General Question

15barcam's avatar

I'm officially in the middle of my first real crush. How do I get this incredible guy to notice me?

Asked by 15barcam (748 points ) May 18th, 2011

I really, really, really, really like this guy! He is so great! He knows me because I’m in a few classes with him, but doesn’t really talk to me that much. So, any tips from guys on what makes you notice a girl, and any tips from girls on how you make guys notice you would be fantastic! Thanks!

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

8 Answers

SeaTurtle's avatar

Congratulations.:)
Do you actually know any girlfriend that he has ever had?
If not, then it is very possible that he may be shy. I was pretty popular and cool at school, the girls were into me and I acted the part (Yeah I had done it all) but I was actually very afraid of failure and to open myself to anything that could hurt.

If you suspect he may be shy then the ball is in your park, don’t use friends as a go between but approach him yourself when he is alone (not with friends, boys can be idiots with their mates) and just start some small talk or something about classes etc then ask if he would like to do something together.
I dunno..Something as simple and casual as meeting up and grabbing a burger or milkshake together, Saturday at the mall.

sliceswiththings's avatar

Telll himmm. I know it seems impossible, and I wasn’t confident doing it till I was out of high school, but I promise it’s the most effective way to do it. It’s best if you can slip it into conversation. “What’d you do this weekend?” “Oh, not much. Did some homework, walked my dog, continued to develop a big ol crush on you. The usual.”

See how he reacts. I think it’s fair to say that most guys your age (what I’m guess to be your age) would go out with most girls. Guys are often too lame to pursue girls themselves, but they would jump at the opportunity to date someone if she asked him. However, if you wait for him to act, you could be waiting for a long time.

sliceswiththings's avatar

Also, to get to know him a little before you ask him out, my advice is to try to walk with him as much as possible. Walking short distances is a good way to have an excuse for conversation without making it nerve-wracking. If he walks home or into town or something after school, time it right so you walk with him. Lie about babysitting next door (but don’t get caught!). You say you have a class with him, try to leave it with him to talk. In high school I had a big crush and I memorized his schedule don’t look at me like that! and picked up certain passing periods that I could walk with him during. After a while of doing this, he would spot me coming near him and even wait for me. Ah, I miss the days of youthful crushes!

yankeetooter's avatar

Don’t bother…it will only end in heartbreak…mine did.

fastfox528's avatar

Maybe choose one of the classes you have together to ask him for help on a problem or question on an assignment. Tell him he’s good at that particular subject and you figured he’d know the answer. It’s been my experience that guys really like to help out, they’re natural problem solvers. And who doesn’t love a compliment? Even if you don’t need help in a class you could just pretend (just this once ; ) and it will open up the gates to more talking and flirting. Crushes can be really exciting! Good luck to you!

Zaku's avatar

I tend to notice when a girl is interested in me, I think, but then if I’m wrong, I wouldn’t know it, would I? Anyway, it gets my attention when girls look at me a lot, smile at me, sit next to me, hang around or talk to me. When I was younger, some girls did things like try to ask me out or write notes in my schoolbooks without saying who they were, which actually scared me. But just coming and talking to me would work. A girl could always come and talk to me, and if she kept talking to me and being friendly, I think that could have worked out well.

Haleth's avatar

Enjoy it! First crushes are the best thing ever. Sometimes crushes can be more fun than the actual relationship.

Strike up an ordinary conversation with him and bond over your shared interests. Many relationships start after the two people know each other pretty well. If you’re a wallflower, waiting around for him to notice you, he probably won’t. But if you can become friends with him, and talk and joke together, you’ll have a pretty good chance.

robmandu's avatar

As a guy, we’re indoctrinated to make the first move. And we know how hard that can be.

So, if a girl makes the first move of communication/contact, we will notice. And if we think you’re attractive, we’ll respond with the normal interest cues.

During any conversation, eye contact, smiles, and making plans for “next time”, even if it’s just “See you in class Tuesday” all communicate that you’re interested in the possibility of a relationship.

Try to observe your friend and pick up on anything you might have in common. If nothing obvious comes up, you can always talk about class.

The next step – regardless who suggests it – is to meet for a beverage or snack sometime. Try that.

A real relationship will not develop until long after the crush is gone. You don’t really know this guy. The emotional part is fun while it’s fun, but can be devastatingly painful, too. Protect yourself and be smart.

Finally, if, down the road, dude does break up with you, try not to go psycho and stalky. Act as you would want him to if you break up with him instead.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther