General Question

funkdaddy's avatar

Who in your life should tell you when you're wrong?

Asked by funkdaddy (12956 points ) February 18th, 2011

Nobody likes being wrong or making poor decisions but we’ve all been there. When people disagree about something the polite thing seems to be to simply “agree to disagree” and move on. After all it’s their life and they have to live it. But what if it’s important?

If you’re wrong about something important whether it’s a belief, a course of action, or a plan you have for your life, who do you count on to let you know? Who should question your judgement and who should just stay out of it?

As a follow up, would we make better decisions if we each had someone that made us justify them? Do you have a person like that in your life?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

18 Answers

augustlan's avatar

Depending on the circumstances, my husband, my children, my best friend, my bosses. Sometimes, my husband only thinks I’m wrong, until I convince him that he is. Ditto on the children.

It’s good to have your assumptions and beliefs challenged. If I’m wrong, I can change my mind. If I’m right, I’ve not only had a chance to really think about why I’m right – refining my stand, but also to share those thoughts with someone who disagrees.

SavoirFaire's avatar

Whoever is closest.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I am lucky to have some people in my life who care enough about me to speak up when I’m wrong about something, but you know the saying that “even a broken clock is right twice a day”? Well, there it is.

It doesn’t matter who tells me that I’m wrong, but that I recognize the truth of it when I’m told. Anyone could have self-interested motives, of course, but it doesn’t matter why someone’s right about something if they are indeed right.

Ideally, of course, someone who loves you would gently and persuasively say something to you, but we don’t get to choose the whys and wherefores of our enlightenment.

janedelila's avatar

Parents, siblings, people who love you unconditionally and only want the best for you. Luckily I have parents and siblings who only do want the best for me.

squirbel's avatar

Anyone who sees that you [or I] have done wrong should be able to say so.

It is you [or I] who has to be willing to listen and decide if they are right. Most likely they are, in some aspect.

Bellatrix's avatar

It depends on the circumstances and the issue. If it a personal issue and it is important, family and friends. However, there are times when for personal issues it isn’t appropriate for friends or family to pass judgement on my actions even if they don’t agree with what I am doing. As you said, sometimes it is not their business. For instance, my dad did not interfere with relationships I chose to enter even if he did not approve. We have learn our own lessons sometimes. Of course, if that relationship was abusive, and I was not acting to remove myself from it, family and friends should give me some home truths.

At work, coleagues and certainly my boss would be the right person to tell me I am off track. There, because I am representing the organisation I work for, as long as the criticism is fair and valid, I would have to wear it whether I like it or not. I am also a great believer in mentoring and I think having a mentor who will guide you and let you know when you aren’t operating in the most effective way or the best way for your future development is a good thing.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Too often the people in my family have an agenda, so I can’t trust their objectivity, but very often my daughter is spot on. When she was younger I didn’t listen so well, I like to think I’m getting better at it, she’s often uncanny in her perceptions about people and circumstances. Sometimes it’s hard to stop being the parent and just listen to the wise person she is.

Bellatrix's avatar

@JilltheTooth, it is a beautiful thing though when your children do have the confidence and wisdom to give you advice and it isn’t necessarily limited by age. My daughters, but particularly my youngest daughter, is incredibly perceptive. I don’t always like her advice, but upon reflection, I can usually see the wisdom. So to keep on topic, children of all ages can often, even accidently and bluntly, give you the best advice.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

My partner, my mother, a few friends.

bkcunningham's avatar

People can tell me I’m wrong or making a mistake about something important, whether it’s a belief, a course of action, or a plan I have in life. I’m going to listen and hear what they are saying, but honestly, most of the time I’m going to do what I want anyway.

Meego's avatar

I’ve never been in that situation…I’m always right and if someone tells me I’m wrong I’ll just argue with them until they see it my way. haha that was my dads attitude and it worked for him of course if you kept arguing he had a great way of just walking away and ignoring you to prove he was right! My mother always said he was a doctor, a lawyer and a government official all rolled into one. For me if I clearly did wrong I’d like to know by whoever notices.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

My husband, friends.

YARNLADY's avatar

Anyone who actually cares about you.

Blondesjon's avatar

I’m with @SavoirFaire, whoever is closest.

i’d rather know for a fact that i’m wrong than have a million folks tell me i’m right.

sarahjane90's avatar

My grandma makes sure to let me know when I’m wrong, which is most of the time.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

It is easy to find someone to tell you what you’ve done wrong… XD…good friends tell you when you are right. :)

I have people in my life that will do both.I am a lucky woman:)

SABOTEUR's avatar

I’ve studied spirituality for many years.

Those who walk the spiritual path are taught that they are responsible for everything that occurs in their lives.

They have (or are allowed) no more excuses because they know better.

People who walk The Path tend to recognize each other and tend to acknowledge the same principles. It’s not easy to stay on the Path, so if I step off or stray away from the Path, I would expect (though I might not necessarily like) a fellow traveler to respectfully correct me or suggest I look at whatever I was doing or saying another way.

They’re inevitably correct.

Correction doesn’t necessarily have to come from other people.

Seemingly random occurrences or situations occur throughout our lifetime that “offer correction” or guidance if we have “eyes to see them” or are open to such suggestion.

pickleknuckle's avatar

Someone close to you whose opinion you trust. If it’s a stranger or an acquaintance, a diplomat and not someone with an agenda or a chip on their shoulder.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther