggregate, do you ever think maybe that has destroyed the confidence of dozen’s of guys, and being a man they can never ever talk to others about their failures?

tranquilsea's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought you’re a guy, right? Go ahead and start a thread about the hardest part of being a man.

That being said, I wish guys would talk to each other more about what’s bothering them. I don’t have tens of other women who I trust enough to bounce things off of but I do have two or three and they have been helpful in allowing me the time to work some pretty hefty crap out. I would (and have) done the same for them.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

My apologies, Tranquilsea. I did not mean to derail this line of thread.
I wanted only to remind the women here that likely many men have considered them wonderful throughout their lives. And I wanted to express that low self esteem is not a feminine issue, its a human issue.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought though it is a human issue, that doesn’t mean that it has to be excluded as a response to the question.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

ANef is Enuf, I assure you I am humble and put in my appropriate place.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Crap, I didn’t mean for all of that. I was just pointing it out.

tranquilsea's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought Self esteem is a common issue across genders. I also understand that many men have a great esteem for women and that’s great. The feeling is often mutual.

I loved this thread because it was a window into our (female) collective souls. It was great to see the commonality and where we diverge.

If I made you feel reprimanded I didn’t mean to. I was making a point about the OP’s question and it referred directly to women.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

Agreed. You both have acted in an appropriate matter. I was going off topic. I will not muse again while drinking.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought no worries, you’re a-okay. I didn’t mean to come off as harshly as I did. Drunk fluthering is not terribly uncommon, you’re in the clear. ;)

tranquilsea's avatar

Oh and btw @Imadethisupwithnoforethought welcome to Fluther :-)

Unbroken's avatar

@jdjones you possibly checked out of this thread by now so I guess I will write my answer for me. There are many levels to classify .. but I currently am taken with the continual objectification and dehumanization of women that continues to be perpetuated by society men and women alike. In ads movies and books why do women like fifty shades of grey because they are conditioned to like it but at the same time its a guilty secret because the images of women or parts of them have been splayed splashed and altered worshipped and put down objectified and critisized emulated and a million other terms. But there is no general respect for them. A plethora of examples and references pop into my head. To give you an idea: once was told there were no great women in history. Given a shirt by a brief fling who wanted more said buy me stuff and that is exactly what he saw my place as at home cooking cleaning raising kids and being screwed.. once was asked if I wanted to be kept. Apparently instead if date he assured me he would make sure I had weekly trips to the salon so I would look hot. Went on a coupla dates with a guy who ended up revealing himself by saying that he was taking me all over town to make sure every male knew I belonged to him but it wasn’t enough. And then chatting about this topic with my girlfriend her husband came by and said what’s wrong with that. I could go on. This question wound me up.
As to mental difference and emotional makeup one must first know the differences and hardships of being male. I can guess that men must be tough anger lust are stereo typically the only manly emotions given to males to show in public. Which thus removes them from women. Sure our paychecks can be lower we haven’t had a female president we not only have to be aware and careful of how provocatively we dress because a man just might not be able to resist himself.. eye roll. So we are chained in bras to not gasp show nipples and can’t go topless at the beach or doing yard work… but I love being female.. regardless because I love me and women are beautiful well so are men but in a different way

missscarlet36's avatar

Being lied to when you are so good at spotting lies.

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