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Blueroses's avatar

Rhyme time again. Who likes to make up limericks?

Asked by Blueroses (17742 points ) March 17th, 2011

In honor of St. Patty’s Day, our local Irish pub hosts a limerick competition. I won it 2 years ago and I’m going to try again tonight. Anyone want to help me out?
(dirty ones usually get the prize)

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19 Answers

woodcutter's avatar

There once was a man from Maine
Who said he could feel no pain
In the morn he would drink
in the night he would drink….
in the sunshine, in sleet,and in rain.

Taciturnu's avatar

When I was in sixth grade, I constructed this one and never forgot it.

There once was an alien from Zork
Who never ate beef, beans or pork.
He went to West Europe,
Drank maple syrup,
And now, he visits New York.

XOIIO's avatar

Can I submit a people that I made while working at a gas station? It doesn’t rhyme, but i like it.

lloydbird's avatar

A woman who drove a red truck,
was noted for loving to….....cook.
With her appetite grand,
and strength in her hands,
she’d happily rub out your duck.

Coloma's avatar

In trying to compose a ditty
I have been overtaken by kitty
across the keyboard he rolls
as the laptop folds
and he knows he’s done something quite shitty. lol

Blueroses's avatar

ok. these are good. I came up with this:

The truth is – and girls don’t you mock
If you’re wanting to make the bed rock
It isn’t the motion
Makes waves in the ocean
It’s truly the size of the cock

XOIIO's avatar

Shit, fucking autocorrect.I mean poem, and nvm

Blueroses's avatar

@XOIIO please do share. That is classic autocorrect.

XOIIO's avatar

@Blueroses k

I thought of this when there was this torrential rain and i was working, smelled great out and inspired me lol.

The rain pours down as the skies weep over the sins of man, putting out the fires of hatred and washing away the chaos that was left behind.

Blueroses's avatar

@XOIIO very nice free-form poetry. You set an atmosphere and reflect your thoughts at the time. Well done.

Blueroses's avatar

ok. now meaningful isn’t going to win me a contest. My latest creation:

I met a young lady named Venus
And swore nothing would come between us
So I asked her to dance
Then came time for romance
Groped for her vag – found a penis

XOIIO's avatar

I know lol, jsut wanted to share a piece of my boredom

Blueroses's avatar

@lloydbird yours got applause

Blueroses's avatar

There is a young lass from Kentuck’
When you meet her, you know you’re in luck
When she says “ok dear”
“Let me put you in gear”
You know that gal can sure drive a truck.

Blueroses's avatar

bob_ fluthers and gathers his harem
Sayin’ “Hey baby, now whatcha wearin’?”
If a girl ever said
“You, get into my bed!”
The reality surely would scare him

ucme's avatar

There once was a man from Peru
Who constantly wanted a poo
To shit was his aim
But his arse it was lame
Twas farts he pitifully blew

ucme's avatar

@Blueroses Merci beaucoup! It was meant from the “bottom” of my fart…..heart :¬)

Austinlad's avatar

A limerick with meter that flows-es
Was requested by a jelly named blueroses
But I’m not up for rhyming
It’s simply poor timing
For I’m low from my head to my toe-es.

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