Social Question

mazingerz88's avatar

NSFW- Ladies, what would make it ok with you to share your man?

Asked by mazingerz88 (18445 points ) July 31st, 2011

The general norm is of course, monogamy. A man and a woman getting married and sex is exclusive within that contract. Yet there are cases when single women and even married women acquiesce to their guy or husband’s occasional or constant philanderings. What would make a woman agree to this?

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21 Answers

KateTheGreat's avatar

As long as I can get in on some three way action, I’m okay with this.

redfeather's avatar

As long as I’m sharing with @KatetheGreat, I’m good.

augustlan's avatar

If both parties agree to an open relationship, and it is an equal partnership, I don’t see any problem with it. I can’t really explain why I’d be ok with it and another person wouldn’t be… I just am.

mazingerz88's avatar

@redfeather and @KatetheGreat Ah, my two favorite sex sirens, nice!

msbcd's avatar

I couldn’t ever agree to anything of that sort. I’d expect my partner to be exclusive in all circumstances. I guess for some, it’d be okay if both parties have agreed to it. Whatever floats your boat, really.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@redfeather It’s funny, I thought the exact same thing when I was answering! Hahaha. The Fluther Floozies unite.

@mazingerz88 You better watch out, we’re coming for you next! :P

Vunessuh's avatar

I wouldn’t be okay sharing my SO with anyone. I’m certainly not against or disgusted with threesomes or open relationships, they just aren’t for me and I would expect my SO to respect that and hopefully operate the same way or the relationship probably wouldn’t work out.

mazingerz88's avatar

@KatetheGreat I sincerely wish my predecessors are still very much alive, all body parts intact. Lol.

wundayatta's avatar

There are women who like both men and women. They’re always up for a threesome. Then there are the women who say they are curious as to what it would be like to go down on another woman. I have been surprised about how many women have told me this is an interest of theirs. I guess they tell me because I’m safely married and will not ask them to do anything, since it is not something my wife would ever do.

Though, the truth is, I’m not interested in a threesome any more. I did that when I was young, but it’s not my thing now. But all I got to say is that I am surprised at how many women are curious.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@wundayatta not all women who “like both men and women” are “always up for a threesome.”

augustlan's avatar

@wundayatta I agree with @ANef_is_Enuf Bi-sexuals are just as likely to want monogamy as any other person.

Schroedes13's avatar

I agree with @msbcd and @Vunessuh, I am a monogamist myself and I want to be with her exclusively.

Pandora's avatar

I guess I would be alright with sharing if a gun was pointed at my head or his. Otherwise, pretty much no way in hell. They can get their own man. I found him first and I’ll be the last.
Ok, maybe one other way. She would be willing to do all the cleaning and laundry and medical appointments and the cooking and go to the movies I really don’t want to see and help him in every way a wife will as he gets older and I just get to stick around for his company and bed time.
If she’s willing to do all that and let me simply be his play thing than I might consider. I much rather be the other woman then.
Ah, but the other woman always wants all the fun and none of the responsibilty that comes with a real relationship.

FluffyChicken's avatar

If he was really “my man” I don’t like to share. If he was a friend with benefits, I’d me cool with that as long as I know everyone is clean and healthy

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

It would only happen if I thought it would be beneficial to the relationship. In my current, monogamous relationship… I am fairly certain that it would be detrimental. If it were to ever come to a point where we agreed that it would enrich the relationship, then we could move from there.

Blackberry's avatar

I am so disappointed with these answers. Why do we have to be so different! There is a god, and it is laughing its ass off at the predicament humans have placed themselves in (shaking my head).

Aethelflaed's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf Thank you. I hate it when men I’m dating find out that I don’t want a threesome, and they look like I’ve punched them in the face and taken away their favorite stuffed animal just for asking for more gruel.

I think in a lot of the relationships you were talking about, it’s not so much that the women are actually ok with the philandering, it’s that they believe that all men will do it no matter what, or at least that all powerful men (and their husband is a powerful man) will do it. So then either they leave him (which they don’t really want to do, for whatever reason), or they figure out some arrangement – usually that they’ll look the other way so long as he’s discrete and doesn’t bring public shame and humiliation to her. This view seems to have gone more out of style, though, because it turns out men can keep in their pants without bursting into flame.

redfeather's avatar

in reality though, if I were in a relationship, I wouldn’t share. Not even with you, @KatetheGreat. And if he wanted me to share, I’d drop him like a hot potato.

Schroedes13's avatar

No sharing. I will make sure my future msbcd, eeerr I mean, wife is completely devoted to me and I to her. Nothing will ever shake that bond even slightly!

Aspire's avatar

Nothing

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