Why does he seem to be ignoring me?
Ok, to make this story short……I dated a guy long distance (Dallas-Houston) for about 7 months. We went on trips to Vegas and other places together and really enjoy each other’s company…….. Well last month, he told me, everyone was referring to me as his girlfriend. He said he wasn’t ready to be in a committed relationship. (I never once assumed we were exclusive, not while I was still 300 miles away) I know that in the months prior he was really into me. His friends said they had never heard him talk about a girl the way he talked about me ect…..However, I also know feelings can change and men can lose interest, especially if he started to feel I was too clingy. I obviously have feelings for this guy. But I reluctantly agreed to be just friends. It was his idea, not mine. He said he wanted to be not “just friends” but “good friends”.
Fast forward to this month, I went to Houston to see some of my friends. I did not stay at this guy’s house this time, but him and I hung out all 3 – days I was there. We seem to still be very close, just no sex. He went to tell me good night and he kissed me on the mouth. Just a peck, but still. I don’t know very many “friends” that kiss you on the mouth. The following week I had surgery, and he was so supportive. Calling to make sure I was OK, texting me, writing on my Face Book wall ect…..( I also suspect he may have gotten jealous b/c I posted a profile pic of me & another guy. But hey he just wanted to be friends, right??)
Anyway, my main dilemma is this. Since last Thursday when he texted me. I have called him once & texted him twice. It has now been a week and I have not had a return text or a return call. Yes, he is very busy, but it doesn’t take very long to write “hi” and hit send or something……….So why all of a sudden is he ignoring me like this?? He was so sweet and caring two weeks ago, and now nothing. I made it a point to take his number out of my phone, so I don’t go over board. It’s up to him to contact me. I realize he must have lost interest, or maybe he is with someone else. But, for someone who wanted to be such good friends, why is he ignoring me??
Thanks for your input. I obviously still like this guy, and was kinda hoping he had feelings for me too, and was keeping me around to keep his options open?? But I just don’t understand the sudden change….He runs Hot-then –Cold!!!
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10 Answers
I have no idea why he is acting that way.Maybe he found someone else?
Either way,I would put any thoughts of him out of my mind and date other people that aren’t so wishy washy.
You said it. Hot-n-Cold. Some guys are just like that. They lose interest very quickly. I’d say he doesn’t want to be close any more, even if he was supportive to you during those surgery days.
Could be that pic of you and another dude reminded him of his request to just be good friends and he couldn’t take the heat of knowing you are now with another guy.
WOW Cruiser I never thought of that!! I’m new on here, so thank you all…..
I just posted a pic of me & my date, he happens to be a Professional Baseball player so I was pretty proud of myself. However, no matter how many guys I have gone out with in the month following this “let’s be friends” talk…..I still want the one I can’t have!! We were so good together. I just hate that he is being an ass really, he has not initiated contact in a week, and ignored my attempts. So I know I have to move on. I have heard if I leave him alone, he will come calling me?? I don’t know if that’s true but that’s what I have to do. No facebook no texts, no calls!! I know he likes me. I just also know that even at 31 yrs old he is scared of a serious relationship. He has a career where he moves around a lot, and he’s in the public eye, so he could all most get any girl he wants….so he thinks. ha!!
The best way to find out what he is thinking is to ask him. You are wondering with no input. Ask him if his feelings have changed.
I’m going to 2nd what @Cruiser wrote. Your guy wanted to be “friends” so seeing you and another guy on facebook puts him in an uncomfortable position of not feeling right to ask you who the guy is, friend, friend with benefits or a family member. He may have other interests and be ok with testing them out but to imagine you doing the same but figuring you probably won’t and then the reality you may indeed be geared to checking other guys out, that might have his panties in a bunch.
No matter what though, he can’t handle it and you’d be disappointed to try and push a guy like this. You’re better off being open to a guy who says he wants to have a relationship because the trials and errors and learning that go with that between two people reciprocally interested in each other is stressful enough.
Games.
‘Friends’ don;t dump friends because they see a picture of them with another person of the opposite sex when THEY made the decision to just BE friends with said friend to begin with. haha
I wouldn’t waste any more energy in pondering what he’s thinking. Just go with his ACTIONS, that says it all.
It is too bad so many people cannot just figure out their agendas and act like big boys & girls.
He simply may not be that into you.
You are thinking about this just a little too much. Find a distraction!
Thanks again for the answers! I did stop thinking about this for a few days!! I did some productive activites. Still no return call or text from said “friend” however, he was checking out my FB page at 3:00AM which I found odd. He liked my status that day. Not sure why he’s checking what I’ve been up to, or why I care. As I have not heard from him, I sent him a friendly e-mail yesterday. Not sounding desperate but just checking in & I sent some pictures of us together. I told him friendships may fade but memories are forever, so here are some of my favorite pics of us. And I thanked him for being supportive when he was. If he responds great!! If not I have my answer that he’s not such a great friend. He’s a douche who felt guilty about trying to break up with me!! Either way I’m happy now. I have a new love interest and I realize no amount of crying will bring him back to me!!!
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